breakfast: half a cookie my toddler didn’t finish from the night before.
I tend to avoid looking at my husband’s face during sex. He’s a wonderful partner, father, person. Plus, I’m very very attracted to him but for some reason, his O face gives me the ick. I feel like a bully for feeling this way. It’s odd because he is a very beautiful man. Tall, long dark hair, blue eyes.. but, before he goes, he looks like he holding an aggressive sneeze. He will NEVER know I think this. Ever. So, hi ladies. Just wanted to chat 😭
Edit/update: I’m a SAHM to a toddler so thanks for making me laugh a lot on a typically hectic go-go-go day. I’m having so much fun reading all these comments. Xoxo and Kazaam!
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Sidenote—this is EXACTLY what I imagine when I think of the SHAZAM..the genie movie from the 90s...they try to gaslight me saying that it was only Shaq with Kazam...but no...sinbad was there first, i remember☝🏼I had this vhs as a kid, looked just like this idc Idc! Thanks for validating🫡
When I was in college, and still dated men, I would whisper "I win" when they climaxed. Had a lot of guys never call me back, but, apparently, I'm a legend in some circles. I hate that for me lol
Worst edgy 22 year old shit ever. Nobody was surprised when I came out as lesbian.
Edit: holy crap y'all thanks for the awards! I'm glad I could offer you all a free giggle in these trying times.💚🌟
That’s the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard and I’m going to start randomly whispering I win in public places in hopes that one of these men crosses my path and I trigger him
I just said “good boy.” Nice sultry whisper in the ear as they finished. I’d do the same thing when they paid for something for me. Definitely conditioned my fair share. Never had to open my wallet 😈
Real girl, I dated a guy who would like scrunch his nose, bear his front teeth like •0• and furrowed eyebrows. Like this errmm actually cat.
Horrific.
Edit :
I didn’t realize my comment was so funny but, to add insult to injury lol he’d rest and push my forehead down during missionary. I hated it and would constantly try and tell him or move his hand away but he never stopped. Imagine, laying there, pinned down by your forehead have to stare at a man with long balding hair and a scrunched nose with his teeth out while he cums. Not fun lol
My ex husband would literally appear AND sound like he just was caught by a surprise attack and then is stumbling down a mountain. Like “OH!! WHOA OHHH UHHHGG”
Ok, this is the first of the comments that actually got me laughing out loud 😂 That description is priceless! I've always wished my husband was more vocal in bed, but some of these comments got me reconsidering...🤔
The very first time we had sex I straight up could not stop laughing afterwards he was like ok ok I get it my orgasms are funny to you!! It didn’t really give me the ick actually tho. I just thought it was very ~unique for lack of a better word LOL
My ex (bless his heart he passed away a few years back) would go “IMMMM COMMMMIIINNNGGGGG!” And like HOWL really loud hahahaha. He was a gorgeous man and I loved him to death, but it took me by surprise the first couple times for sure
My guy and I take spicy videos when we're together (he insists I keep all of them, we take them on my phone, I don't send them to him, we watch together later. His rules so I feel safe).
One time he got my O face and I was like NEVER AGAIN SIR YOU KEEP THAT CAMERA BELOW THE COLLAR BONES DAMMIT
Absolutely do not go there. This is like asking someone if you’re the best they’ve been with… you do not need their dumb mouth saying something half thought out that will get BURNED into your brain and pop up every time you’re about to O.
This info can only be gathered when he says something sexy about it one time… until then you live in ignorant BLISS :)
I dated a guy who whose moans would kinda turn into goose honks the further we got along in it.... I wish that could have been solved by closing my eyes.
Girl my most recent ex would GROWL when he felt really good. It took me aback the first time LMAOO I feel like he was faking that and thought I would like it. I DID NOT!
If it helps you feel better, my bf smiles like a serial killer whenever he's on top and sometimes I can hear his teeth grinding. That being said, I wouldn't change a thing about him.
When I first told my ex bf that I want to watch him cum he thought I meant literally, so he pulled it out! Ha! I mean I like that too, but that was not the right moment.
I usually wouldn't either. My boyfriend loooves eye contact and I find it hot when he does. But I've dated a couple men where they look horrible orgasming so I can sympathize with OP and echo "close your eyes" or something. Hopefully her husband doesn't see this post. I am bi and quite honestly a lot of things men do is a bit icky and if she otherwise finds him hot and he is a good partner then this is really not the worst thing ever, just hurtful if he finds out she feels this way!
Whenever I'm in a position where I would even see his face during climax, I just close my eyes anyway. I've never been an intense eye contact during sex kind of person...I overthink too much and eyes closed is just better for both of us lol
if it makes u feel any better, I've felt the same way about a guy i used to see. it wasn't even his O face, just how he held his face while i was riding him third round into the night. Boy, I'll never forget that face, his eyes shut, head back, mouth open, it looked like he was holding in a sob and a scream at the same time. i felt bad about feeling this way because ig he was just having a great time 😭
Reminds me of that one lily allen song where I think she talks about him finishing early but she goes ‘you make this one noise and it’s apparent it’s all over’ lol
Clearly I need coffee this morning. I thought that was a fish eating corn. Good Lord hahaha. Tbh best thing you can do is close your eyes and lean into it. That way you still enjoy yourself, but you don’t have to look at his face if it gives you the ick. 😅
My ex’s made him look actually constipated like he was trying desperately to squeeze out a nugget — we broke up, but not because he looked like he was trying to force a shit when he came
Reading this thread I was thinking 'there's almost no facial expression my wife could pull during climax that I wouldn't find hot'... and then I read your comment. Yeah, that oughta do it.
i can sing pretty great. i’m a pretty girl, im big but i do have a pretty face. well girl i wanted to see myself sing because id never seen myself recorded and let me tell you i looked so fucking UGLY. i look like a hippo stepped on my foot and i was screaming in pain. it also made me realize i certainly look the same during sex with my husband.
LIKE LITERALLY GET ME A PAPER BAG TO WEAR TYPE SHIT. all of this just to say - just close your eyes girl, we literally can’t help it!😭😭
edit: i would like to add that i’m kind of new to loving myself and i need to stop acknowledging my weight out of fear that someone else will do it first. i personally see people for who they are rather than what they look like but i still fear that people won’t do the same for me. all bodies are beautiful and i hope i didnt insinuate otherwise!!!
I might have a unique perspective as an artist, but I think people look the most beautiful when they are the most expressive.
We only really see ourselves with a flat-face in the mirror so anything else looks weird to us, but if you think about the people you love there's a good chance you'll be remembering their big laughs/smiles and most expressive body language.
If you sent me two reference pics for a portrait, one of you looking straight ahead and one in full on "hippo mode," I would absolutely draw the latter!
You had me at tall with long dark hair and a lot of tattoos…. and even the description of his O face would make me shut my eyes. Maybe a position where you aren’t directly facing each other? Work a blindfold in? Turn the lights off? Give him a ball gag?
Don’t worry. My husband makes a fish face and I avoid looking at him, too. Not because it gives me the ick but just because…I don’t know. Kind of makes me uncomfortable? Which is weird because before we had our second child, it didn’t bother me.
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u/trendingtattler AutoMaude 🤖🎀 1d ago
HEADS UP GIRL 🚨 your post made it to /r/all!
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