This was much harder than it should have been and took a lot of thought. I'm open to thoughts.

Atlanta Hawks: Zaxby’s
Very popular in Georgia, occasionally excellent, but nobody outside the region is ever seriously thinking about them.

Boston Celtics: Dunkin’
Inseparable from Boston, overwhelmingly successful, and supported by people who will loudly explain why their thing is better than yours. "Something, something, 18 championships. The Minnesota championships don't count for the Lakers."

Brooklyn Nets: N/A
Who cares? Do they even exist?

Charlotte Hornets: Bojangles
A beloved Carolina institution, famously loved by LeBron, whose local popularity greatly exceeds its national relevance. Lebron to Charlotte? Source for Lebron's love of Bojangles: https://www.wbtv.com/2026/06/30/lebron-james-loves-bojangles-could-it-be-enough-lure-him-charlotte-hornets/

Chicago Bulls: Pizza Hut
Extremely popular in the 1990s, red, iconic, and responsible for countless childhood memories. Has not been truly relevant in years, if not decades.

Cleveland Cavaliers: Dairy Queen
Nobody considers it a premier destination, but every once in a while it gives you something genuinely great.

Dallas Mavericks: Whataburger
Texas is obsessed with it, its fans are extremely defensive, and outsiders are never quite sure whether it deserves the hype.

Denver Nuggets: Jersey Mike’s
Quietly became one of the best options available while everyone was distracted by louder, flashier chains.

Detroit Pistons: Little Caesars
Detroit-based, inexpensive, historically important, and currently something you choose only when your better options are unavailable.

Golden State Warriors: Five Guys
Irrelevant for a long time, then suddenly appeared everywhere. Expensive, but at its peak the product was undeniably excellent.

Houston Rockets: Sonic
Constantly experimenting, always promising something exciting, but the final product rarely looks as good as it did in the advertisement.

Indiana Pacers: Culver’s
Consistently good, fundamentally sound, and deeply respected by people who pay attention, but rarely anyone’s first national conversation topic.

Los Angeles Clippers: Papa Johns
Both had racist owners forced out and have spent the years since trying to rebuild the brand, with mixed results.

My 2nd option for the Clippers was McDowells. For those who didn’t know: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djI_ret3S9g

Los Angeles Lakers: McDonald’s
Known worldwide, historically dominant, unavoidable in national media, and somehow always involved whether the product is currently good or not.

Memphis Grizzlies: Wingstop
Young, loud, flavorful, and capable of starting an argument over absolutely nothing.

Miami Heat: Starbucks
Cultivates a polished lifestyle brand, takes itself extremely seriously, and has customers convinced that ordering there reflects their personality.

Milwaukee Bucks: A&W
Historic, associated with the Midwest and occasionally elite. Operates quietly in the background.

Minnesota Timberwolves: Rainforest Cafe
The theme is fun, the atmosphere is chaotic, and every visit makes you wonder whether the people running it have a coherent long-term plan.

New Orleans Pelicans: Popeyes
Louisiana roots and pretty decent when everything is available, but half the time they are out of the exact thing you came for.

New York Knicks: Denny’s
Popular for an incredibly long time despite spending most of that period not being very good.

Oklahoma City Thunder: Raising Cane’s
A relatively young operation with a limited formula that somehow works extremely well.

Orlando Magic: Arby’s
You forget they exist for months, if not years, at a time, then see one and think, “Wait, people still go there? How are they still in business?”

Philadelphia 76ers: Chipotle
Usually seems pretty good, but there is always the threat of a recurring disaster that completely ruins the experience.

Phoenix Suns: In-N-Out
Extremely popular in the Southwest, fiercely defended by its fans, and occasionally accused of being more reputation than substance.

Portland Trail Blazers: Voodoo Doughnut
A Portland institution that was once exciting and distinctive but now has turned into a tourist trap Chain.

Sacramento Kings: Heart Attack Grill
Following them is actively harmful to your health. They'll decrease your lifespan.

San Antonio Spurs: Subway
Boring, consistent, structurally sound, and successful for so long that people stopped appreciating how difficult it was.

Toronto Raptors: Tim Hortons
It's Canadian.

Utah Jazz: Chick-fil-A
Closed on Sundays and has a troubling history with the LGBTQ+ community.

Washington Wizards: Jack in the Box
Confusing, chaotic, and impossible to identify a clear philosophy behind. Who knows what they're doing? But they have a bright future now, right? Right?

This is a ranking of how likely each NBA team name is to be spoken, shouted, maned, whispered, misheard, or otherwise vocalized during a consensual sxual interaction between adults.

For the purposes of this exercise, “s*x” includes anything consenting adults might reasonably place beneath that very large umbrella. Post-coital conversation is explicitly excluded; otherwise, statements such as “Should we turn the Thunder game back on?” would count, and the entire project would just become another study proving that large-market teams receive disproportionate media attention.

I am using the official team nicknames, not fan abbreviations. That means the Philadelphia 76ers, not the “Sixers”; the Minnesota Timberwolves, not the “Wolves”; the Portland Trail Blazers, not the “Blazers”; and the Dallas Mavericks, not the “Mavs.”

I am allowing singular forms. One Bull, Buck, King, Rocket, Piston, Wizard, etc. will count.

Homophones count. Connected speech counts. A team name may also occur inside a larger spoken word or phrase.

Let’s get to the action.

Idea came from this: https://np.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/1pywyri/ranking_the_mlb_teams_according_to_how_likely_it/

Tier One: The Mood Has Been Assessed a Flagrant Two

30. Philadelphia 76ers

I can imagine someone saying, “Let’s try position seventy-six,” but the actual word “seventy-sixer” would require either a historically themed roleplay involving a tricorne hat or an alarming amount of laminated documentation. Dead last.

29. New Orleans Pelicans

“Pelican” would make an outstanding safe word. It is distinctive, impossible to mistake for encouragement, and immediately forces everyone involved to picture a throat pouch.

Its most likely appearance would be during beach sx when an actual pelican steals somebody’s sandwich. At that point the sxual interaction is over, the bird has possession, and New Orleans is running the offense through Zion again.

28. Los Angeles Lakers

“Take me by the lake” has potential.

“Take me, Laker” sounds like a plea directed toward a regional freight vessel.

The Lakers edge out the Pelicans because somebody, somewhere, undoubtedly has a highly specific Great Lakes shipping fantasy. I congratulate that person on finding their truth and respectfully decline to perform additional research.

Tier Two: Animal Roleplay, but With Unhelpful Extra Syllables

27. Minnesota Timberwolves

If the official nickname were simply Wolves, Minnesota would be dangerous.

Unfortunately, it is Timberwolves. I can imagine werewolf roleplay. I cannot imagine anyone reaching a moment of passion and deciding that precise habitat taxonomy is essential.

“Harder, timberwolf” sounds less like dirty talk than an instruction given by a concussed park ranger.

26. Toronto Raptors

“Raptor” is plausible in two situations:

One, dinosaur roleplay.

Two, somebody with long fingernails becomes overenthusiastic.

“Easy, raptor” is not a compliment.

Toronto nevertheless receives credit for claws, hissing, and the reasonable possibility that Jurassic Park has been left playing in the background, which is my favorite Spielberg movie btw.

25. Charlotte Hornets

Horny would be an unquestioned championship contender and probably winner.

The name could certainly be screamed during outdoor s*x, but I'm not a probabilities genius, but I feel it's unlikely.

Tier Three: A Linguistic Technicality Is Still a Technicality

24. Indiana Pacers

People absolutely discuss pace during s*x.

Faster pace. Slower pace. Maintain that pace. Stop changing pace like a toddler operating a ceiling fan.

Unfortunately, the team name is Pacers, not Pace.

Their strongest argument is the approximate homophone “pace, sir,” as in an extremely formal encounter where someone says, “A quicker pace, sir.” I am allowing it, but the official scorer has marked the basket as deeply embarrassing.

23. Cleveland Cavaliers

“Cavalier” can enter a s*xual interaction primarily as part of a warning:

“You’re being awfully cavalier about where you put that massage oil.”

There is also swashbuckler roleplay involving capes, boots, and a person who insists on fencing while shirtless. And realistically, has anyone really said the word Cavalier since 1648?

22. Boston Celtics

Boston has two possible routes.

There is fantasy-warrior roleplay, and there is somebody attempting a “Celtic knot” during rope bondage.

Unfortunately, saying “Celtic” immediately produces a pronunciation argument between a Boston sports fan and someone with a minor in archaeology. There are few faster ways to kill a mood, although putting on competitive Irish dance music would probably do it.

Tier Four: Costumes, Props, and Questionable Decisions

21. LA Clippers

If somebody says, “Pass me the clippers” in the middle of s*x, stop the clock, return to your designated positions, and request a full explanation.

Nautical roleplay provides another possibility, but I refuse to imagine anyone seductively identifying themselves as a nineteenth-century sailing vessel.

20. Portland Trail Blazers

Blazers alone would perform well.

“Take off the blazer.”

“Leave the blazer on.”

“Is that my blazer?”

“Why are you wearing my father’s blazer?”

But abbreviations are banned, meaning Portland needs the full Trail Blazer.

Its strongest possibility is: “Nobody has ever tried that with a yoga block before. You’re a real trailblazer.”

19. Dallas Mavericks

Top Gun roleplay gives Maverick a genuine path up the rankings.

The problem is that most people engaging in Top Gun roleplay are considerably more likely to shout “Talk to me, Goose,” which does nothing for Dallas’s numbers.

Still, “Easy, Maverick” is a believable warning to someone attempting a maneuver learned from either Reddit or a podcast hosted by three unmarried men.

Tier Five: Fantasy Roleplay Has Entered the Rotation

18. Memphis Grizzlies

“Grizzly” can describe body hair, a bear-themed persona, or the condition of the fitted sheet after a particularly physical fourth quarter.

“You’re looking grizzly” is therefore plausible, although not necessarily flattering.

Memphis survives on niche roleplay, lumberjack aesthetics, and the universal erotic power of a flannel shirt worn by someone who does not actually work outdoors.

17. Washington Wizards

Wizard roleplay supplies robes, spells, candles, wands, and at least one adult who has spent an irresponsible amount of money on Etsy.

“Work your wizardry” and “You’re a wizard” are both viable.

16. Golden State Warriors

“Warrior” works as praise after considerable effort:

“You absolute warrior.”

It also fits fantasy roleplay.

The plural Warriors is probably most likely in a group setting, and I am not drawing that play on the telestrator.

Tier Six: The Dictionary Is Starting to Sweat

15. New York Knicks

Homophones rescue New York because Knicks sounds exactly like nicks.

“Careful, I nicked myself shaving” is a sentence that might reasonably be said during s*x, although it generally results in an immediate reduction in pace.

The Knicks’ own history page traces “Knickerbockers” to a style of pants, which should have been an enormous competitive advantage, in the 1920s that is.

14. Denver Nuggets

“Nugget” can be a pet name, a snack, a lump of something valuable, or an undignified euphemism.

“Don’t crush my nuggets” is not elegant, but it is unquestionably in bounds.

Denver also benefits from everyone who has ordered chicken nuggets to a hotel room and then refused to pause what they were doing when the delivery arrived.

13. Utah Jazz

Jazz is already music that people deliberately play to create atmosphere.

Someone could ask to “jazz things up,” complain about the jazz playlist, or say “and all that jazz” while listing activities that I am not qualified to diagram.

There is even historical help: etymological research indicates that jazz acquired a slang meaning referring to s*x by at least 1918.

The primary danger is attempting to synchronize your movements with a seventeen-minute saxophone solo in 13/8 time.

Tier Seven: Environmental Conditions and Cowboy Equipment

12. Phoenix Suns

Singular forms are allowed, and sun appears inside sunburn, sunscreen, sunshine, Sunday, and sunroof.

“Careful, my sunburn” has almost certainly been uttered during vacation s*x in every hotel room between in a tropical place.

There is also an obvious homophone involving “sons,” which I am declining to investigate.

11. Oklahoma City Thunder

Thunder thighs.

Bring the thunder.

Thunderstorm s*x.

A headboard producing a thunderous noise.

The phrase “Was that thunder?” can be romantic, meteorological, or a serious structural-engineering question. All three count.

Oklahoma City narrowly misses the top ten because the loudest sound during s*x is traditionally someone’s upstairs neighbor dropping what appears to be a regulation bowling ball.

10. San Antonio Spurs

The Spurs have cowboy roleplay, “spur of the moment,” and a verb that can mean to incite or stimulate.

Actual metal spurs require advance discussion, enthusiastic consent, and possibly a tetanus booster. The vocabulary alone is enough to sneak San Antonio into the top ten.

Tier Eight: Now We’re Generating Quality Looks

9. Brooklyn Nets

Fishnets.

That is the entire scouting report.

8. Milwaukee Bucks

Singular buck gives us buck naked (George Costanza's name), buck wild, bucking, and young buck.

“Stop bucking” and “Don’t stop bucking” are both highly plausible and, crucially, mean opposite things. Listen carefully.

The Bucks also appear inside Starbucks, giving caffeine-fueled morning s*x a completely unnecessary technical path to qualification:

“We should not have had two Starbucks.”

Counts.

7. Detroit Pistons

A piston is literally a cylindrical component that moves back and forth under pressure.

I did not write that definition. Merriam-Webster did, and frankly Merriam-Webster needs to take a walk and think about what it has done and it includes the phrase "pissed on"

Tier Nine: Multiple Independent Routes to the Basket

6. Chicago Bulls

The Bulls have a remarkably complete résumé.

First, “bull” is used as a s*xual-role term in some consensual cuckold scenarios.

Second, there is bull-riding and cowboy roleplay.

Third, bull is fully contained inside bullsh*t, which may be shouted immediately after someone says, “I promise this has never happened before.”

Chicago has three completely independent ways to score and still cannot crack the top five.

5. Atlanta Hawks

Thanks to one extremely viral interview in 2024, “hawk” became part of a s*xual sound effect recognized by millions of people who wish they could erase at least twelve percent of their online memory. I do not wish to say the full term, but I know you know it.

Atlanta receives a top 5 ranking almost entirely through onomatopoeia.

4. Orlando Magic

“Work your magic.”

“Use those magic fingers.”

“That was magic.”

“Where did you put the magic wand?”

Magic can be an instruction, a compliment, a description, a roleplaying theme, or the name of an overpriced scented candle purchased from a store that also sells crystals.

Orlando is the rare five-tool prospect with no obvious weakness.

Tier Ten: Unanimous All-NBA First Team

3. Miami Heat

“In heat.”

“Turn up the heat.”

“Feel the heat.”

“Body heat.”

“Heat of the moment.”

Miami’s nickname is already doing unpaid labor in approximately half of all romance novels.

2. Houston Rockets

Singular rocket is effectively a homophone of “rock it.”

People can and do use “rock it” as encouragement during physical activity. That alone gives Houston an elite case.

Then add rockets as obvious anatomical metaphors, “blastoff,” “launch,” “pocket rocket,” and every person who has ever described an org*sm using NASA terminology despite possessing no background in aerospace engineering.

1. Sacramento Kings

It was always going to be the Kings.

There is royal roleplay.

There is “Yes, king.”

There is “My king.”

There are king-size beds, king costumes, and people who expect to be treated like royalty despite contributing neither emotional availability nor fitted sheets to the relationship.

But none of that is why Sacramento wins.

Under the established rule that a team name may appear inside a larger spoken word, the complete sound “king” occurs inside the word “f*cking.”

Fuc-KING.

Every time someone says the single word most stereotypically associated with this entire activity, they have technically said King.

The Sacramento Kings have been hiding inside s*x’s franchise player this whole time. It's not even close, this blows everything else out of the water.

Light the beam. Wash the sheets.

For the first time in Kings history, they have won something.

While the media may focus on the MVP award and other prestigious honors, reddit has the distinct honor of awarding the LVP trophy. The LEAST Valuable Player. It's a tradition that dates back to 2017, with Monta Ellis winning the trophy in what would be his last year in the league. Other winners include: Jamal Crawford in 2018, Solomon Hill in 2019, Isaiah Thomas in 2020, Aron Baynes in 2021, Facu Campazzo in 2022, Will Barton in 2023, Jordan Poole in 2024, and Terry Rozier last season. Notably, many of those players won the LVP and never saw meaningful minutes again.

Who will join our illustrious list? Before we get to that, let's remember the criteria and caveats:

--- Obviously, the worst players in the league are the ones who sit at the end of the bench and don't get any playing time. However, this award focuses on players who log a decent amount of minutes and consequently affected their team's play the most. Simply put: the more you play, the more damage you can do.

--- And that actual "damage" is important. If you're on a tanking team, no one cares about your poor play; it may even be a positive. We also tend to ignore young players (under 22) who are still developing and can't be expected to be solid players yet.

--- Similarly, we don't want to judge players within the context of their salary any more than the actual MVP does. We also don't weigh in injuries. If you want to factor in salary and injuries into your LVP ballots, there are no shortage of big name candidates to choose from this season. However, at the LVP offices, we focus on players' on-court performance instead.

--- We also wanted to note that this yearly column can come across as a little mean spirited, which is not our intention. Even the worst player in the NBA is in the top 99% percentile at their sport and making more money than most of us could dream about. And to be fair, even the worst player in the league probably costs his team only a couple of games. Hardly anyone has a VORP ("value over replacement player") worse than -2, so they shouldn't be the scapegoat for an entire organization. In many cases, they're simply played too much or played in the wrong role. But when the stakes are this high, it's fair to criticize players or their teams for that negative impact.

NOT QUITE BAD ENOUGH (in alphabetical order)

PF Kyle Kuzma, Milwaukee: 26.2 minutes per game, - 2.3 box plus/minus

At the Academy Awards, the top movies tend to dominate throughout the ceremony: best production design, best cinematography, best editing, etc. In the LVP races, the most "mid" teams tend to do the same. A small group of teams flood the ballot with candidates. In those terms, the Milwaukee Bucks and Chicago Bulls may have been the One Battle After Another and Sinners of the season, jostling for positioning and the top trophy.

Among them, Milwaukee supplied us with the most candidates: from Cam Thomas to Andre Jackson Jr. to Myles Turner (who won Bill Simmons and Zach Lowe's version of LVP on their podcast). In fact, 18 of the 21 players who suited up for the Bucks graded as negative in box plus/minus. (Box plus/minus is an analytical estimate of a player's impact per 100 possessions, taken from basketball-reference.com)

So who is the worst of the worst? Based on volume of minutes, Kyle Kuzma has a case to make. Kuzma finished in the top 5 in last year's LVP voting for the same reason that he'll be mentioned this year. He's somewhat effective as a scoring PF, but when he has to play more SF and away from the basket, his mediocre shooting (34.7% from 3) and his struggles defending in space become more pronounced. He's played 9 seasons in the NBA, and he's graded as a negative defender in BPM in every single one of them (with -1.3 this year).

Predictably, Kuzma played better and scored more later in the season when Giannis Antetokounmpo was out (upping his TS% from 57% to 63% after the break), but the season was lost by that point anyway. And that lost season was particularly damaging for this franchise, as it may have represented their last gasp with the Greek Freak.

SF Isaac Okoro, Chicago: 26.9 minutes per game, - 3.8 box plus/minus

In real life, we tend to have a good idea of the serious MVP candidates in the preseason. Some are saying that LVP may be trending the same way. In our first ever LVP preseason watch list, we flagged 6 potential contenders, and 3 of those will be included on the ballot today. Those included Kyle Kuzma, and the Bulls wing Isaac Okoro.

Like Kuzma, Okoro has a sizeable role with his team (starting 62/63 games in his case). And like Kuzma, he may have some structural flaws in his game. Okoro isn't a good shooter (33.0% from 3 this season), but that's not a death sentence on its own. There are a few guards and wings that don't reliably hit open threes. However, those starters (like Dyson Daniels, Amen Thompson) need to be ELITE on the other side of the ball.

Okoro gets cast in the role of a "stopper" in that way, but he's not at that level. He has a strong frame and effort level, but he's not overly long (6'5" with a 6'8" wingspan). That limits his ability to disrupt a game (illustrated by modest averages of 0.7 steals and 0.5 blocks) and his overall ceiling as a defender (illustrated by his -0.8 DBPM this season). To be clear, I don't think Kyle Kuzma or Isaac Okoro are bad players, but they've been miscast given their skill level.

NOT QUITE ENOUGH MINUTES (in alphabetical order)

PG Lonzo Ball, Cleveland: 20.5 minutes per game, - 1.2 box plus/minus

When new coach Kenny Atkinson arrived in Cleveland last season, he sparked a jolt up to 64-18 and a # 1 seed. A major part of that success was the surprise breakout of Ty Jerome off the bench.

To replace Jerome (who left via free agency), the Cavs brought in another big guard in Lonzo Ball. Many were excited about the move. I'm presuming: those people didn't watch Ball play in Chicago the year before. Injuries have sapped whatever aggressiveness he had as a scorer, leaving him impotent on offense. If you're not a threat to score (or to even try to score), it's hard to be an impact passer.

Ball's struggles continued this season. Despite his size at 6'5", he was deathly allergic to crossing inside the three-point line. He only attempted 0.8 twos and only 0.6 free throws per game despite a healthy 20.8 minutes a night. That only made him easier to defend from 3, where he shot a career-low 27.2%. All in all, that totaled a 43% true shooting number that's hard to believe in the modern NBA.

Ball's push for LVP hit a snag though: he stopped playing. In fact, he hasn't logged a single minute after the All-Star break. He got stuck at 35 games played, which limited his impact and may have cost him this trophy.

SG Jordan Hawkins, New Orleans: 13.6 minutes per game, - 6.2 box plus/minus

Coming out of UConn, Jordan Hawkins looked the part of a future sniper. As a sophomore, he averaged 16.2 points per game on 38.8% from three and 88.7% from the line, helping the Huskies win the national championship in the process. There may have been limitations in other aspects of his game, but boy, could this kid shoot. He projected as a good 4th/5th starter and spacer.

Instead, Hawkins gave credence to all those old-school scouts who harp on size and athleticism. He simply hasn't been able to generate enough clean looks in the NBA to take advantage of his talents. He can't get to the line -- he can't score inside -- and he's only been average from 3. That's resulted in a 48.0% true-shooting percentage this year, which ranks near the bottom among veterans. His defense is also poor (-3.0 box plus/minus on that end).

Hawkins would be a stronger contender for LVP if he played more. As is, he's only averaged 13.6 minutes per game across 51 games. Even with those limited minutes, he ranks in the bottom 12 among all 582 players in total win shares this year (at negative 0.4). To be fair, Hawkins' best month came at the end of the season -- so he's not someone I'd totally give up on in the future. But for this year, it wasn't pretty.

at long last, OUR OFFICIAL LEAST VALUABLE PLAYER BALLOT

(3) PF Nikola Jovic, Miami: 17.2 minutes per game, - 3.5 box plus/minus

In many cases, you can see LVP candidates coming a mile away. But of all the names listed here, Nikola Jovic may be the most surprising party crasher. The young forward was coming off a solid season where he averaged 10.7 points and shot 37.1% from deep. Entering Year 4 (and fresh off an extension), the needle appeared to be pointed up for him, especially given the organization's reputation for player development.

Unfortunately, Erik Spoelstra's secret weapon may have accidentally been set to de-volution (ala the original Super Mario Bros movie) instead. Nagging injuries may have played a role as they tend to do, but Jovic's confidence looked shakier -- and the Heat's confidence in him looked shakier in turn. By the time the dust settled, he had shooting splits of 37-27-68, combining for a true shooting percentage of 48.0% that represented a stark decline from 59.5% the prior year. For a slower-footed player who was never going to be an elite defender, that's a real problem.

You can argue that Jovic should be excused based on his youth (still only 22) or his limited minutes (not much more than Lonzo Ball). However, he grades highly in terms of negative "impact" on the season. The Bucks and Bulls finished about 10 games off the playoff pace; no decent rotational player was going to save their season. Miami's a different story. The team finished 43-39, landing at the 10th seed. If the Heat could have won a few more games, they could have contended for a seed as high as 5th (with Toronto at 46-36). Instead, they ended up in the play-in for the 4th consecutive year. And for the first time, that stung them.

(2) SG Gary Trent Jr., Milwaukee: 21.2 minutes per game, - 5.4 box plus/minus

It's disappointing to see Gary Trent Jr. on this list as well. It wasn't too long ago that Trent showed promise as a 3+D guard with Portland (in the covid bubble days). He took it up a level from there in Toronto, averaging 18.3 PPG in his age-23 season. He may have never been a stud defender but he had some activity, with averages of 1.7 and 1.6 steals per game in 2021-22 and '22-23, respectively.

But now, still only age 27, Trent Jr. hasn't been able to sustain that. The "3" is still sort of there (36.0% from deep this season), but any sign of the "D" left the building. There's no "B" or "C" or much of anything else either. Despite healthy minutes (21.2 per game, 21/65 starts), Trent Jr. averaged 0.5 steals, 0.0 blocks, and 1.0 rebounds a game. When you're playing over 20 minutes a game, that's hard to do. If you were sitting courtside as a fan, there's a decent chance a ball caroms your way. If you're on the court, you should get 2-3 rebounds by accident alone. It's almost as if Trent Jr. was playing dodgeball out there.

Sure enough, the advanced stats for Trent Jr. are ugly (-5.4 BPM, -1.2 VORP, negative win shares) as they are for most of the Bucks this season. The team may have been undermanned from a roster perspective, but you can't excuse poor effort. Instead of fighting valiantly like Spartans in 300, Doc Rivers had his cast playing dead instead.

(1) PF Patrick Williams, Chicago: 20.5 minutes per game, - 4.5 box plus/minus

May you all find someone who believes in you the way (former) Bulls GM Arturas Karnisovas believes in Patrick Williams. In his very first draft with the team, Karsinovas selected Williams with the # 4 pick despite the fact that Williams had started exactly 0/29 games in college. After a few years, Karsinovas gave Williams a healthy extension despite the fact that Williams hadn't shown much in the NBA either. He saw something in the kid that no one else did.

And unfortunately, that's a major reason why Karsinovas is on his way out of the front office and on his way to get LASIK surgery. That vision never became a reality. In fact, Williams somehow got worse than ever in Year 6. He only shot 37.2% from the field (a career low) and only grabbed 3.0 rebounds per game (a career low). And remember, this isn't a little guard here -- this is a forward praised for his athleticism.

The deeper you dive into the numbers, the more jarring it gets. Williams only shot 28.1% from the field... on attempts from 3-10 feet out. He only shot 50.6%... on attempts from 0-3 feet out. That means that Shaquille O'Neal had a better chance of making a free throw (career 52.7%) than Patrick Williams did of making a shot an arm's length away from the basket this season.

To Billy Donovan's credit, the team finally realized the problem and played Patrick Williams less than usual. They shifted him to the bench and a rotational role. Still, there's a healthy amount of minutes here (20.5 per game for 72 games) and an unhealthy amount of suckiness that's the perfect recipe for an LVP.

Congrats to P-Will and the entire Bulls franchise on the (dis)honor.

Nephews and Uncs, I analyzed 1.57 million r/NBA comments to find out who this sub hates most.

Westbrook opened at #1 with Bronny at #2. Simmons took over mid-November. Then one player started climbing in late December, but the #1 spot changed hands three more times before the season ended.

Explore the dashboard — dig into any player or flair

How it works

• Pulled 6.9M comments from r/NBA (Oct 2024 – Jun 2025) via Arctic Shift
• Filtered to 1.57M mentioning specific players (111 tracked)
• Classified each as negative / neutral / positive and attributed to a single player using Claude Haiku 4.5 via the Batch API
• Cost: $254 and mass amounts of my free time

The Top 5 Most Hated

Minimum 5,000 comments to qualify. Lower the threshold on the dashboard and you'll find Dillon Brooks (47.2%, 3.4K comments), Jalen Green (51.4%, 4.8K), and Bradley Beal at a staggering 71.1% (2.2K).

What the data actually shows

Volume ≠ hate. Luka leads in raw negative comments (49.6K) but ranks middling in rate (37.2%). LeBron has 137K total comments with below-average negativity. Being talked about constantly ≠ being hated.

Hated ≠ polarizing. Westbrook is the most polarizing player (68.3% of comments carry strong sentiment) but only #4 in hate — because 23.1% of his comments are positive. He has vocal defenders. Draymond? 14.5% positive. Almost nobody defends him. That's why he's #1.

The #1 spot is universal. He's the most hated player for 22 of 30 fanbases. Jazz fans lead at 63.6% negativity. No other player dominates hate like this across the league.

r/NBA is structurally negative. Only 11 of 59 qualified players have positive net sentiment. The most loved? Wemby at +0.217. The most hated? Draymond at -0.366 — roughly 1.7× more extreme. This sub's ceiling for hate far exceeds its ceiling for love.

Rivalries show up in the data. - Simmons' most hostile fanbases: Sixers (59.2%) and Nets (48.0%). Both former teams. The man can't escape his past. - OKC fans rate Westbrook at 24.2% negative and 37.8% positive — one of the only fanbases where he has a positive net sentiment. Lakers fans: 55.1% negative. Same player, two completely different realities.

The dashboard

Built a Streamlit app so you can dig into this yourself:

• Leaderboard: Adjustable thresholds — filter out small sample sizes or see the full chaos
• Player Detail: Every player's sentiment breakdown + which fanbases hate them most
• Flair View: See who YOUR fanbase hates most. Celtics? Draymond at 58.0%. Jazz? Draymond at 63.6%. The man is inescapable.

Limitations

• ~96% classifier accuracy (I hand-labeled 500 comments to verify)
• Sentiment ≠ hate — factual criticism ("he shot 2-15") counts as negative
• Equal weighting — a 500-upvote comment counts the same as a buried one
• One season only (2024-25)

Dashboard: https://nba-hate-tracker.streamlit.app/ GitHub: https://github.com/oluobiri/nba-hate-tracker (full code, methodology, and architecture)

Happy to answer questions. Yes, I need to touch grass.

Eastern Conference

Boston Celtics: Celtics are people from Ireland, so it's edible.

New York Knicks: Knicks are pants, so they're not edible.

Milwaukee Bucks: Bucks are deer, deer are edible.

Cleveland Cavaliers: Cavaliers are daring, fearless men who never surrender, no matter the odds. Men are edible.

Orlando Magic: Magic is inanimate, so it's not edible.

Indiana Pacers: Pacer Horses are edible.

Philadelphia 76ers: 76ers refer to the 1776 signing of the declaration of independence. Doesn't sound edible.

Miami Heat: Heat is inanimate, so it's not edible.

Bulls: Bulls are alive, so edible.

Hawks: Hawks are a bird, edible.

Brooklyn Nets: Nets aren't edible

Raptors: Raptors are animals, so they're edible in theory.

Hornets: Hornets are edible

Wizards: Wizards wield magic, so it might be hard to eat them, but they are still alive, so they're edible.

Pistons: Pistons are not edible.

Western Conference

Thunder: Thunder isn't edible.

Nuggets: Gold nuggets aren't edible. Chicken Nuggets however are, unless they're from Burger King.

Timberwolves: Wolves are edible.

Clippers: Sailing ships aren't edible.

Mavs: Horses are edible

Suns: The sun isn't edible obviously, being a giant ball of flaming gas.

Pelicans: Pelicans are birds, so they're edible.

Lakers: Lakers are named after Minnesota’s lakes, so they're edible, well drinkable that is.

Kings: Kings are people so they're edible.

Warriors: Warriors are people so they're edible.

Rockets: Rockets are not edible.

Jazz: Jazz is a type of music, not edible.

Grizzlies: Grizzlies are bears, edible.

Spurs: Spurs are a metal tool designed to be worn on the heels of cowboy boots for the purpose of controlling a horse's movement and direction. Not edible.

Trail Blazers: Blazers are people, edible.

source for team names meaning: https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1523132-the-origin-stories-of-every-nba-teams-name

Totals

• Edible: 17
  • Eastern: 9 (Celtics, Bucks, Cavaliers, Pacers, Bulls, Hawks, Raptors, Hornets, Wizards)
  • Western: 8 (Timberwolves, Mavericks, Pelicans, Lakers, Kings, Warriors, Trail Blazers, Grizzlies)
• Not Edible: 13
  • Eastern: 6 (Knicks, Magic, 76ers, Heat, Nets, Pistons)
  • Western: 7 (Thunder, Nuggets, Clippers, Suns, Rockets, Jazz, Spurs)

Thanks for Reading-Zion Williamson

Eastern Conference

Atlanta Doves

Boston Anglo Saxons

Brooklyn Rims

Charlotte Swatters

Chicago Bears

Cleveland Roundheads

Detroit Pistoffs

Indiana Idlers

Miami Ice

Milwaukee Timberwolves

New York Skinny Jeans

Orlando Science

Philadelphia Redcoats

Toronto Asteroids

Washington Muggles

Western Conference

Dallas Conformists

Denver Tailings

Golden State Pacifists

Houston Submarines

Los Angeles (C) Pirates

Los Angeles (L) Deserts

Memphis Salmon

Minnesota Bucks

New Orleans Fish

Oklahoma City Silence

Phoenix Black Holes

Portland Followers

Sacramento Serfs

San Antonio Barefeet

Utah Classical

Seattle Active Basketball Team

You can vote on which team names are best here: https://all-our-ideas.citizens.is/group/3910

"(The flag) is a symbol of tyranny and oppression. This country has a long history of that. I don't criticize those who stand, so don't criticize me for sitting. If I have to give up basketball, I will." - Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf.

"Being out there on the court while everyone else is standing (for the anthem), that is being disrespectful. If he believes what he believes he should stand forward and deal with the repercussions." - Michael Jordan

“I’m no politician, but the man has to remember he’s made a lot of money in this country.” All-star Nets forward Jayson Williams

A prominent Colorado radio station sent their employees to a Colorado mosque in turbans, playing the Star Spangled Banner on trumpets.

David Stern and the NBA suspended Abdul-Rauf indefinitely based on a rule (standing at attention for the anthem) that was not enforced by the CBA.

Colorado politicians likened Abdul-Rauf's actions to "treason."

"People will characterize me as a racist. I compromised. I will stand and offer my own prayer for those who are suffering." Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf

Part I: Chris Jackson Takes the World by Storm

Before he was Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, before he found himself seemingly alone against an entire nation in his convictions, before his basketball career became another what-if, he was Chris Jackson.

He was a basketball prodigy from Gulfport, Mississippi, a skinny kid from a poor, single-parent home who seemed almost incapable of missing a shot. He grew up with Tourette syndrome, although he would not be diagnosed until he was 17. For years, he did not understand why his mind demanded such precision from him, why he had uncontrollable tics, why on the court putting up shots could not end until everything went exactly right.

So he shot, and shot. He wouldn't let himself leave a gym until he had hit dozens of free throws consecutively, swished. A shot that went in, but touched the rim was considered a miss. At one point, during a high school practice, he reportedly made 283 free throws in a row.

At LSU, Jackson became a national phenomenon. In his freshman season, he scored 965 points, still only trailing record-holder Pete Maravich for the most points ever in a season by an SEC player. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRNXcd2YEWI In an era where it was rare for freshmen to start on quality teams, he put up 30.2 points per game, second in the nation.

He scored 53 points against Florida as a freshman, still one of the most dominant performances by a freshman in college basketball history. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_EsvXG16LU Jackson ranked highly among the best pure shotmakers of his generation from a young age.

The next year, he averaged 28 playing alongside a freshman Shaq, then a foul-prone defensive menace who was only third on that team in scoring. It was Abdul-Rauf, and not Shaq who was the go-to scorer. Despite being undersized at roughly 6'0, 165 pounds, he was selected third in the NBA draft that summer by the Denver Nuggets.

Part II: A unique talent, on the verge of greater recognition

Often, when people talk about what-ifs in basketball history, there's a tendency to exaggerate the past. Abdul-Rauf was not Stephen Curry. He was more undersized, like every player he wasn't as great of a three point shooter, and he had to change his physique and improve as a playmaker to adjust to the league.

But he had outlier strengths so extreme that his rise to NBA stardom, at one point, was more of a matter of "when" than if.

In his third season, he took a major jump, averaging 19.2 points and 4.2 assists, winning the Most Improved Player award.

He led the eighth seed Denver Nuggets in scoring during the regular season. Then he helped them upset the first seeded SuperSonics with Payton and Kemp, with the Nuggets being the first eighth seed to beat a one seed. In the quarterfinals, he led the Nuggets in scoring again, taking the Malone-Stockton Jazz to seven and falling just short of a conference finals matchup against Hakeem's Rockets.

He steadily improved, and three seasons later, at 26, had his best individual year. He put up 51 on Stockton and the Jazz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT1y3evdJeA

In another game, he put up a ridiculous 30-20-8 statline. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gW95__TeWk

For the season, he averaged 19.2 points and 6.8 assists in an era where score-first point guards were rare.

He was both arguably the best shotmaking point guard in the league, and one of the best scoring PGs, while being a much improved playmaker, and was just entering his prime. He had been snubbed of all-star recognition against stacked PG competition in the West (Stockton, Payton, Kidd, Kevin Johnson).

But his ascent to all-star recognition seemed inevitable, and he was already known as one of the league's best offensive guards. He was the best free throw shooter in the league along with Mark Price, led the league in percentage in 96, and came one make away from setting the single season percentage record in 94.

He was even strongly in contention for a spot on the 1996 U.S. Olympic team.

He had spent his entire life chasing perfection on a basketball court. Now, just as he was finally approaching the heights that seemed destined for him, his career was ripped apart for reasons entirely unrelated to basketball.

Part III: Opposed, and unsupported

As the young scoring guard transformed from looking like a draft bust to one of the best scoring and shooting point guards in the world, he transformed in his personal life as well.

At LSU, Jackson had been introduced to The Autobiography of Malcolm X by his coach, Dale Brown. During his first season in Denver, he began to read the Qur’an, becoming entirely engrossed, and converting in 1991.

In 1993, Chris Jackson became Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf. The name change was an expression of a quickly changing personal identity. That identity would go on to clash directly with the league's apparent values, as well as much of the country's.

For an entire season, in 95-96, Abdul-Rauf would take his form of protest, either staying in the locker room during the national anthem, or choosing not to stand. Until March 12th, it went largely unnoticed by the general public, and was largely tolerated by those who were aware of it.

But, fans began to pick up on it, and in early March began to call local Denver radio stations to complain about Abdul-Rauf. Local media followed up on it with Abdul-Rauf, and they got their soundbite.

His reasoning was both religious and political. Abdul-Rauf said that the Qur’an forbade nationalistic ritualism, and that he saw the U.S. flag as a symbol of oppression.

“If I have to give up basketball, I will,” he said.

"The flag) is a symbol of tyranny and oppression. This country has a long history of that." - Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf

Abdul-Rauf had spent his entire life looking to achieve perfection in basketball. As a child, he had refused to leave the gym until his shot accuracy met entirely unreasonable standards, for anyone. Now, even over a passion that had consumed his entire childhood, it was clear that he valued something more.

With more recent memory of Kaepernick's extremely similar protest 20 years later, it still represents a deeply contentious issue, one that arguably cost Kaepernick at least the end of a clearly declining career.

But Abdul-Rauf's was different. Not only was he entering his prime, among the best players at his position, and in serious contention for a spot on the follow up to the 1992 Dream Team, you would have to look far and wide for examples of genuine support within the league. There was one notable exception, from former LSU teammate Shaquille O'Neal, put only in the way that he could.

“It isn’t dishonorable. Mahmoud is Muslim, and you have to respect that. He's a good person. He’s not a butthole.” - Shaquille O'Neal https://www.sportsbusinessjournal.com/Daily/Issues/1996/03/13/Leagues-Governing-Bodies/NBA-SUSPENDS-ABDUL-RAUF-SUSPENDED-OVER-ANTHEM-FLAP/

Abdul-Rauf faced a difficult, and extraordinary predicament. Michael Jordan, Kareem, and many of the league's current players at that time viscerally disagreed with his stance, a simple one choosing not to embrace the national anthem. The Nuggets' owner, and at one point an anonymous teammate denounced him. Local radio stations mocked him and his religion, and fans vilified him, bringing giant American flags to games and booing him passionately.

And Abdul-Rauf, himself, was indefinitely suspended without pay. It was immediately speculated that his protest may well have cost himself a spot on the 1996 Olympic Team.

https://time.com/archive/6728777/notebook-mar-25-1996/

https://www.sfgate.com/sports/ostler/article/scott-ostler-why-we-should-stand-up-for-3320857.php

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1996-03-20-sp-49119-story.html

It was all backed up by a very thinly supported rule. David Stern had previously legislated that NBA players must stand at aattention for the anthem, but it had not ever actually been ratified by the CBA. For that, Abdul-Rauf was forced to compromise his beliefs, or face never playing again.

After one game, he did end up compromising - he would stand, but hold his head in prayer. Months later, at the end of the season, he was traded on a discount to Sacramento, despite being arguably Denver's best building block after Dikembe Mutombo was traded.

Sacramento had nothing to offer as a basketball team beyond Mitch Richmond, but Abdul-Rauf's minutes dwindled over the next two years. His on-ball production was his greatest ability - and on a team that desperately needed another on-ball creator, the ball was taken out of his hands.

In two years, without a clear individual decline, Abdul-Rauf had gone from one of the game's most promising talents to out of the league entirely. It just so happened that the national anthem controversy lined up perfectly with almost no teams wanting to touch him, and that dramatic decline in perceived value.

A record denied

In six years in Denver, Abdul-Rauf shot 91.6% from the free throw line. He is as good a free throw shooter as anybody who has ever played in the NBA, full stop. Currently, Steph Curry has gotten his record all the way up to 91.2%, and the next leader is Steve Nash at 90.4%.

After Denver, Abdul-Rauf's free throw percentage did dip over limited reps, now with a significantly greater distraction from home and away fans every time he went to the line. His career percentage was 90.52%. No longer greater than Curry, but even that percentage would have been great enough to be the all-time leader until Curry passed that mark in 2020 and never looked back.

Abdul-Rauf made 1,051 free throws in his career - the NBA's requirement to make the all-time leaderboard is 1,200. One more full season, with the freedom to run an NBA offense, and he would have gotten there.

Because he didn't, when people discuss the best free throw shooters ever, they always tend to leave out the guy who might have been the best of anyone.

Another interesting detail is that unlike most NBA statistics and leaderboards, it's not entirely clear when that 1,200 free throw requirement came into place, and whether it pre-dated Abdul-Rauf's record-setting exploits.

https://www.basketball-reference.com/about/rate_stat_req.html

I actually asked the founder of basketball reference about it a ways back when he commented on this website, and he said he'd look into it. Maybe I'm just not cool, but he never got back to me. Whether that's a deeper conspiracy (unlikely) or just a little something that's been lost to time, it adds just a little bit more mystery to the situation.

Either way, just 150 free throws made, and likely hardly any more attempts was the difference between him being seen as perhaps the greatest free throw shooter ever, and not being recognized at all.

Credit to the Goat Zandrick Ellison for the idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/jlilh6/oc_which_us_president_could_field_the_best_nba/

Each president gets a team made up entirely of players drafted while he was in office. I put all 14 teams into Basketball GM and had them play a 78-game season, followed by best-of-seven playoff series.

The lineups listed below are the lineups I would use, although Basketball GM made its own rotation decisions during the simulation.

Here are the teams in chronological order:

(14) TEAM HARRY TRUMAN: 1947-1952

PG: Bob Cousy
SG: Andy Phillip
SF: Paul Arizin
PF: Dolph Schayes
C: George Mikan

Bench: Ed Macauley, Neil Johnston, Clyde Lovellette, George Yardley, Harry Gallatin, Bob Davies

Team strategy: Everything would run through Mikan inside, with Cousy organizing the offense and Arizin and Schayes providing as much spacing as a team from this era can reasonably provide.

There is real talent here, but they would have to adjust to a style of basketball that barely resembles the one they played. Truman was a huge underdog against Thomas Dewey in the election he won, and once again, he's got an uphill battle.

(13) TEAM DWIGHT EISENHOWER: 1953-1960

PG: Oscar Robertson
SG: Jerry West
SF: Elgin Baylor
PF: Bill Russell
C: Wilt Chamberlain

Bench: Bob Pettit, Sam Jones, Hal Greer, Richie Guerin, Bailey Howell, Tom Heinsohn

Team strategy: This is probably the most physically overwhelming starting lineup in the tournament.

Oscar and West handle the ball, Baylor scores on the wing, and Russell and Wilt make it nearly impossible to score around the basket.

The obvious issue is spacing. Playing Russell and Wilt together would give them ridiculous defense and rebounding, but the paint could get crowded. Bob Pettit may be a better fit at power forward in certain matchups because of his shooting.

(12) TEAM JOHN F. KENNEDY: 1961-1963

PG: John Havlicek
SG: Dave DeBusschere
SF: Chet Walker
PF: Jerry Lucas
C: Nate Thurmond

Bench: Walt Bellamy, Zelmo Beaty, Gus Johnson, Tom Meschery, Terry Dischinger

Team strategy: Kennedy’s shortened presidency gives him the smallest player pool and weakest. Kennedy's team has an alarming lack of shooters, although that may be better for JFK.

The team would have to win with defense, rebounding and physicality. Havlicek would be the main creator, while Lucas, Thurmond and Bellamy control the paint.

The problem is that almost everyone wants to operate inside the arc. This team would be difficult to push around, but also fairly easy to pack the paint against.

(11) TEAM LYNDON B. JOHNSON: 1964-1968

PG: Walt Frazier
SG: Dave Bing
SF: Rick Barry
PF: Wes Unseld
C: Elvin Hayes

Bench: Earl Monroe, Gail Goodrich, Willis Reed, Jerry Sloan, Lou Hudson, Bob Love

Team strategy: LBJ has a more normal and balanced roster than the earlier presidents.

Frazier and Bing form a strong backcourt, Barry gives them shooting and scoring, and Unseld and Hayes provide rebounding and interior strength.

They could also move Barry to power forward and add another guard if they needed more offense. That would probably be necessary against the modern teams because an Unseld-Hayes frontcourt would make spacing difficult.

(10) TEAM RICHARD NIXON: 1969-1974

PG: Tiny Archibald
SG: George Gervin
SF: Julius Erving
PF: Bob McAdoo
C: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Bench: Bill Walton, Artis Gilmore, Bob Lanier, Dave Cowens, Pete Maravich, Jo Jo White, Maurice Lucas

Team strategy: There is nothing tiny about this roster other than the point guard.

Kareem would be the centerpiece, with Dr. J and Gervin attacking from the wings. McAdoo gives them a big who can shoot, which makes him a better fit than simply starting another traditional center.

The bench has Walton, Gilmore, Lanier and Cowens, because apparently Nixon collected centers the same way he collected enemies lists.

The team has enormous talent, but managing the spacing and finding minutes for all the big men would be difficult. Nixon would likely break in and steal the other team's playbooks, so that could help them out.

(9) TEAM GERALD FORD: 1975-1976

PG: World B. Free
SG: David Thompson
SF: Adrian Dantley
PF: Alex English
C: Moses Malone

Bench: Dennis Johnson, Robert Parish, John Lucas, Mitch Kupchak

Team strategy: Ford only gets two draft classes, but they produced a lot of scoring.

Free, Thompson, Dantley and English would all want the ball, while Moses cleans up everything around the basket.

They would be fun, but the fit is questionable. There are too many score-first players who prefer similar areas of the floor. Dennis Johnson may need to start just to provide some defense and structure.

(8) TEAM JIMMY CARTER: 1977-1980

PG: Magic Johnson
SG: Sidney Moncrief
SF: Larry Bird
PF: Kevin McHale
C: Jack Sikma

Bench: Bernard King, Kiki Vandeweghe, Marques Johnson, Maurice Cheeks, Walter Davis, Micheal Ray Richardson, Bill Laimbeer

Team strategy: Carter’s one term happened to include both Magic and Bird, which is generally helpful. I heard those guys were pretty decent.

Magic runs the offense, Bird provides shooting and secondary playmaking, Moncrief takes the toughest perimeter matchup, and McHale and Sikma give them a skilled frontcourt.

The team does not have the absurd depth of some later presidents, but the starting lineup fits together extremely well. Bernard King would also be a ridiculous bench scorer.

Nice guy Jimmy Carter finally caught a break.

(7) TEAM RONALD REAGAN: 1981-1988

PG: John Stockton
SG: Michael Jordan
SF: Scottie Pippen
PF: Karl Malone
C: Hakeem Olajuwon

Bench: Charles Barkley, David Robinson, Clyde Drexler, Dominique Wilkins, Reggie Miller, Chris Mullin, Isiah Thomas, Patrick Ewing, Joe Dumars, Dennis Rodman

Team strategy: Reagan has the deepest roster in the tournament.

Stockton and Malone already know how to play together. So do Jordan and Pippen. Hakeem gives them another elite scorer while also protecting the rim.

They could play big with Robinson or Ewing, go small with Barkley, add shooting with Miller and Mullin, or completely suffocate teams with Jordan, Pippen, Dumars and Rodman.

The only real concern is that the preferred starting five does not have elite three-point shooting. Fortunately, there are several Hall of Fame shooters sitting on the bench.

(6) TEAM GEORGE H.W. BUSH: 1989-1992

PG: Gary Payton
SG: Tim Hardaway
SF: Glen Rice
PF: Toni Kukoč
C: Shaquille O’Neal

Bench: Shawn Kemp, Steve Smith, Larry Johnson, Alonzo Mourning, Dikembe Mutombo

Team strategy: The plan is simple: give Shaq the ball and surround him with players who can shoot and pass.

Payton and Hardaway can both run the offense, Rice stretches the floor, and Kukoč gives them a versatile forward who can create for others.

They could become more physical by adding Kemp or Mourning, although that would hurt the spacing. Payton would take the toughest guard assignment while Shaq, Mourning and Mutombo control the paint.

(5) TEAM BILL CLINTON: 1993-2000

PG: Steve Nash
SG: Kobe Bryant
SF: Tracy McGrady
PF: Dirk Nowitzki
C: Tim Duncan

Bench: Kevin Garnett, Jason Kidd, Ray Allen, Allen Iverson, Paul Pierce, Chris Webber, Vince Carter, Manu Ginóbili, Ben Wallace

Team strategy: Clinton may have the most balanced roster in the tournament.

Nash organizes the offense, Kobe and McGrady create shots, Dirk stretches the floor and Duncan anchors the defense.

They could replace Nash with Kidd if they needed more defense, use Garnett instead of Dirk, or bring in Ray Allen, Iverson, Pierce, Carter or Manu depending on the matchup.

Coach Clinton has a long history of scoring, but this team might actually be better at stopping other people from doing it.

(4) TEAM GEORGE W. BUSH: 2001-2008

PG: Chris Paul
SG: Dwyane Wade
SF: Kevin Durant
PF: LeBron James
C: Dwight Howard

Bench: Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, Pau Gasol, Amar’e Stoudemire, Yao Ming, Tony Parker, Brandon Roy, Rajon Rondo

Team strategy: This may be the best starting five in the tournament.

Paul controls the offense, Wade attacks the basket, Durant provides shooting, LeBron does everything and Dwight protects the rim.

They would be devastating in transition and could switch most actions defensively. The main concern is spacing when Wade, LeBron and Dwight all share the floor.

Bosh or Carmelo could come in whenever they needed more shooting.

(3) TEAM BARACK OBAMA: 2009-2016

PG: Stephen Curry
SG: James Harden
SF: Kawhi Leonard
PF: Giannis Antetokounmpo
C: Nikola Jokić

Bench: Jimmy Butler, Anthony Davis, Joel Embiid, Damian Lillard, Klay Thompson, Paul George, Kyrie Irving, Draymond Green, Rudy Gobert, Domantas Sabonis

Team strategy: This offense would be nearly impossible to defend.

Curry stretches the floor, Harden creates from the pick-and-roll, Jokić runs the offense from the middle, Giannis attacks open space and Kawhi takes the toughest wing assignment.

The bench gives them an answer for basically any situation. Davis, Embiid and Gobert can handle physical centers. Butler and George improve the perimeter defense. Klay, Lillard and Kyrie add even more shooting.

The main problem is deciding who actually plays. There is enough talent here to accidentally create bad lineups simply by trying to fit too many stars onto the floor.

(2) TEAM DONALD TRUMP: 2017-2020 and 2025-2026

PG: Shai Gilgeous-Alexander
SG: Luka Dončić
SF: Jayson Tatum
PF: Zion Williamson
C: Bam Adebayo

Bench: Anthony Edwards, Ja Morant, Donovan Mitchell, Trae Young, Tyrese Haliburton, De’Aaron Fox, LaMelo Ball, Cooper Flagg, Cameron Boozer, Darryn Peterson, AJ Dybantsa

Team strategy: Trump has more elite ball-handlers than he could possibly use.

Luka, SGA and Tatum can all run an offense. Zion provides interior scoring and Bam handles the defensive work.

The biggest issue would be getting everyone to accept smaller roles. Luka, SGA, Ja, Trae, Mitchell and Edwards are all used to controlling the ball.

The roster is also much deeper at guard than it is at center. The Luka-SGA-Tatum-Zion-Bam lineup probably gives them the best balance. I'm not sure the extent to which there would be a peaceful transfer of possession between all those ball dominant guards though.

(1) TEAM JOE BIDEN: 2021-2024

PG: Cade Cunningham
SG: Scottie Barnes
SF: Franz Wagner
PF: Evan Mobley
C: Victor Wembanyama

Bench: Alperen Şengün, Paolo Banchero, Chet Holmgren, Jalen Williams, Jalen Johnson, Amen Thompson, Jalen Green, Brandon Miller, Stephon Castle

Team strategy: Biden’s team is young, huge and versatile.

Cade would be the primary ball-handler, Barnes and Wagner would help create, and Mobley and Wemby would give them an absurdly long defensive frontcourt.

The main issue is shooting. A lot of the best players prefer operating inside the arc, and several of them have not reached their primes yet.

This roster would likely look much stronger five years from now.

Now for the simulation.

The 14 teams played every opponent six times, producing a 78-game season. The top eight made the playoffs, and every round was best-of-seven.

The regular-season standings were:

1. Reagan: 67-11
2. Obama: 59-19
3. Clinton: 58-20
4. George W. Bush: 50-28
5. Carter: 49-29
6. Trump: 46-32
7. Eisenhower: 43-35
8. Nixon: 42-36
9. George H.W. Bush: 35-43
10. Truman: 33-45
11. Ford: 22-56
12. Biden: 21-57
13. Johnson: 18-60
14. Kennedy: 3-75

Reagan was clearly the best regular-season team. They finished eight games ahead of Obama and had a point differential of +16.5.

Kennedy went 3-75 and was outscored by 17.5 points per game, so apparently the New Frontier did not include three-point shooting. LBJ's Great Society clearly didn't include offense either as they were horrific as well. George HW Bush says, "Read my lips, no easy layups", and just like his promise for no new taxes, the team's rim defense is disappointing.

Magic Johnson won MVP after averaging 18 points, 6 rebounds and 12 assists for Carter.

Michael Jordan won Defensive Player of the Year.

Karl Malone won Sixth Man of the Year because Reagan’s roster was so stacked that Karl Malone apparently wasn’t good enough to start.

The first round started with Reagan sweeping Nixon. The scores were 138-104, 117-84, 108-92 and 111-100.

Nixon’s army of centers and cheating skills had no answer for Reagan’s depth and shooting. I guess there was an 18 minute gap in their defensive game plan, especially in game 1.

George W. Bush beat Carter in five. Carter won Game 1, but Bush won the next four. Three of the games were decided by four points or fewer, but LeBron, Durant, Wade and Paul were better late in games.

Clinton swept Trump, and it was ugly. Trump didn't have Lamelo, but still.

Clinton had already gone 6-0 against Trump during the regular season. The sweep made them 10-0 against Trump overall. The Clinton name finally figured out how to beat Trump.

The average playoff margin was 32 points.

Obama beat Eisenhower in six.

Wilt averaged around 29 points, 8 rebounds and 4 blocks, while Bill Russell averaged nearly 5 blocks. Eisenhower tied the series 2-2 and briefly made Obama’s lack of physicality look like a serious issue.

Obama eventually adjusted and won the final two games.

In the semifinals, Reagan beat George W. Bush in five.

Bush stole Game 2, but Reagan won the next three by 19, 18 and 12 points. Jordan averaged 24 points and won series MVP.

Obama beat Clinton in six.

Obama won the first three games, Clinton won the next two, and Obama closed the series with a 121-111 victory.

That gave us the Finals matchup the standings had suggested all along: Reagan against Obama.

Reagan won Game 1, 115-90.

They won Game 2, 121-111, in a closer game.

However game 2 produced good news for Team Obama though as MJ is injured with a sore shoulder(out for 7 games, but he'll be back after 3, because by default, players play through 4 days of injuries in the playoffs)

Obama takes advantage with a 117-112 gritty comeback win to stay afloat in the series.

But team Reagan has them on the brink after a 123-111 win in game 4, led by 20 from Wilkins, and an efficient 15 each from Malone and Reggie on the bench.

Team Obama hang on for the series saving road win, 104-102, really 104-99(before a garbage time Barkley deep 3 with 2.5 seconds left), both teams shot horribly, 47.1 efg% for Obama, 43.8 efg% for Reagan.

MJ is back for game 6 on the road, playing thru the shoulder soreness.

But it doesn't matter as team Obama run away with it, it's 99-73 near the end of the 3rd quarter, but team Reagan make the loss run less ugly at 122-111, but David Robinson is out for the series a sprained ankle. He leaves with a 6/6/6 line 6 points, 6 rebounds 6 blocks on 2-6 from the field, Harden stars with 20/7/9

So, it comes down to a game 7, with team Obama coming back from down 3-1 in Reagan's home court.

Reagan won the first quarter 27–22 and the second 21–17, taking a 48–39 halftime lead.

Obama responded with a 38–30 third quarter, scoring only 1 less point in that quarter than they did in the first half.

Harden’s basket with 11:29 remaining gave Obama a 79–78 lead. It was Obama’s last lead of the series.

Reagan immediately responded:

Malone made two free throws. Mullin made consecutive baskets. Dominique Wilkins hit a three.

That was a 9–0 Reagan run, turning a one-point deficit into an 87–79 lead.

Reagan then extended the overall stretch to 20–8, taking a 98–87 lead with 5:39 remaining. That was the largest lead of the game. Obama fought hard from there though.

Obama eventually cut it to 108–104 with 1:51 remaining. Giannis then blocked Karl Malone and Clyde Drexler on consecutive Reagan possessions, giving Obama two legitimate opportunities:

Kawhi missed a three with 1:24 left.

Giannis drew a foul with 52.9 seconds left but missed both free throws in classic Giannis fashion.

Drexler then hit the dagger three, assisted by Jordan, with 34.5 seconds remaining.

Obama went 5/33 from three, once again a team doing their best impression of the 2018 WCF game 7. Obama’s players outside Harden, Kawhi and Lillard went a combined 0/18 from three. Curry was 0/6. Jokić, Embiid and Giannis were 0/8. Butler and Davis were 0/4. Once again, Harden can't win the championship. This time, despite 22 on 7-15 from field, 6 assists, 5 turnovers, 5 fouls, he was blocked 4 times, and was a disgusting -18 in a 7 point loss in 37 minutes. So -18 in 37 minutes vs +11 in the 11 minutes he was off. Yikes.

Karl Malone won Finals MVP after averaging 15.7 points and shooting 29-30 from the free-throw line.

So the same player won Sixth Man of the Year and Finals MVP.

He was not good enough to start but was apparently good enough to win finals MVP, which is hilarious.

The final result (my power rankings):

1. Reagan
2. Obama
3. Clinton
4. George W. Bush
5. Carter
6. Eisenhower
7. Trump
8. Nixon
9. George H.W. Bush
10. Truman
11. Ford
12. Biden
13. Johnson
14. Kennedy

I put Eisenhower over Trump despite Trump having the better regular-season record because Eisenhower pushed Obama to six games, while Trump got swept by Clinton by an average of 32 points.

Link to the means of simulation, https://play.basketball-gm.com/, by the GOAT u/dumbmatter

What is this?

Now that it’s officially the All Star break, I thought I’d share a fun side project I’ve been doing: storing and analyzing every single submission and comment posted on r/NBA during this season.

It’s a good way to practice data stuff, but it’s also neat because it lets me answer questions like:

• Which fan bases are most common on here? Which fans comment the most, swear the most, complain about refs the most, etc?
• Which players and teams are talked about the most? Which ones are the most beloved, which are the most hated?
• What users on here most desperately need to touch grass (besides me)?

So far, I have collected 1,641,342 total comments from 14,423 posts, starting from 12PM midnight on 10/21/2025 (the day of the opening game) and continuing on through midnight of last night (when my data collection setup ran last). If you’re curious, I collected the data using the Python Reddit API wrapper PRAW, I stored the data in a Postgres database, and I did most of the actual analysis with R. Also, I already did this for r/CFB, so you can check that out too if you’re also a college football fan.

I haven’t had time to sift through all of it yet, but now that I have a large chunk of data to work with and there’s no basketball to watch, I thought I’d share a “flair census” to celebrate the ASB: this is a breakdown of every user who has posted on r/NBA so far this season by their primary flair, i.e. what team they’re a fan of. This should finally give us some quantitative, empirical evidence that there are simply too many Lakers fans.

Results: Team Flairs

How many people are in each fanbase on here?

I started by cleaning the flairs up a bit to make sure I’m capturing each team’s entire fanbase:

• I combined the various different versions of each team’s flairs together.
• If your flair is “[CLE] Kyrie Irving”, I counted you as a Cavs fan, since you went out of your way to use the “[CLE]” tagged one.
• If your flair is just “Kyrie Irving”, however, I counted you as a Mavs fan, since that’s who he currently / most recently plays for. This is one of the few parts of this process I did by hand, so there might be a few mistakes.
• If your flair is anything else – a country massively I then calculated A) the total number of unique users / comments, and B) some fun summary statistics to tell us more about each fanbase.

Let’s start with the 30 actual current NBA teams, ranked by total users:

Chart versions:

• Chart: total users per team fanbase
• Chart: total comments per team fanbase
• Chart: comments per user, by team fanbase

Observations:

• There are, in fact, a lot of Lakers fans! Over 5,000 of them in fact, which is over 2,000 more than any other fanbase. I would be really curious to be able to compare this to previous years, to see if there was a big spike when LeBron / Luka arrived, but it was not a surprise at all to see them at the top of the list.

• I am also not shocked to see the Warriors, Celtics, and Knicks near the top. The Raptors are the first real surprise here to me – I guess they just get a bump from being the default team of Canadians? I also think it’s funny that their #1 poster is named “heat fan”.

• The Spurs / Thunder rivalry continues even here, with the Spurs taking the edge in fanbase size but the Thunder winning in comments per user. The Spurs’ engagement numbers are actually the second highest at 27.42 comments per user, but OKC is #1 by a huge margin – they’re posting at rates more than double those of some other teams, enough to actually put them at #2 when it comes to total comments in the dataset.

• Looking at the bottom of the list we see the pits of despair, i.e. the teams with nothing fun to talk about these days. Shoutout to the Kings fans for still showing up this season, and condolences to the Jazz fans for… yeah.

We can also see the average comment score, % of comments downvoted, number of words per comment, swear rate, and ref complaint rate of each fanbase. This should give us some insight into how good each fanbase is at posting (or at least how r/NBA feels about them).

• Thunder fans’ comments have the lowest avg. scores by a pretty big margin, while Pelicans fans have the highest. There definitely seems to be a “fewer comments total = higher average score” effect happening, judging by the bottom of the list. But the Thunder are also the clear #1 in downvote rate (i.e. comments with scores < 1), so I think we can safely say OKC is the most frowned upon fanbase this season. I, for one, am shocked!
• Memphis fans write the longest comments and swear the least – nerd alert??
• Lakers fans, Thunder fans, and Suns fans claim the top 3 spots in swear rate, with 0.7%ish of the words in their comments being some form of profanity. Great work!
• I also searched for comments complaining about the refs – this is a very basic regex search, so if you wrote “I love the refs, they’re doing a great job and that was a valid whistle” it would still get flagged, but it works pretty well. Judging by this metric, the Clippers, Wizards, and Pels do the least complaining about the refs (what have they really had to complain about tbf), while the Timberwolves (Chris Finch just reported this post to the mods for pointing it out), Suns, and Blazers do the most.
• Soon, I am hoping to be able to break this down by game thread too, like “what specific games or what team’s games feature the most complaining about the refs?”

You can also see the user from each fanbase who has made the most comments thus far. Y’all should either feel very proud of yourselves, or maybe take this as a sign to go caress some grass, your choice. If you feel bad about the number of reddit comments you made, just remember that at least you’re not me, a guy who has a database full of other peoples’ reddit comments. It could be worse.

What about the other flairs?

I also ran these same numbers for the flairs that aren’t a real NBA team – mostly countries like “Slovenia”, or defunct teams like “Supersonics” or “Bullets”. Here is the top 10 of that list:

• Unflaired users have made over half a million comments so far, damn! There’s a lot of these guys.
  • You can also use their numbers as a kind of low baseline – for example, unflaired users were downvoted under a score of 1 around 15% of the time, which is worse than almost every actual NBA team flair. The only exception is Thunder fans: their number was 16.7%.
• There are actually more “Supersonics” and “NBA” flairs than there are Wizards, Magic, Clippers, Grizzlies, Hornets, Nets, Pelicans, or Jazz flairs. I found this very surprising, but I guess both are used to mean “I like the NBA but I don’t care about any particular team”? Or maybe there really are just that many embittered Seattle NBA fans on here. Adam Silver if you’re seeing this, it’s even more evidence to support bringing them back. The data doesn’t lie!
• Slovenia is the most common country flair by a pretty big margin, for obvious reasons. The rarest country flairs are Turkey and the Czech Republic, which each have just two users.

I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading! I am working on a few more little writeups of this data, which I will hopefully also have time to post during the ASB or the offseason. If you have any suggestions / requests, I’d love to hear them!

Preview for the next installment:

I am crunching the numbers on [Highlight] posts to figure out what specific players get the most attention on here, and which are the most beloved / controversial (by finding the average upvote ratios, scores, etc).

• Can you guess which two players from the Western conference are massively controversial outliers, with lots of highlights posted but very low scores / upvote ratios? Tune in next time to find out who they are!

It’s massively, constantly overstated how stacked the Celtics were. But let’s get to that later.

Part One: Before Russell, the Celtics were a terrible defensive team with a core backcourt that had been together for years without playoff success. With Russell, they were winning almost exclusively because of their defense.
At times, they were incorrectly labeled as a good offensive team as well because they played at the fastest pace and scored a good number of points. They were not.

There’s an enormous amount of evidence that they were dependent on Russell to have a great or even good defense, and that they were almost solely dependent on their defense to be a great team.

They were not a good offensive team, at all. It just didn’t matter. At times in the 60s they were mischaracterized as such (https://time.com/archive/6809200/sport-basketballs-best-2/) because they had the highest pace so still scored a decent number of points, but they were above average in estimated points per possession scored in the regular season once in 13 regular seasons (1967).

They were last in 1961, 1963 and 1964. Those were all dominant championship teams.

The explanation for how is pretty simple. Before Russell, the Celtics had been sixth of eight, 8th of 10, eighth of nine, and eighth of eight in estimated points allowed per 100 possessions over the previous four seasons with Cousy and Sharman.

With Russell, they were first in the league in 12 of 13 seasons, and they got better in the playoffs. That transformation was immediate, and always, Russell was the common denominator on all of their great defensive teams.

In terms of points allowed per possession relative to the league, they still have the five most dominant regular seasons ever from 1961-1965. In 1964, they allowed roughly 11 points per 100 possessions less than the league average, a record in an era where fewer points were scored per possession, making significant variance even more valuable.

That, and the general rule of thumb with Russell is that if he had a close elimination game, or an elimination game at all, he won https://np.reddit.com/r/nbadiscussion/comments/l81nrp/bill_russell_famously_went_210_in_winnertakeall/

It just so happens that leading up to Boston, Russell was the centerpiece on an unheralded college team that went on to win 55 straight and two national championships to finish his career, and the Olympic team with the highest average margin of victory ever, just ahead of 1992.

The Celtics were a first round exit the year before Russell got there. Star backcourt Bob Cousy and Bill Sharman had played together for five years, they had won two playoff series in total alongside a different Hall of Fame center, they struggled when Russell was hurt, they won 11 championships in 13 years with him, and then they missed the playoffs twice in a row after he retired despite drafting two hall of famers.

They were bad defensively before him and immediately after he retired, and no team has ever come close to recapturing the same heights.

Part two: The depth of superstar talent the Celtics had has often been framed in ridiculous ways. Let’s talk about Russell’s frequently cited “12 hall of fame teammates”.

For whatever reason, when talking about the 60s Celtics, fans tend to factor in the number of teams to account for the difficulty of winning championships, but not for the concentration of talent on one team. Russell had closer to five HOF teammate performances in a league that was roughly 1/4 to 1/2 the size of today’s.

Tier one: The Stars you think of with the Celtics dynasty
Cousy/Sharman backcourt:

Cousy was the best point guard in the big-man dominated 1950s, snagging an MVP in Russell’s first year (where Russell missed the first 1/3 of the season winning the Olympics). Sharman was also one of the best guards in the 50s. The two made a formidable backcourt on paper, but won two playoff series in five years together.
When they got Russell, they transformed from below average defensively to still the most dominant statistical defensive team ever, and that turned them into a championship team.
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/c/cousybo01.html
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/s/sharmbi01.html

John Havlicek:
Probably the best player Russell ever played with, even though all of their best years didn’t overlap. Havlicek started playing half-way through Russell’s career, was a true star by the end of it.
He missed the playoffs the two years after Russell won his 11th title and retired, but would go on to win two more titles with another HOF big man in Dave Cowens 5 and 7 years later.
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/h/havlijo01.html

Sam Jones:

A little raw coming out of college, improved and worked his way into becoming a 5x all-star and 3x All-NBA. Very clutch player.

Would have not been a perfect leading offensive man in a league with single digit teams, but the teams for which he was the first option are statistically the very best defensively in league history. During that period, the Celtics were often near or at the bottom of the league in offensive efficiency while winning championships.
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/j/jonessa01.html

Tommy Heinsohn:

Tommy is a legend of the game not just for his play on the court. As a player, he was a 6x all-star. Was he a top player in the league?

I don’t really know. He is still the all-time leader in shots attempted per minute, and he bricked a ton of 20 foot hook shots, especially late in his career. But accolades-wise, even forgetting about all of the rings, he’s a Hall of Famer.
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/h/heinsto01.html

Tier 2: Everyone else

Bailey Howell:
This and the next two is sort of an in between half tier. By the time he got to Boston he was 30 - 30 looked a whole lot different in the 1960s. Bill Russell was legitimately arguably the longevity GOAT at the time of his retirement after 13 seasons.
Howell made one all-star appearance on the Celtics (his first year) and was key to improving their offense in his three years spent with Russell. Not known as a defensive player. At the time that Russell retired, he fell off hard and fast.
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/h/howelba01.html
KC Jones and Frank Ramsey:
Jones was known as an elite defensive guard and OK offensive player.
Frank Ramsey was a pioneer of the sixth man that finished fourth on the team in minutes, was really good at it, and had one randomly great finals performance.
Neither were ever all-stars. Both are in the Hall largely because Russell led them to a huge number of titles.
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/j/joneskc01.html
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/r/ramsefr01.html
Tier 2/3: Deep backup/ring chasing tier
This stat is carried by washed up early 50s stars at the end of their career, who at that point were mediocre to bad NBA players.
Clyde Lovelette:
Easily the best in this tier, averaged 6 points in limited minutes in Boston. Was a backup the last two years of his career.
As an aside, was also known as a racist. Was rumored to call Wilt the N word during Wilt’s rookie year, and his final moment in the league was getting knocked out by a Wilt punch in the 1964 Finals. Wilt was not ejected.
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/l/lovelcl01.html
Andy Phillip:
Averaged 3.9 points and 2.5 assists in Boston, but had been a 5x all-star earlier in his career.
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/p/phillan01.html
Arnie Risen:
Accounted for the Kings only championship in 1951, but was a backup in Boston before Russell got there. Shot 33% from the field in his last of two years with Russell, 23% in the playoffs.
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/r/risenar01.html
Carl Braun:
Spent his last year in Boston, averaged 3 points in eight minutes. Had averaged 5 on one of the league’s worst teams the year before. https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/b/braunca01.html

Part 3: Russell’s era: Modern fan descriptions of 1960s basketball are often 20-30 years out of date. A golden era at the center position in the 60s is often badly mischaracterized, and the NBA is said to have developed from pre-historic to modern in a nonsensical time frame.

It goes without saying that the standard of NBA basketball has slowly improved over time. But first, let’s address some of the least factual arguments. The average NBA player was listed as two inches shorter than the current NBA at the start of Russell’s career, and one inch shorter by the midpoint. https://www.basketball-reference.com/leagues/NBA_stats_per_game.html

Notably, though, they were consistently measured without shoes, and their heights weren’t rounded up. Russell was 6’9 5/8, and at the time he was listed at 6’9. Jerry West would be the tallest current 6’3 NBA guard by about two inches. Any difference in height at that time is extremely marginal.

If you played for the Detroit Pistons at center in the mid 1960s, you would go up against one of Russell (self explanatory), Chamberlain (same), Willis Reed (won every award there was to win during Kareem’s age 23, rookie of the year season), Nate Thurmond (elite defender who past his prime shut down 26-year-old Kareem in the 1973 playoffs), Jerry Lucas (legendary college player, 3x All-NBA first playing PF and Center) Walt Bellamy (elite offensive big), and Zelmo Beaty (two top three ABA MVP finishes in the 70s, ABA Finals MVP) virtually every night.

The Pistons had a guy who was supposed to be talented, but really just robbed stores and threatened to murder his teammates https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/h/hardire01.html

I use Kareem as an example, because it’s the easiest one to make to convey the overall point. It’s a fairly common viewpoint online for NBA fans to rank Kareem top three all-time, and Russell much lower, even out of the top ten.

In my opinion, this is not a viewpoint that holds up to any logical scrutiny.

When Kareem came into the league at 22, Russell was 36, had bad knees after a career playing 40+ minutes every night, almost every game, in converse. At the time, nobody had really played longer.

And Russell had just led his team to their 11th championship months earlier, taking down 3 54+ win teams with an aging core, including the three-headed monster of Chamberlain, West and Baylor, and the same Knicks core that won the title in 1970.

After Russell retired (in fairness along with Sam Jones, who was partially replaced by Jo Jo White) the Celtics went from champs to the fourth worst team out of 14. In the immediate aftermath, they went from one of the best defensive teams in league history to below average.

Considering, the idea that Russell could not have dominated the NBA if he had come into the league at the same time as Kareem is pretty silly.

Even with a massive talent exodus to the ABA starting in the 1970 draft particularly at center (Mel Daniels, Artis Gilmore, Spencer Haywood, Zelmo Beaty), Kareem won one championship in the decade (from age 22-32) directly after Russell won nine. Russell often had to win only two playoff series in a year to win a championship - Kareem did that twice. In six years without a top three all-time point guard, Kareem won two playoff series and missed the playoffs twice (once with injuries being a factor).

The idea that Russell is not a true all-time great because of his era, but Kareem was depends on the idea that the NBA essentially transformed overnight, even while it was getting less popular, and the NBA started losing more and more talent to another league.

The MVPs of the 1980s all won championships in that decade aside from Michael Jordan (1988). They came into the league one, three, five, ten and ten years after an old Russell led and coached his team simultaneously to his 11th championship, had the highest MVP finish for a last year player ever, and retired.

TLDR: This was basically multiple write ups compiled into one, arguing against what I see as dramatic mischaracterizations of the most dominant dynasty in the sport’s history, and of Russell’s career. I figured I might as well throw them together.

If it’s understandably too long, the bolded section titles and the one or two italicized paragraphs get you half of the way there.

A favorite pastime of nba subreddit users is to debate a player's Hall of Fame credentials, be it Al Horford, DeMar DeRozan, Draymond Green, Devin Booker or Rudy Gobert. I wanted to figure out exactly how many Hall of Famers play in a given year, and whether this research can help inform some users of the competition that Player Z might face in their bid to be enshrined.

Some graphs showing the number of Basketball Hall of Famers playing in the ABA/NBA, as well as the number of first seasons/final seasons. Here's a link to a Google Sheet, as well as GitHub!

Some notes:

1. The player pool I chose was male Basketball Hall of Famers who were inducted as players and have NBA/ABA statistics on Basketball-Reference (so no Sherryl Swoopes, Red Auerbach or Nikos Galis)
2. There was a boom in HOFers from 1968-1977 because both the ABA and NBA were still up and running.
3. Reasons for dips in between years usually are that HOFers taking that season off (Magic w/AIDs HIV [thank you to traps79 for the correction!], Grant Hill w/leg injury, etc)

Excluding the past 10 years, the average amount of Hall of Famers in a season from 1947-2016 is 30. To be objective, I chose 90% HOF probability as a clean cut-off for locks, both inactive and active. This gives us an initial group of 13 active players: LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Chris Paul, Stephen Curry, James Harden, Russell Westbrook, Anthony Davis, Giannis Antetokounmpo, Nikola Jokic, Damian Lillard, Paul George, Kyrie Irving & Kawhi Leonard. This also gives us 1 interesting inactive "future" HOFer in Larry Foust, an eight-time All-Star centre from the 1950s. Given it's been so long, he's probably not getting in, but for the sake of this exercise, he's a Hall of Famer!

(As an aside, the point of this post is NOT "Why didn’t you include Player X as a lock?". The HOF probability formula on Basketball-Reference is "based solely on NBA accomplishments and statistical output", and supposed to answer the question “If this player retired today, what is the probability he would be elected to the Hall of Fame?” Also, it is only presented for those who have a minimum of 400 NBA games played.)

Back on topic: with 13 active locks, that leaves 17 open spots (including up to 2 rookies). These are my picks (grouped in case similarity, but not in order).

(Full disclosure: I've done this exercise 5 years ago, and my most egregious miss was Rui Hachimura, who I chose as a rookie. I thought he would have a solid NBA career, but his HOF candidacy would hinge on outstanding international accolades.If this means I lose all credibility and you stop reading, so be it.)

• Dray & Klay (integral parts of dynasty)
• Luka & Trae (high wattage offensive superstars, destined to remain linked)
• Embiid & Wemby (dominant, but health issues are a major concern)
• Kyle Lowry (bulldog, greatest in their franchise history)
• Kevin Love (similar case to Chris Bosh – pile up stats on bad to mediocre teams, link up with LeBron and third-wheel to at least one championship)
• Jimmy Butler (analytic darling and absolute playoff animal)
• KAT (generational shooting bigman)
• Rudy Gobert (defensive first center w/multiple DPOY)
• Jayson Tatum (consistent greatness, and now has his ring)
• Anthony Edwards (potential American face of the next generation)
• Shai Gilgeous-Alexander (just concluded one of the greatest seasons ever, with no signs of slowing down)
• Donovan Mitchell (a number 1 option since he entered the league, but teams haven't gotten as far in the playoffs as expected)

Last 10 Out:

• Jaylen Brown, Jalen Williams & Pascal Siakam (genuine number 2s on title teams)
• Jalen Brunson (as a small guard, can he withstand wear-and-tear to sustain excellence?)
• Devin Booker& DeMar DeRozan (prolific scorers)
• Tyrese Haliburton (in the John Stockton mold as a pass-first point guard)
• Ja Morant (are the off-court issues behind him?)
• Jaren Jackson Jr & Evan Mobley (young defensive stalwarts each with a DPOY to their name)

Thanks for reading! I do hope this shows how much of a mountain players have to climb to be in HOF consideration, and I hope y’all enjoyed the post!

TL;DR

There are an average of 30 future Hall of Famers playing in a given NBA season. On average, 2 FHOF are in their first season and 2 FHOF are in their final season. Given 13 “locks” (LeBron, KD, CP3, Steph, Harden, Russ, AD, Giannis, Jokic, Dame, PG, Kyrie & Kawhi), who could comprise the Sweet 17 joining them?

Here are my picks! I’ve placed them in alphabetical order. Who are yours?

Anthony Edwards, Damian Lillard, Donovan Mitchell, Draymond Green, Jayson Tatum, Jimmy Butler, Joel Embiid, Karl-Anthony Towns, Kevin Love, Klay Thompson, Kyle Lowry, Luka Doncic, Rudy Gobert, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Trae Young, Victor Wembanyama

Edit: thanks to grudgepacker, slugman22, scarystuffdoc, Separate_Teacher1526 & weezerben for noticing that I had Dame listed as a pick despite him being a lock! (relic of the past post)

Last 10 Out:

DeMar DeRozan, Devin Booker, Evan Mobley, Ja Morant, Jaylen Brown, Jalen Brunson, Jalen Williams, Jaren Jackson Jr, Pascal Siakam, Tyrese Haliburton

TL;DR: LeBron James has played 1,622 regular-season games without ever recording exactly 27 points, 7 rebounds, and 7 assists. Running the probability analysis gives an estimated 20% chance of making it this far without one.

LeBron has now played 23 NBA seasons.

His career averages are:

26.8 points, 7.5 rebounds, 7.4 assists

Yet in 1,622 regular-season games, he has never finished with exactly:

27 points, 7 rebounds and 7 assists.

The original version of this analysis, after the 2017-18 season, estimated a 31.87% chance that LeBron would make it that far without one.

Source: https://np.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/96hp4p/oc_lebron_has_averaged_2777_for_15_years_why/

Eight seasons later, he still has zero.

So I decided to do an update

The model

Points, rebounds, and assists are correlated, so you can't just calculate:

P(27 points) × P(7 rebounds) × P(7 assists)

Instead, like the original analysis, I fit a separate multivariate normal distribution for each season using LeBron's points, rebounds, and assists.

An exact 27-7-7 is treated as the range of:

• 26.5 to 27.5 points
• 6.5 to 7.5 rebounds
• 6.5 to 7.5 assists

For each season, the model estimates the probability p of one game landing in that box.

If LeBron plays G games, then:

Chance of no 27-7-7 that season = (1 - p)^G

Then you multiply those season probabilities across his career.

Here are the result:

So after 23 seasons:

Chance LeBron would still have zero 27-7-7 games: 20.3%

Or roughly:

1 in 5.

Is this actually a statistical anomaly?

Not really, 20% isn't really that low, it's still surprising though. And now that he's on the 6ers, it's unlikely he'll be able to/need to consistently score enough to be able to get a 27/7/7 game.

All of us, and the NBA, know that NFL is the ratings king. With Patrick Mahomes playing the number 1 seed Philadelphia Eagles, it was going to going to attract a lot of people. So it was no surprise that the Super Bowl averaged 113 million viewers this Sunday according to Nielsens TV ratings agency.

However it was still astounding for me to see that all 6 NBA games of the 2022 finals combined (86.81 million viewers) would not even come close to a single Super Bowl viewership. We’d have to go all the way back to Lebron vs. the Warriors duels in 2017 to reach this number.

LaMelo Ball's numbers might not jump off the page, he's playing a modest amount of minutes (27.6mpg) and putting up 19ppg, 7.5apg on slightly inefficient shooting splits, but the Hornets have never felt a greater impact from his play than this year. Just about every player in the rotation is seeing a sizeable increase in scoring efficiency due to his abilities as a floor general (and Charlotte's lack of one when he goes to the bench)

The highlights:

• Rookie Kon Knueppel's shooting numbers are simply hilarious when paired with LaMelo. it's a sample size of 822 minutes. He's still good without LaMelo, but like... normal good. Jokic is currently shooting 0.1 TS% better than that .702 figure.

• Brandon Miller sees an enormous jump in his shooting at the rim. This tracks, as Miller is pretty terrible at creating his own offense towards the rim and LaMelo finds him a lot for lobs and other easy looks. He's the only rotation player that doesn't shoot better from 3 with Melo on the floor, and this could easily be noise.

• Miles Bridges should basically never play without a floor general. Unsurprisingly Diabate also relies on Melo pretty heavily.

• Collin Sexton should have shared the floor more with LaMelo prior to the trade. The sample size is likely not large enough to be statistically significant, but the eye test showed that pairing was potent at times due to Sexton's rim pressure, and that Sexton was struggling running the second unit in Charlotte.

• Salaun and Green definitely do not have enough shots to get anything meaningful... but Green does look a bit better when he isn't asked to do anything but catch and shoot open shots from the corner... and LaMelo is the one guy that does that consistently. Kalkbrenner's role of scoring only on the easiest shots at the rim doesn't change much.

All stats sourced from https://databallr.com/StatLineShift

^{Table formatting by ExcelToReddit}

Now 34 years old, Blake Griffin is having trouble landing a job in free agency. If he does sign somewhere, it'll likely be in a reserve role. Last season for the Celtics, he played a total of 569 minutes in the regular season and only 6 minutes in the playoffs.

If Griffin's career ends with a whimper or a blurb buried at the bottom of ESPN, it'll be understating the impact of a player who had a major (albeit brief) influence on the league.

PART ONE: Instant Impact On the Court

Playing for his local University of Oklahoma, Blake Griffin had a strong freshman year. He averaged 14.7 points (on 56.8% from the field) and 9.1 rebounds. The consensus from NBA scouts was that Griffin was a likely top lottery pick, and could have presumably climbed into the top 5-6 with strong workouts.

However, Griffin must have felt there was still some work to do and still some upside on the table. He wasn't getting quite the national attention or draft respect he thought he may deserve, so he made the unconventional decision to return to college for his sophomore year. And there, Griffin removed all doubts that he had star potential. He put up monster numbers (22.7 points, 14.4 rebounds) and led the Sooners to a 30-6 record and an Elite Eight appearance. He was named the National Player of the Year and became the obvious # 1 pick in the draft.

Griffin got injured and missed his first year for the L.A. Clippers, setting up a highly-anticipated "rookie" season the following year. Griffin delivered -- and then some. That first year, Griffin averaged 22.5 points, 12.1 rebounds (a career high), and 3.8 assists. He was not only named as the easy "Rookie of the Year," but he actually made the All-Star team and got on an MVP ballot -- finishing 10th overall.

Based on stats and accolades alone, you can argue that Blake Griffin had the best rookie season of the 2000s and perhaps the best since Tim Duncan.

PART TWO: Instant Impact Off the Court

More impressive still, Blake Griffin did all that for the Clippers. It may be hard for younger NBA fans to understand how rotten the franchise had been at the time. The name "Clippers" was synonymous with "sucks ass." Since re-branding as the Clippers in 1978, the franchise made the playoffs 4 times. In 32 years. They were run by the deplorable and racist owner Donald Sterling, whose stink rotted the entire organization. At the time, the Clippers were the worst brand in the NBA.

That really did change with the arrival and optimism of Blake Griffin's prowess. Griffin became a star, and the fortunes turned for the franchise. The next year, the team traded for Chris Paul. Presumably, Paul wouldn't have agreed to join the team without a promising talent like Griffin on the roster. Two years later, the team hired Doc Rivers, whose stock was at an all-time high after his successful run with the Boston Celtics. Again, the idea that the Clippers could lure in a star coach would have been unthinkable a few years prior.

Thanks to Griffin (and Chris Paul, whose statistical impact can't be over-stated either), the Clippers went on an unprecedented run of success for the franchise. They won 50+ games five years in a row. And while that didn't result in an NBA Finals appearance, it did change the perception about the franchise. That only cemented a few years later, when Sterling was forced out and Steve Ballmer jumped in to provide stability (and deep pockets) to the team.

Right now, you'd put the Clippers into the "glamor market" tier -- a place where superstars may actually want to play. There are a variety of reasons why, but Blake Griffin's initial success did set the table for a lot of it. For that reason, his career goes behind numbers and W-L records and ranks as one of the most impactful in the broader NBA landscape.

PART THREE: An Underrated Skill Set

When I suggest that Blake Griffin's career may be misunderstood or underrated, it's in regard to his actual basketball skill. There's a perception that Griffin came into the league as an "athlete." A dunker. In fact, his most defining basketball moment may have been his Dunk Contest win. And then, when he started to suffer injuries, he started to evolve his game to fit his declining athleticism.

That's not wholly true. The truth is, Griffin was always an underrated playmaker. He had great handles for his size and position and a good passing instinct. That's illustrated by his 3.8 assists as a rookie -- but also during the times when he was allowed to fully showcase his skill set.

When Chris Paul came to the team (in Griffin's second year) and took over the primary ballhandling duties, Griffin didn't always get the opportunity to show his full "bag." When he did take that alpha dog role, he shined. In 2013-14, CP3 missed 20 games due to injury, and Griffin responded with a career year and finished 3rd in MVP voting.

We also saw that play out in 2018-19 after Griffin had lost a step and ended up in Detroit. It's largely a forgotten period in his career, but Griffin did have a brief standout stretch for the Pistons. That season, he averaged 24.5 points and 5.4 assists and helped a mediocre Detroit team make the playoffs.

These numbers -- a big averaging 4/5/6 assists -- don't really jump off the page in the modern NBA where we can see Nikola Jokic putting up 30/10/10 every night -- but they represent one of the better playmaking numbers for the PF position during that era.

PART FOUR: A Whole Bunch of Hypotheticals

While Blake Griffin had a great NBA career and a good amount of team success with the Clippers, you can't help but wonder if they could have done more as a group together. "What if?"

Maybe the team simply wasn't good enough. Maybe they'd never have won a title. But you can squint and see potential room for improvement from the club.

A lot of that is injury related, but I would say some of it was due to human error as well. The Clippers had a well-rounded starting four -- PG Chris Paul, SG J.J. Redick, PF Blake Griffin, and C DeAndre Jordan -- with an obvious hole in the middle at SF. It's a riddle that they were never quite able to solve as Matt Barnes started to age and decline.

The Clippers had some chances to fill it, but didn't take advantage. They cut Joe Ingles in training camp -- a heady well-rounded player that would have fit perfectly. They marginalized and traded a young Reggie Bullock -- another player who could have fit well as a 3+D wing.

Instead of taking a chance and developing young talent, Doc Rivers (as he's inclined to do) tapped the well of overrated and over-aged players instead. In Rivers' first year on the job as the coach and primary GM, he brought in a slew of over-the-hill veterans: Danny Granger (who was cooked by then), Big Baby Davis (same), Hedo Turkoglu (age 34), Stephen Jackson (age 35), and Antawn Jamison (age 37). All five of those players were out of the league by the end of the following year.

Rather than learn his lesson, Rivers kept striking out instead. He made the wrong choice repeatedly, falling back on old loyalties and biases rather than what was plainly in front of him. He over-played (and overpaid) his own son Austin Rivers as a result of that. But perhaps the epitome of Rivers' front office failures was the Clippers decision to bring in Paul Pierce (then age 38) at the tail end of his career. Sadly, it wasn't with the intention of using Pierce as a veteran mentor: it was with the intention of playing him minutes. At that age, Pierce wasn't up to the task. He shot 36.3% from the field and looked unplayable. Rather than realize that, Rivers started Pierce for 38 games. Somehow, the Clippers still won 51 games that year.

You do wonder what the Clippers could have been if they had a more competent coach in charge (or at least, had taken away Doc Rivers' personnel power earlier).

PART FIVE: Cruel Fate and Cruel Fists

It'd be incomplete to write about Blake Griffin's career and not mention the long list of injuries that's plagued him throughout. We can't blame that on Doc Rivers.

(Well, maybe we can, if you factor in that the Clippers overplayed Griffin early in his career. Like Zion Williamson, he's a power player who plays with a lot of intensity, and requires a lighter touch than other stars).

Still, Griffin got hurt a lot and that may have been bound to happen regardless. We can also blame him specifically for the injury when he fractured his hand after punching a trainer.

There's also some "inevitability" to Griffin's limited career when you consider his body type. He's a thick guy, but he has a limited wingspan (at 6'11"). When you're not very long, you're going to be limited as a shot blocker regardless of your athleticism. We saw that play out in his NBA career -- where he's only averaged 0.5 blocks per game -- and we're seeing that play out with Zion Williamson in New Orleans now.

If Griffin was a little taller or longer, teams would have been able to play him more often as a smallball "big" (which they probably should have done anyway). The one area where Griffin did adjust his game to fit his declining athleticism was by shooting more threes -- and he did that reasonably well -- but he couldn't overcome his lack of length in the same way. (He also got better at comedy!, going from a little overexposed early to solid comedic performer at the Comedy Central roasts).

TL; DR

Overall, it'll be interesting to see how history remembers the career of Blake Griffin (if this is indeed the end for him). As mentioned, he had an oversized impact for his franchise early on, then eventually got derailed by injuries.

In terms of basketball, is he going to be a Hall of Famer? That's TBD. He's a six-time All-Star, but never made the Finals and never won MVP. Basketball-reference lists his Hall of Fame probability at 54.8%, which may be optimistic.

Still, I'd maintain that Blake Griffin had one of the most impactful, underrated, misunderstood, and infuriating careers in our era for a variety of reasons.

When we talk about accolades for NBA players, there are always a few key items on the checklist: All-Star trips, All-NBA berths, MVPs, etc. But one rules them all: rings.

The mad quest for gold has led players on journeys all across the map. Are they trying to win out of a competitive spirit? To shut up critics and trolls? To earn glory that will last a lifetime? Obviously that has worked from time to time, but other times the effort feels a little empty -- even in success. Perhaps your team was TOO good (like Kevin Durant), or you weren't the MAIN star on the team, or your opponent got injured.

It's also fair to say that winning a ring isn't all that unusual. If my math checks out, a team wins a title every year. That makes 75 years of NBA champions -- 65 years of MVP (which started in 1956) -- 53 years of Finals MVP (which started in 1969). It's an exclusive club -- especially when you consider repeats -- but it's a growing one.

In contrast, there's a prestigious club that will grow more slowly. A basketball honor that we don't discuss very often. That is: being the greatest player in your franchise's history.

Perhaps the fact that we don't discuss that topic very often devalues the concept and contributes to a culture of team swapping and ring chasing. If we valued the Team GOAT as a badge of honor, perhaps players would stick around more often and build their legacy at home.

Of course, there's no easy way to define a Team GOAT. There's subjectivity involved in terms of what criteria you use and what accolades you value the most. Then again, when has subjectivity ever stopped us from debating player rankings before?

Interested in that topic, I wanted to go through the league and review each team's GOAT, and debate whether a current player has a chance of grabbing that mantle. An important note of distinction here: we're not talking about the best player to ever weigh a team's uniform -- we're rankings these players contributions on THAT team and that team only, as if their other years didn't exist.

Rather than give specific percentage odds for each, we'll group them into a few tiers. Locks or Near Locks (defined as over an 80% chance), Likely (somewhere in between 50-80% chance), Possible (somewhere in between 25-50%), Unlikely (5-25%), and Almost No Chance (less than 5%).

TEAM GOAT DISCUSSIONS

ATLANTA. For this exercise, we're going to lean heavily on total "win shares" with the team, which is conveniently listed on basketball-reference's team pages. Using that as our default ranking, two candidates emerge: Bob Pettit (136 win shares, mostly when the team was in St. Louis) and Dominque Wilkins (107 WS). Pettit may be harder to beat than young fans realize; he was an All-Star in each of his 11 seasons, and he won MVP twice. In fact, he cracked the top 5 in MVP voting on 8 separate occasions. Even more notably, he led the team to their only NBA championship. That's an incredible resume that's going to be tough for Trae Young to beat. Young can best Pettit in longevity and total points, but he's probably going to need to win multiple titles to get this more nuanced honor. We'll call this one unlikely. If the Hawks can reconfigure their roster and get back to contender status, then perhaps this ups back into "possible."

BOSTON. Like Trae Young, Jayson Tatum benefits from a "one-and-done" era where he can jump to the NBA and start putting up numbers immediately. He's in his 5th season right now and he's still only 23 years old. Averaging about 6.5-7 wins shares per year, he can potentially crack 100. That said, this isn't a franchise that's graded by win shares. They win titles. Whether you want to call their GOAT Bill Russell (164 WS, 11 titles, 5 MVPs) or Larry Bird (146 WS, 3 titles, 3 MVPs), there's almost no chance that Tatum rises to the top of this ladder.

BROOKLYN. Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving surprised a lot of people when they chose to go to the Nets, a team without much of a storied history. Perhaps they were anticipating this post. After all, there's a wide open lane here. "Dr. J" Julius Erving led the Nets to two ABA titles, and Jason Kidd led the team to two NBA Finals, but neither stayed with the franchise long. Erving lasted 3 seasons, Kidd only 6.5. As a result, the team's leader in win shares is Buck Williams with 63. Going forward, the question will be: how long can Kevin Durant (age 33) last? How many titles can he rack up in the meantime? The longevity won't be on his side, but winning a couple of titles may be a realistic goal presuming this team can be healthy at the right time. Despite all the injury issues, they're still the Vegas favorite this season. Given that, Durant or James Harden may be possible Team GOATS. Then again, it's "possible" the team isn't healthy down the stretch and blows it up entirely this summer.

CHARLOTTE. Even if we include the old Charlotte Hornets' history here, this is another franchise with a relatively open lane to GOAT. In over 30+ years, they've never even reached the Conference Finals. Kemba Walker leads the way with 48.5 win shares, which is an attainable goal for young LaMelo Ball. Ball snagged 2.8 as a rookie, and is on pace to double that this season. If he can play 10 years with the franchise, he'll likely become their GOAT. Will he actually stay in Charlotte that long? It's TBD, so let's call this one possible as well.

CHICAGO. Super scorer Zach LaVine has proven a lot of skeptics wrong, but he'd need to clone himself a few times to come close to Michael Jordan (205 WS, 6 titles, 5 MVPS). Our scale only goes as low as almost no chance, and this certainly qualifies.

CLEVELAND. The Cavs are in a similar boat here. Young studs Darius Garland and Evan Mobley both have awesome futures, but there’s a difference between awesome and immortal. Almost no chance they can surpass the iconic achievements of LeBron James here.

DALLAS. LaMelo Ball is chasing Kemba Walker in Charlotte, but Luka Doncic has a much higher bar here in Dirk Nowitzki. Thanks in part to his incredible longevity and loyalty, Nowitzki racked up 206 win shares with the team in addition to an MVP and NBA title. The win shares will be tough. Luka's career high is 8.8, so even if he gets to 10 a year, he'll need to rattle off 15+ years of peak performance. Going for multiple MVPs or multiple championships may be the easier path here. Can Luka win more than 1 of each? I wouldn't say that it's likely, but it's definitely possible. Dallas doesn't look like a title contender yet, but there's plenty of time for the kid (still age 22.)

DENVER. The international takeover continues. At the moment, the franchise leaders in win shares are Dan Issel (95) and Alex English (84). However, there's a Serbian freight train behind them that's about to run them off the road. Jokic has racked up an incredible 71 win shares in his career despite being only 26. He had 15.5 last season alone. Even if you think advanced stats are too kind to the Joker, he can make up for it with his MVP trophy, which neither Issel nor English have. As long as Jokic plays a few more seasons, he's a near lock to grab the GOAT status here.

DETROIT. After a slow start, # 1 pick Cade Cunningham is heating up and looking the part of a future All-Star. He also takes pride in his leadership abilities and may be the type of player to stick around for 10+ years. In terms of win shares, that may put him in play over franchise leader Bill Laimbeer (98 WS). In terms of legacy, he still will be unlikely to pass Isiah Thomas, who racked up 2 titles and 11 All-Star appearances. That's nothing against Cunningham -- it's just friggin' hard to win multiple championships.

GOLDEN STATE. It's hard to win multiple championships -- it's hard to be a Team GOAT. But at the moment, we have one player who has already done it. Steph Curry has recently passed over Wilt Chamberlain in total win shares for the team -- 117 to 114 (Chamberlain didn't play his entire career with them). Add in the fact that Curry won 2 MVPs and 3 titles and his overall impact on the game, and he could retire tomorrow as the greatest Warrior of all time. He's our first official lock.

HOUSTON. Perhaps Damian Lillard should take note, because James Harden essentially waved the white flag on his quest for Team GOAT with his trade demand last year. If he had stuck around, perhaps Harden (115 WS) could have challenged Hakeem Olajuwon (160) for the top spot. That said, matching Olajuwon and winning two titles would have been much more difficult. Looking forward, is there any chance Jalen Green or Alperen Sengun could threaten Olajuwon? Theoretically, sure, but realistically let's call this almost no chance.

INDIANA. Although he never got over the hump, Reggie Miller (174 WS) has a comfortable stranglehold on his team's GOAT. It's looking less and less likely -- almost no chance -- that a current team star like Domatas Sabonis could challenge him. Sabonis has made 2 All-Stars in his 5 years with the team, but his 30 win shares are a loooong way away from Miller. And according to some rumors, Sabonis may not be here much longer.

L.A. CLIPPERS. We have an opening, table 12. The Clippers have existed for over 50 seasons in some form or another, but they never won a title. Their best player ever is probably Chris Paul (team high 78 WS), but he only played 6 seasons with the franchise. Current stars Kawhi Leonard and Paul George may have trouble matching that, but they have a decent shot to win a title if they both come back healthy next year. To Clippers fans, I'd presume that's more meaningful than CP3's good-but-not-great "Lob City" era. Let's call it possible.

L.A. LAKERS. LeBron James already won a title in L.A. and could potentially win more, but he has almost no chance to beat local legends like Kobe Bryant (team high 173 WS, 5 titles, 1 MVP) or Magic Johnson (156 WS, 5 titles, 3 MVPs.) Remember, we're only talking about their contributions on this particular team.

MEMPHIS. The Grizzlies don't have the type of history as the Lakers do, which puts this franchise in play. The best right now would probably be Marc Gasol (77 WS). But while Gasol had one DPOY, the rest of his resume is a little light for a Team GOAT -- he only made 3 All-Star teams and never finished higher than 8th in MVP voting. Given that, Ja Morant's ascension is certainly possible. Heck, he's on target to finish in the top 8 in MVP this season. If he stays healthy and sticks around Memphis for his whole career, he'll likely best Gasol in WS. Of course, the real key may be whether his squad can make a Finals appearance (the Grit n' Grind teams peaked in the Conference Finals.)

MIAMI. Prime LeBron James was the best player in franchise history, but in terms of career accomplishments it'd have to be Dwyane Wade (116 WS, 3 titles.) Jimmy Butler arrived too late to challenge that, and Bam Adebayo doesn't have the type of game that's going to put him in MVP races. I'd suggest there's almost no chance either can challenge Wade here.

MILWAUKEE. So far, we've given one Team GOAT to Steph Curry, and presumed Nikola Jokic is on the verge of cracking that in Denver. The same applies here to Giannis Antetokounmpo, whom I'll call another near lock. I don't think he officially has it yet though. Although Kareem Abdul-Jabbar only played 6 years for the franchise, he holds a lead over Giannis in win shares 115 to 81. Giannis should be able to pass him in a couple of years though and end all debates about Team GOAT status (again, career value, not prime value.)

MINNESOTA. The Timberwolves have never won a title or even made the Finals in their 33-year history, but Kevin Garnett still feels like he's locked into the top spot as a beloved Team GOAT. He racked up 140 win shares, 10 All-Star trips, and 1 MVP by the time he left for Boston. In theory, Karl-Anthony Towns may be able to challenge the win shares if he sticks around (he's about halfway there at 61 right now), but I don't know if he has enough of a two-way game to supplant Garnett in the minds of fans. A title would do it, but that's more unlikely than realistic.

NEW ORLEANS. If we count all versions dating back to 2002, then Chris Paul is going to grab his second Team GOAT here (as he leads the team with 76 win shares and came closest to winning MVP.) It's a beatable total, but can it be beaten by Zion Williamson or Brandon Ingram? If fully healthy, Williamson would have a great chance. He recorded 8.7 win shares in just 61 games last season. But can we expect Williamson to play 6-7 years at an elite level? And stay with this franchise for that whole time? That combo may be unlikely right now. Meanwhile, Ingram only has about 13 win shares in his 3 seasons, so I'm not sure he has enough upside to crack the top spot either.

N.Y. KNICKS. Right now, I'd give the nod to Patrick Ewing (team high 123 WS) despite the fact that he never won the title. Of the current crop, you'd presume a young player like R.J. Barrett may have the best chance if he improves and plays 10+ years with the team. Still, does he have it in him to beat Ewing and his 11 All-Star trips? It's between an "unlikely" and an almost no chance to me, so I'll lean to the latter.

OKLAHOMA CITY. If you include the Sonics history, then Gary Payton (124 WS) holds the lead over Kevin Durant (108 WS) and Russell Westbrook (97 WS). It's possible that young Shai Gilgeous-Alexander beats them in terms of longevity with the team, but there's almost no chance he can match their peak production and start winning MVPS. Keep grabbing those lottery balls, Sam Presti, because you may need another all-timer to get back to the Finals.

ORLANDO. Shaquille O'Neal only played 4 seasons with Orlando, so he trails Dwight Howard by a large margin in terms of win shares (88 to 48, respectively.) Younger fans may forget just how good Dwight Howard was in his day -- he cracked the top 5 in MVP voting in four separate seasons. I don't see any of the young Magic threatening that, so we'll give this one an almost no chance as well.

PHILADELPHIA. Julius Erving is probably the most iconic 76er of all time, but if we base it on resume alone it may be hard to argue against Dolph Schayes. Back when the team was the Syracuse Nationals, Schayes led them to an NBA title and made 11 All-Star teams in the process. He also leads Erving in total win shares, 142 to 106. Current star Joel Embiid has a long way to go to reach that company. Given his durability problems, he's only reached 36 win shares -- a total that doesn't even crack the team's top 12 yet. He can probably make an argument if he wins multiple MVPs or multiple titles, but that's an unlikely combination. Of course, if Daryl Morey can pull in a haul for Ben Simmons at the deadline then we may have to rethink that.

PHOENIX. Technically the team's leader in win shares is Shawn Marion with 93, but I'd say that either Steve Nash (83 WS) or Charles Barkley (44 WS) would be Team GOAT based on peak performance. I don't think there's much chance that Devin Booker is going to challenge for MVPs in the same way -- he's already in his 7th season and he's never cracked an All-NBA team yet. His advanced stats have never been great either, so he's only gotten up to 25.3 win shares so far. Still, it's possible that he can work his way into Team GOAT discussions in another way. The Suns haven't won a title in their 54-year history. If Booker can help make that happen -- and have a long, Reggie Miller-ish career -- then I think he'd be considered the franchise's GOAT.

PORTLAND. The inspiration for this post, Damian Lillard may have to sacrifice his chances to be Team GOAT if he never plays for the Trail Blazers again. In terms of peak performance, the best Blazer of all time is Bill Walton (who won the title and then MVP), but Walton only played 4 years for the franchise. In terms of career performance, Lillard is chasing Clyde Drexler. Drexler racked up 109 win shares (to Lillard's 95), 8 All-Star appearances (to Lillard's 6), and 2 Finals appearance (to Lillard's 0.) Where Lillard can make up for that deficit is longevity. Drexler left the team at age 32, while Lillard is still there (for now) at age 31. If he stays loyal and sticks around for 3-4 more years, he's likely to be considered their best ever.

SACRAMENTO. The "Sacramento Kings" don't have an illustrious history, but this franchise has been around the mill (first as the Rochester Royals, then Cincinnati Royals, then Kansas City Kings, then Sacramento Kings.) If we include all that history, there's almost no chance that De'Aaron Fox can surpass the individual greatness of Oscar Robertson (154 win shares.)

SAN ANTONIO. Ditto here. There are 5 San Antonio Spurs with 100+ win shares, led by Tim Duncan (206 WS) and David Robinson (179 WS.) When you factor in the titles to boot, then there's almost no chance that any of these young Spurs can reach those heights.

TORONTO. Kawhi Leonard was the face of the championship, but I suspect most Toronto fans would consider Kyle Lowry (75 win shares) their greatest player in whole. Lowry "only" played 9 years for the team, so it's possible that a young stud like Scottie Barnes can surpass that and surpass the win share total. Can he match Lowry's 6 All-Star trips and NBA title? That's somewhere between possible and unlikely. Barnes' all-around game doesn't lend itself to gaudy numbers and All-Star votes, but it's too hard to count out a rookie who's been this good.

UTAH. The Utah Jazz are good enough to contend for a title either this year or next. But even with that, I don't think anyone would consider Donovan Mitchell or Rudy Gobert on par with the freakish durability and longevity of Karl Malone (230 win shares) or John Stockton (208 WS). It'd probably take 2-3 titles for Gobert (third in franchise history with 82 WS) to take the mantle, and that falls into the almost no chance category.

WASHINGTON. Current star Bradley Beal has officially surpassed his old buddy John Wall on the win shares list (49 to 44), but he's still got some ways to go before he matches all-time leader Wes Unseld (110 WS.) Unseld also won an MVP and NBA trophy. The Beal Fan Club is formally petitioning for us to switch to "total points" though, because he's likely to catch franchise leader Elvin Hayes if he sticks around for next year (Hayes has 15,551, Beal 14,119.) Overall, it's hard to see the seeds of a title contending team here so we'll call this unlikely.

With the regular season approaching I wanted to hit the subreddit up with some last second (peak?) off-season content that I've been working on for the better part of a couple years. Ya know, before we're all lost to the vacuum of hot takes and clips of Ja Morant yamming it over Wemby and Edey at the same time.

Here's a quick rundown of the project and shout out to the mods for letting me throw this up here.

• 17 Pokémon types (Fire, Water, Electric, etc.) were reimagined as basketball play styles like Heat Check, Flow, and Highlight.
• The 6 Pokémon attributes (HP, Atk, Def, Special Atk, Special Def, and Speed) were reimagined as basketball skills/attributes (Health, Inside O, Inside D, Perimeter O, Perimeter D, and…Speed).
• Each of the new corresponding play styles and attributes were then defined by using a ton of camera tracking data and advanced metrics to create unique profiles that players could fit into depending on their own individual stats from a dataset of around the last ~7 seasons.
• All active NBA players and their associated data were then run through a sorting algorithm that showed how similar their own play style was to the newly defined Okaymon type play styles.
• These players were then put through a second sorting algorithm that matched them to which of the original 151 Pokémon they are most similar to based on their peak play of the past ~7 seasons and corresponding types/play styles and attributes/skills.
• After each player was matched to a Pokémon the list was cut down to the strongest matches, with some creative liberties being taken to break a few ties.
• Concepts for what each player would look like if they became characters in this game world were written up and I was able to connect with some extremely talented illustrators to help bring those designs to life.
• A game is no good without a soundtrack either.

That's the short of it and I'll be putting up a much more thorough rundown of how all of that was done and what went into it in the next few days, but in the meantime, I hope this is fun to scroll through at work or at class for everyone today and I'll answer any questions about any part of it if there are any.

If you have ever had the chance to watch a basketball game on TNT, you might have caught yourself as glued to the half-time show as the actual game. NBA on TNT is one of the best sports broadcasts hosted by some of the boldest personalities on TV: Shaquille O’Neil, Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, and of course… Charles Barkley. 

There are no subjects off limits and no quarter is given. But there is one topic that never fails to elicit strong consternation from Ernie despite roars of laughter from Shaq— Charles Barkley’s bit about the Big ol Women™ of San Antonio. If you haven’t seen it, here’s one of the best supercuts to catch you up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7GPuudYY5k

As you can see, Chuck is fascinated with San Antonio — well, with the women and churros of San Antonio at least. He brings up the subject so often that simply googling “San Antonio Women” yields almost exclusively articles and clips of Barkley & Co. discussing the virtues of San Antonio churros, the Big ‘ol Women™ who eat them, and the city’s curious lack of Victoria’s Secret stores.

From his time as a player, to his current career as a broadcaster, Barkley is infamous for never minding his tongue. When it comes to making Shaq and the production crew keel over with laughter, it’s clear he has no plans to change his humorous tone, no matter how much Ernie scorns him.

But did you ever wonder why… Why is Chuck so fixated on the Big ol Women™ of San Antonio and their unique pastry/ lingerie inclinations?

Is there something more behind the man’s obsession?

So began my search to understand the enigma that is Charles Wade Barkley…

​

The Research

I started out by attempting to confirm or refute Barkley’s suspicions… 

• Does San Antonio have a lot of Big ol Women™? 
• Is Victoria really a “Secret” in San Antonio?, and
• How do fried Spanish pastries play into this whole thing?

Well let’s break it down one-by-one…

San Antonio’s Big ol Women™

I compared obesity rates for every NBA city to determine if there is any merit to Chuck’s claim that San Antonio has an abundance of plus-sized ladies…

As it turns out, he is right on point. According to my analysis of a 2018 CDC report, San Antonio is the 4th chunkiest city in the NBA with more than 37% of adults registering as “clinically obese”. And with over half of San Antonians identifying as female, it’s safe to say the city does have a lot of Big ol Women™.

Interesting side note: San Antonio isn’t just one of the fattest cities in the nation, they also have a distinct love for the rolls (pun intended). Per my research, San Antonio ranks #2 in the country for most google searches for “BBW”, which is of course the porn abbreviation for Big Beautiful Women. Not sure the significance of this fact, or how I came upon this information, but thought it was worth mentioning.

How many of these searches belong to Chuck himself? No small amount, I can assure you.

“Who’s Victoria?” — San Antonio

Using Victoria’s Secret store locator, I compiled the total number of store locations in each NBA city. Then, using 2016 U.S. Census Bureau statistics, I appended the populations for each city and calculated the amount of Victoria’s Secret stores per capita.

Again, Chuck’s intuition was spot-on! The city of San Antonio has the 4th fewest number of Victoria’s Secret stores per capita of all NBA cities (bottom 89th percentile).

I guess it’s safe to conclude, Victoria really is a secret in San Antonio.

The author contacted Victoria’s Secret Public Relations prior to publishing this article but they chose not to comment on this story.

How do fried Spanish pastries play into this?

Tremendously, that’s how.

I literally spent over three hours immersed in “churro data”. Admittedly, one of those hours was a lunchtime run to “Angel’s Churros & Chocolates” in Houston, TX — shout out to Maria for hooking it up with the Nutella on the side!

Using cutting-edge scientific research tools, I determined the number of churro vendors per capita in each NBA city. Okay, I googled that shit. I figured counting Mexican restaurants in general would be super misleading so I quantified specifically the number of churro vendors in each NBA city using the following criteria: Performed the google search “[CITY] Churros” (e.g., “San Antonio Churros”) and counted the amount of vendors with explicit references to “Churro” in the name. I accepted various spellings and puns (e.g., “xurros”, or “Churroholic”, etc).

Well Mr. Barkley’s hunch was right again… San Antonio has the 4th most Churro-Vendors per capita in the NBA (top ~90th percentile). Have to admit, though, I did not expect to see Salt Lake City rank so high on this list. Considering the strip club rankings, I might actually have to make a trip to the ‘great white west’… 

​

We have to give credit to Chuck here; he certainly knows his stuff! But for a man who disavows data science, it begs the question, how does he know so much about the Alamo city?

​

The Analysis

With my suspicions on the rise, I dug deeper into the data. And the more I dug, the more it smelled… *sniff* and I love the smell of cinnamon and projection in the morning. So what is Mr. Barkley hiding? Well, I analyzed his career performance in San Antonio to see if there is more to the story.

Charles Barkley has an impressive resume: two-time Olympic gold medalist, 11-time NBA All Star, 1993 Most Valuable Player, and an esteemed member of the NBA hall of fame. He went by the intimidating moniker, Round Mound of Rebound. He is, indubitably, one of the greatest ballers of all time. But, just like all the greats, he had a weakness…

​

‘The Biggest Loser’

Between the years 1983–1998, Barkley played 19 games in San Antonio. He won just 4 of them. With his career road-win percentage at nearly .500, and considering the other damning stats laid out below, his .211 win rate in San Antonio falls soundly in the "curious" column.

• Career Road W/L Record: 259–276 (.484 win%)
• San Antonio W/L Record: 4–15 (.211 win%)

Now I don’t want to mislead you, San Antonio were no schmucks during this period and, obviously, basketball is a team sport. But Barkley carries most of the water: he was a generational talent and the stand-out star on most of his teams (aside from a couple years with a washed up Julius Erving and an aging Moses Malone in Philly and a couple with near-retirement Hakeem in Houston). But the following analysis should help further make my case.

​

‘My -25% Life’

San Antonio proved to be a blight on Barkley’s esteemed career. My analysis showed significant declines in almost every statistical category examined:

• GmSc — Averaged a -25% variance in Game Score in SA compared to career avg
• ORB — Averaged a -11% variance in Offensive Rebounds in SA as compared to career avg
• FT% — Averaged a -9% variance in FT shooting efficiency in SA as compared to career avg
• FG% — Averaged a -2% variance in shooting efficiency in SA as compared to career avg
• AST — Averaged a -6% variance in Assists in SA as compared to career avg

Note: GmSc (Game Score) is a John Hollinger-created stat that gives a comprehensive measure of a player’s productivity. Formula: GmSc=PTS+(0.4\FG)–(0.7*FGA)–[0.4*(FTA-FT)]+(0.7*ORB)+(0.3*DRB)+STL+(0.7*AST)+(0.7*BLK)–(0.4*PF)-TOV*

Here’s what the analysis looks like:

You can see the heat map to the left is covered in red. Red cells indicate negative variances, meaning: for that year, Barkley’s average in San Antonio was below his Season Average. Of the 112 total data points examined (8 stats x 14 seasons), Barkley under-performed against the season average 62% of the time.

Heat maps are great but I needed to visualize the data in a way that better depicts the scale of Chuck’s drop in performance. I used a clustered column chart because it gives the best visual representation of relative performance, as you can easily identify the +/- trends (Graphs for Dummies: larger/more frequent lines on BOTTOM = BAD; larger/more frequent lines on TOP = GOOD). 

​

These huge performance declines are damning. But what do they truly tell us?

​

Conclusion

Well, if you’ve been following along, things should be starting to make sense. A picture has formed… how could a man who so ardently rebukes data science, know things about San Antonio that only the data can tell us?

Every Great had their weakness. MJ couldn’t stop gambling. Shaq couldn’t hit free throws. Magic couldn’t keep it in his pants. Kobe never saw a shot he didn’t like. LeBron, hairline.

For Charles Barkley, it was an entire city. The plus-sized women of San Antonio and their delectable Spanish pastries were the Round Mound’s kryptonite. And it appears he never got over it. A career of indulgence in the Alamo City has left him bitter with regret.

The Chuckster has used his platform on TNT to — not very credibly — disguise his own predilections for the amenities of San Antonio. Without stretching the facts too far, we can paint a vivid picture of Barkley’s own struggle. Imagine: a perpetual Big-and-Tall man since roughly the age of 12 (guessing) and a basketball phenom would have become accustomed to night-after-night by himself with nothing but his appetite and a sense that — thanks to his coaches — he deserved to be rewarded. That he was a good boy. Another city, another game, another 4-star hotel room to himself (another sold-out show, as it were).

The excitement of seeing San Antonio on the schedule brings tears to the man’s eyes. He knows what awaits him and purposefully forgets what happened before…

Barkley, awaken by the morning sun’s blistering reflection off the San Antonio R̶i̶v̶e̶r̶ Creek, sees the debris and refuse from an all-night binge. He did it again. Churro wrappers crinkling beneath his weight, cinnamon sugar coating the corners of his mouth and fingers alike, and a familiar wave of anxiety that tends to come after relapse. As his memory from the prior night returns, he glances around the room with a vain hopefulness that he did not ‘fall’ alone. He was relieved to learn that, in fact, he was not alone in the previous night’s debasement. Positioned heavily — nay, crushingly — on the duvet is a Big ol Woman™ sporting a handsome pair of bloomers. Her voluminous mass reassuring him — no, beckoning him — to forgive himself for his indiscretions. It wasn’t just him after all. But he knew exactly what he had done. In a rush to forget, he licked the crusted cinnamon from his lips, quietly donned his game day attire and snuck out to meet his teammates in the lobby.

But his mind would never leave that hotel room.

It is through painting this portrait of a man both conflicted and passionate (aren’t we all) that we can better understand the system of associations that have led Barkley to betray his own naked psychology for all the world to jeer at. And yet, can we blame the man? Are we not all, on some level, looking for someone to share in our appetites? Whether it be for the occasional night of plus-size women and churros, or too many designer handbags; everyone has a vice. Unfortunately, from years of shame for letting down his teammates and coaches, Chuck has betrayed the very thing that he loves. 

That’s why I’m here to tell him, myself: Stop Projecting, Mr. Barkley.

In 2020, the decade of proclaimed ass-eating, there is no shame. It’s okay to stan for Big ol Women™. In fact, it’s great.

​

Check out all my work here

Thank you mods for letting me post this off-season content during the all star break!

Jordan had a 9.34% TOV rate with a 33.26% usage.

• Jordan somehow has the 39th best TOV% of all-time when he has the #1 usage all time

• Almost no other "GOAT" cracks the top 250 in TOV%!!! Not Magic, Bird, LeBron, Kareem, Kevin Durant, Shaq, Wilt, or Stephen Curry! Impressively, Kobe is #159 and Duncan barely makes it at #247

• Jordan has the lowest TOV% of ANY player averaging 4.0 assists per game or more (minimum 500 games played); interestingly, Jimmy Butler used to be #1 here until the past few seasons

• Jordan had 14 40-point games with 0 turnovers. No one else has had more than 6.

EDIT: Here are the links for this data:

https://www.basketball-reference.com/leaders/tov_pct_career.html

https://www.basketball-reference.com/leaders/usg_pct_career.html

Source: bballref

I like to watch NBA highlights with my kid, and I noticed that he has started calling LeBron James "Uncle Bron." I have no idea where it comes from, but I think it's kind of cute. It made me wonder what he would call the other players named to the 2019 All-Star teams.

The following is the results of that study. The spelling... I don't know, I tried my best.

Team LeBron

Team Giannis

What do you guys think? Has my kid stumbled onto the alter-egos of some of the NBA's biggest stars? Or have I just wasted an hour writing and figuring out how to format this thing?

Edit: Thanks for all the kind words, and the gilds! I will let the lad know how much he brightened some folks' days here on r/NBA :)

Edit 2: The process for creating this list was that I said each name and asked him to repeat it back. Sometimes I asked him to repeat it more than once if it was hard to understand.

In Steph's first NBA game after a Panthers win, he shoots 42.3% from three.

After a Panthers loss?

35.2%.

That's a 7.1 percentage-point difference, and it's statistically significant (p = .013).

The Warriors also win 76.8% of Steph's games after Panthers wins compared with 56.4% after Panthers losses.

Source for Steph's panther fandom: https://www.nba.com/news/the-athletic-how-the-currys-carolina-panthers-fandom-became-a-family-affair

Background

Steph Curry isn't just a casual Panthers fan.

He grew up in Charlotte, attended Panthers games during their inaugural 1995 season, and has described himself as a lifelong fan. In 2025, Curry said he tries not to miss Panthers games.

During last season, Curry interrupted his pregame workout to watch a Panthers game against San Francisco. Warriors staff have reportedly noticed how closely he follows Carolina when Panthers and Warriors games happen on the same day. The same report described Curry looking visibly disappointed before a Warriors game following a Panthers loss.

Methodology

I collected Curry's regular-season game logs from his rookie season in 2009-10 through 2025-26 and matched them against Carolina Panthers regular-season results from the corresponding NFL seasons.

For every Panthers regular-season game, I found Steph's first NBA regular-season game afterward, provided:

• Curry played within the next seven days
• the NBA game occurred on a later calendar date
• the Panthers game did not end in a tie

I excluded same-day games because without incorporating exact NFL and NBA finishing times, I couldn't guarantee Steph knew the Panthers result before playing.

This produced:

• 69 Curry games after Panthers wins
• 78 Curry games after Panthers losses

Each Panthers game appears only once in this analysis.

Results

The Warriors are also MUCH more likely to win on top of Steph Shooting better.

When Steph's previous Panthers game was a victory, Golden State won:

53 of 69 games: 76.8%

Following Panthers losses:

44 of 78 games: 56.4%

That's a 20.4 percentage-point gap.

Fisher's exact test gives p = .014.

Furthermore, take 2015:

The Panthers went 15-1 in 2015.

The Warriors went 73-9 in 2015-16.

Steph won unanimous MVP. What are the chances that both teams had their best regular season in the same year?

So, If you are a Warriors fan, you better pray Bryce Young has a good season this year...

Draymond Green - he's green

John Wall - he's a wall

Derrick Rose - he's a rose

Jimmy Butler - he's a butler

Steph Curry - he's curry

Larry Bird - he's a bird

Devin Booker - he's a book

Kevin Durant - he's Durant

side note I am available as a graphic designer

edit: bonus James Wiseman - he's a wise man

I made an update post yesterday about the best players to never win an MVP, and it sparked a fun conversation - https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/1qia5xy/oc_greatest_players_to_never_win_an_mvp_updated/

In that post, u/jayswag96 asked for me to come up with something similar for the best players to have never won a championship, so I gave it a shot. There's no better way to pass the time than arbitrarily assigning points to a player's career achievements!

Take the list with a big grain of salt. It's not perfect, and the point system is probably flawed, but I think it strikes a decent balance and weighs more important achievements adequately. I decided to omit points for All Star game appearances or leading statistical categories because I feel like end of season awards are a more accurate representation of how a player did and how they were valued. I also merged All Defensive appearances to one category instead of splitting them.

Ultimately, what this list is presenting is the 32 most decorated players to have never won a Championship - you can debate "Best" in the comments.

Point System:

• MVP = 35 points
• Top 5 MVP voting = 20 points
• Top 10 MVP voting = 12 points
• 1st Team All-NBA = 20 points
• 2nd Team All-NBA = 12 points
• 3rd Team All-NBA = 8 points
• DPOY = 12 points
• All-Defensive Teams = 6 points

I feel like this makes sense? MVP is worth by far the most, and being top 5 in MVP or top 10 matches up more or less with First Team and Second Team All-NBA, because more often than not the top 10 MVP candidates will be populating the First and Second All-NBA teams....usually (looking at you Nate Thurmond...). As for DPOY and All-Defense, I think they're obviously important, but not at the same level of First Team All-NBA.

The players on this list are composed of some players from yesterday's list, along with MVP winners that did not win championships and other decorated players that made the cut of the top 32 (there was a three-way tie for 30th place). Tiebreakers were decided by who achieved the highest accolade or more of them.

32nd Lamarcus Aldridge

Award Points = 84

• Top 10 MVP = 3x
• 2nd Team = 2x
• 3rd Team = 3x

31st Blake Griffin

Award Points = 84

• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 1x
• 2nd Team = 3x
• 3rd Team = 2x

30th David Thompson

Award Points = 84

• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 2x
• 1st Team = 2x

29th Carmelo Anthony

Award Points = 88

• Top 5 = 1x
• Top 10 = 1x
• 2nd Team = 2x
• 3rd Team = 4x

28th Mark Price

Award Points = 92

• Top 10 MVP = 4x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 3rd Team = 3x

27th Bernard King

Award Points = 92

• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 1x
• 1st Team = 2x
• 2nd Team = 1x
• 3rd Team = 1x

26th Jimmy Butler

Award Points = 98

• Top 10 MVP = 2x
• 2nd Team = 1x
• 3rd Team = 4x
• All Defense = 5x

25th Nate Thurmond

Award Points = 98

• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 4x
• All Defense = 5x

24th Dave Bing

Award Points = 104

• Top 5 MVP = 2x
• Top 10 MVP = 1x
• 1st Team = 2x
• 2nd Team = 1x

23rd Tim Hardaway Sr.

Award Points = 108

• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 2x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 2nd Team = 1x
• 3rd Team = 3x

22nd Amar'e Stoudemire

Award Points = 116

• Top 10 MVP = 4x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 2nd Team = 4x

21st Paul George

Award Points = 116

• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 1x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 3rd Team = 5x
• All Defense = 4x

20th Grant Hill

Award Points = 124

• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 4x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 2nd Team = 3x

19th Chris Webber

Award Points = 132

• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 4x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 2nd Team = 3x
• 3rd Team = 1x

18th Rudy Gobert

Award Points = 144

• Top 10 MVP = 1x
• 2nd Team = 1x
• 3rd Team = 3x
• DPOY = 4x
• All Defense = 8x

17th Damian Lillard

Award Points = 152

• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 4x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 2nd Team = 4x
• 3rd Team = 2x

16th Dominique Wilkins

Award Points = 168

• Top 5 MVP = 3x
• Top 10 MVP = 2x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 2nd Team = 4x
• 3rd Team = 1x

15th Joel Embiid

Award Points = 173

• MVP = 1x
• Top 5 MVP = 2x
• Top 10 MVP = 1x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 2nd Team = 4x
• All Defense = 3x

14th Tracy McGrady

Award Points = 180

• Top 5 MVP = 2x
• Top 10 MVP = 4x
• 1st Team = 2x
• 2nd Team = 3x
• 3rd Team = 2x

13th Luka Doncic

Award Points = 184

• Top 5 MVP = 3x
• Top 10 MVP = 2x
• 1st Team = 5x

12th Sidney Moncrief

Award Points = 190

• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 4x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 2nd Team = 4x
• DPOY = 2x
• All Defense = 5x

11th John Stockton

Award Points = 226

• Top 10 MVP = 5x
• 1st Team = 2x
• 2nd Team = 6x
• 3rd Team = 3x
• All Defense = 5x

10th Steve Nash

Award Points = 226

• MVP = 2x
• Top 5 MVP = 1x
• Top 10 MVP = 3x
• 1st Team = 3x
• 2nd Team = 2x
• 3rd Team = 2x

9th Allen Iverson

Award Points = 227

• MVP = 1x
• Top 5 MVP = 2x
• Top 10 MVP = 4x
• 1st Team = 3x
• 2nd Team = 3x
• 3rd Team = 1x

8th George Gervin

Award Points = 228

• Top 5 MVP = 4x
• Top 10 MVP = 2x
• 1st Team = 5x
• 2nd Team = 2x

7th Russell Westbrook

Award Points = 235

• MVP = 1x
• Top 5 MVP = 3x
• Top 10 MVP = 2x
• 1st Team = 2x
• 2nd Team = 5x
• 3rd Team = 2x

6th Patrick Ewing

Award Points = 242

• Top 5 MVP = 6x
• Top 10 MVP = 1x
• 1st Team = 1x
• 2nd Team = 6x
• All Defense = 3x

5th James Harden

Award Points = 307

• MVP = 1x
• Top 5 MVP = 5x
• Top 10 MVP = 3x
• 1st Team = 6x
• 3rd Team = 2x

4th Charles Barkley

Award Points = 323

• MVP = 1x
• Top 5 MVP = 3x
• Top 10 MVP = 5x
• 1st Team = 5x
• 2nd Team = 5x
• 3rd Team = 1x

3rd Elgin Baylor 🥉

Award Points = 352

• Top 5 MVP = 7x
• Top 10 MVP = 1x
• 1st Team = 10x

2nd Chris Paul 🥈

Award Points = 370

• Top 5 MVP = 5x
• Top 10 MVP = 5x
• 1st Team = 4x
• 2nd Team = 5x
• 3rd Team = 2x
• All Defense = 9x

1st Karl Malone 🥇

Award Points = 546

• MVP = 2x
• Top 5 MVP = 7x
• Top 10 MVP = 5x
• 1st Team = 11x
• 2nd Team = 2x
• 3rd Team = 1x
• All Defense = 4x

Fuck Karl Malone.

Thanks for reading!

EDIT:

Barkley has been moved to 4th - He has three Top 5 MVP finishes, not two.

Thank you u/Moe-Blacks-Brother for catching the error.

One of the most unappetizing developments in the NBA is LeBron James’ recent obsession with Taco Tuesdays. And I’m not talking about the broader issue of cultural appropriation or his sad attempt to trademark the phrase. I’m talking about how the King’s curious obsession with eating tacos on Tuesdays, has led to him eating Ls on the box score.

Almost every culture has a kind of taco. The Greeks have gyros. The French have crepes. Italians have calzones. Americans have Taco Bell. Folding dough around a medley of meat and veggies is a food concept as old as time. And while everyone enjoys tacos, some of us are more fanatic than others…

Enter El Reye, LeBron James.

<LeBron James Taco Tuesday Video>

The man’s awkward passion for Taco Tuesday tends to evoke mixed reactions: anywhere between smiling at the heartwarming dad vibes and a literal whole-body cringe. And I won’t deny, as a proper Houstonian who takes his tacos very seriously, I was suspicious when I first heard grumblings of the Ohio-native’s weekly affair. So, I looked to the numbers to see if there is more to this meat-and-cheese filled story.

“It’s just like Taco Tuesdays. It’s a (expletive) thing.”

Before biting into the data, I needed to pinpoint the origins of James’ taco-bsession (taco-obsession, hehe). After an exhaustive multi-minute googling sesh, the earliest observance I could find is this Instagram story from August 2018.

Just a few weeks later we got further confirmation of LeBron’s enthusiasm for weekday alliteration-themed occasions during a post-practice Q&A. His fervent response to the media’s questions about his “White Boy Wednesdays” playlist gave it all away:

“It’s a universal thing, right?’’ he asked reporters, with a smile. “It’s just like taco Tuesdays. It’s a (expletive) thing.”

It’s a (expletive) thing. Profound words with profound implications. It’s at this point we can confidently presume Taco Tuesday is a staple in the James house. His videos would increase in frequency and social media buzz throughout the 2018-19 season before reaching a zeitgeist level of furor with this May ‘19 insta-story.

Thus, we can split LeBron’s career is into two distinct periods:

• Pre-Taco Tuesday Era: 2003-04 – 2017-18 seasons
• Taco Tuesday Era: 2018-19 – 2019-20 seasons

With a reliable taco timeline established, it’s time to count the beans.

The Taco-nalysis

I began by compiling LeBron’s career game logs (the population) and identifying the day of the week each game was played on. Next, I pulled in his Season Averages (the control group) and selected the following 10 stat categories to get a comprehensive picture of his performance: Game Score, Points, Field Goal %, 3-Point %, Free Throw %, Total Rebounds, Assists, Steals, Blocks, and Turnovers. For each of these stats, I compared his average performance for each day of the week to his overall average for the corresponding season.

Example: for the 2003-04 NBA season, LeBron averaged 20.9 Points per game. On Sundays that season, he averaged 26.6 Points per game. So, for Sunday during the ‘03-04 season, LeBron had a Points per game variance of +27.3%. This calculation is repeated for each day of the week for each of the 10 stat categories for each of LeBron’s seasons in the league.

<Example of Analysis>

A 5% variance threshold was used to clearly delineate between good and bad performances. Meaning, daily stat averages greater than +5% of the season average are considered “Positive” (green), variances less than -5% are considered “Negative” (red) and variances within those bounds are considered “Neutral” (yellow). This threshold divided the data points into the three stratums equally.

Pre-Taco Tuesday Era

This analysis examined 1,050 total data points from the period before LeBron discovered tacos (10 stats x 7 days per week x 15 seasons) and found an unambiguous trend: The King played better on Tuesdays.

<Pre-Taco Tuesday Era - % of Variances by Day of Week>

Since LeBron entered the league, his Tuesday night performances had registered the lowest rate of Negative variances and the highest rate of Positive variances. Meaning, Tuesday is the day he was least likely to perform worse than his season average, and the day he was most likely to perform better than his season average.

When looking at the stat variances cumulatively, his Tuesday performance stands out even more!

<Pre-Taco Tuesday Era - Cumulative Avg Stat Variances by Day of Week>

Tuesdays had a Total Average Variance of 2.4%. Meaning, in the pre-Taco Tuesday era, LeBron posted an average stat line +2.4% better than his season average on Tuesday nights.

And with LeBron being undoubtedly the best player on his teams, we’d expect that Tuesday performance bump to be reflected in the Win/Loss column… It was.

<Pre Taco-Tuesday Era - Win % by Day of Week>

He came out victorious in 71% of his Tuesday outings in the pre-Taco Tuesday era - more than 4% better than his overall win rate for the same period.

This is where things get bleak. LeBron-stans, now would be the time to log off.

Oh, How the Tacos have Turned

Everyone thought LeBron’s biggest weakness was his hairline. Turns out, it’s tacos.

Prior to his weekly taco tradition, LeBron’s Tuesday performance had the lowest rate of negative variances and the highest rate of positive variances. In the first two seasons of the Taco Tuesday era, James’ sacred day saw an +11% uptick in negative variances and a -17% drop in positive variances.

<Taco Tuesday Era - % of Variances by Day of Week>

Looking at the stats in aggregate we get an even better sense for his drop in Tuesday performance. LeBron is suddenly performing notably worse than his season average in most of the key stats! A complete reversal of the trend from the days before his taco titillations.

<Taco Tuesday Era - Cumulative Avg Stat Variances by Day of Week>

Suffice it to say, LeBron’s average Tuesday performance has fallen flatter than Casa Ole’s® velveeta-covered tostada. For those of you residing outside the great state of Texas, allow this trip advisor review to enlighten you on our state’s worst Mexican chain.

<Casa Ole Review>

Similar to how Montezuma’s revenge transforms local cuisines into violent bowel movements, we’d expect LeBron’s shitty Tuesday performance to translate to the Win/Loss column… it did.

<Taco Tuesday Era - Win % by Day of Week>

Since the weekday shenanigans began, LeBron’s Tuesday Win % has lagged his overall Win % by -2%.

To put all these numbers into perspective, here’s a few Taco-mparisons for you to consider.

Taco-mparison

These graphs give a sense of just how different LeBron’s Tuesday nights were in the two eras.

<Taco-mpare: Total Avg Variance (Era vs Era)>

<Taco-mpare: % of +/- Variances on Tuesdays (Era vs Era)>

<Taco-mpare: GmSc (Era vs Era)>

<Taco-mpare: Tuesday Win% (Era vs Era)>

​

Ta co-nclude

It’s becoming difficult to separate LeBron’s on-court performance from his escalating taco mania. Whether he’s sending taco trucks to the California firefighters, leading the Staples Center in an arena-wide taco chant, or his recent feature on Migos’ Taco Tuesday track – LeBron has progressively made the Latin street food a part of his identity.

<Taco Tuesday track>

After examining 17 seasons of data the findings are clear: LeBron James’ Tuesday performance has gotten measurably worse since his Taco Tuesday antics began.

So, what does this mean for LeBron and the Lakers?

Well, in the short run, they don’t have too much to worry about. The NBA curiously scheduled no Tuesday night matchups for the Lakers in the bubble restart. I don’t mean to stoke the r/nba conspiracy flames but if that sus pattern holds for the playoff schedule, we’ll need an official response from Adam Silver.

<Lakers Bubble Schedule>

Note: the author contacted the the NBA League Office for comment but they did not respond prior to posting on reddit.

Looking past the current season, however, should Jeanie Buss and the Lakers consider intervening?

On the one hand, LeBron should face the mariachi music and acknowledge the way he’s let down his teammates, coaches and fans these past two taco-slowed seasons.

On the other hand, despite his Tuesday distraction and the performance decline it’s wrought, LeBron had an MVP-caliber season and led his team to the #1 seed in the Western conference.

What his teammates, coaches and fans deserve most is an unencumbered LeBron. An on-court LeBron who’s fully present every time he suits up; undistracted by the allure of alliteration themed dinner nights. And, an off-court LeBron who can freely indulge his primal taco impulses each and every Tuesday night. A LeBron so fully self-actualized it’d make Michael stop crying.

Thus, the data offers but one solution: Taco Load Management

Frank Vogel should rest LeBron on Tuesday nights so he can pursue his conflicting passions uninhibited.

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You can check out the formatted write-up and all my research here!

All the graphs are summarized in this imgur album