Stopping for coffee saved my life

[u/bigbadmon11]

POTENTIAL TRIGGER:

Work has been really bad lately so I’ve been leaving on my lunches to clear my head. I like leaving work and going to walk around at parks or stores nearby. It was raining today so I chose a store to walk around.

I pulled into the parking lot at 11:40a. At the last second, I decided I wanted to stop for coffee first, which is super uncommon for me to do. In my 6 years at this job, I’ve gone out for coffee only once before this, but I’ve been exhausted from marathon training the past couple weeks. Also, the past two nights I’ve fallen asleep on the couch at 7:30pm, which I didn’t want to do tonight because my wife isn’t going to be home until 8pm.

So I ended up driving to a coffee shop and didn’t get back to the store until 12:10p. At that point, a ton of cops, ambulances, and fire trucks started pulling in so I just left.

Little did I know, at 11:59a there was a shooting at the store I was planning on walking around with two confirmed dead. I can’t stop thinking about how stopping for coffee so that I’d have enough energy to hangout with my wife tonight might have just saved my life.

I think I’m okay. I mean nothing actually happened to me. I’m just kind of shocked that I was almost there and can’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened if I was. Now I’m just patiently waiting for my wife to come home.

[u/strangeloop414]

I’m so glad you’re okay but that’s really heavy and survivors guilt can be so real.

[u/MildMeringue → u/strangeloop414]

That kind of near miss would absolutely mess with my head too. The fact that such a tiny, totally random decision changed where you were at that exact moment is terrifying. I hope your wife gets home soon and you get a long, quiet hug tonight.❤️

[u/Blondie_cakes7]

I’m so glad you got called to that coffee!! This made me remember when my daughter was around 1 and I had to pick my nephew up from kindergarten. I randomly decided to stop at a busy fast food restaurant and take the kids inside to eat. I had NEVER done that before but something told me to sit down and eat. I couldn’t even eat my meal my stomach felt off so we wrapped it up and were on our way out of the restaurant to eat at home. A woman stopped me and started asking about my daughter and we stopped and chatted for less than 5 minutes.

I got home and there was a large pick up slammed into the side of my separate garage. It was still smoking and a man was running over to my house. He lived on another street up higher than my home but he apparently forgot to put his car into park and it rode right down the hill and slammed onto my garage minutes before I got home with the kids. If we had been home those few minutes earlier my car would have been directly in its path and I would have been between my car and the garage getting my daughter out of her car seat. Who knows how hurt we would have been coming home moments earlier!!! I fully believe those feelings are there to save us.

[u/Quierta → u/Blondie_cakes7]

I am not the MOST spiritual person but I definitely subscribe to like... sometimes you are just compelled, by something, to change your habits for whatever reason and it results in an altered, better outcome.

I've never had anything quite that big happen to me but my grandmother used to tell this story that she was at a red light and the light turned green, and she started to go, but the car stalled randomly. A perfectly-tuned and not-very-old car that never had any issues, just stalled for a second instead of going. And a huge truck ran the red light going full-speed and would have T-boned her if she had gone.

Someone's out there pulling strings and looking out for you!

[u/bigbadmon11 → u/Blondie_cakes7]

Glad you’re all okay❤️

[u/Berriman_Klajver → u/Blondie_cakes7]

Just a few minutes either way and it couldve been a totally different day for you and your daughter. So glad you guys were still at the restaurant chatting with that woman lol, strangers randomly saving the day without knowing it.

I dont know if its a gut feeling thing or just luck but ive had a couple of those "why did i just do that" moments too and its always so weird looking back. Idk what to call it but i def listen to it more now.

[u/Frutselaar → u/Blondie_cakes7]

I once went to the supermarket I always go to, just to buy some pasta. Somehow, even though I can dream the interior of the supermarket, I couldn't find the aisle with pasta in it. I walked around for about 5 minutes until I finally found the pasta. I was so confused with myself. 

And then when I cycled back home (I live in Amsterdam), there were ambulances and firefighters everywhere. There had just been a gas-explosion on a houseboat on my route and two people who cycled past had been hit by debris and had head-trauma. I still think that had I instantly found the pasta, I would've been there when the explosion happened. Who knows what would've happened then.

[u/SaltGoat7120]

That's horrible. I hope you talk to people, your wife, a therapist, family, friends, anyone, about this for as long as you need. Rest in Peace to the victims, sending love <3

[u/bigbadmon11 → u/SaltGoat7120]

Thank you! I do have people to talk to. Today I just wanted to save it for my wife and I guess Reddit lol

[u/Sebastian_dudette → u/bigbadmon11]

Hope you also play some Tetris to help your brain process.

[u/0xidizedAvocado → u/Sebastian_dudette]

This is real. Tetris and similar have have been shown to help

[u/imyourdruidess420]

I am so glad you are okay. Maybe your intuition was trying to protect you.

My mom and I were once set to meet up at a local mall, but my mom called and rescheduled for the next day because she didn't feel well. Turns out, a shooting happened in the food court that day, near the theater we'd planned on going to.

[u/keepcalmkniton → u/imyourdruidess420]

Coral Ridge? My husband and I were going to go look at legos and go to the food court, but stopped at Pita Pit instead, pulled in as the cops were flying into the lot

[u/zonutsthefirst]

Near misses are wild. I've had a couple.

You might be processing this for a little while.

Give yourself some room for that if it happens, because if it needs processing and you try to bypass it, the processing might insist on happening at an inconvenient time and take longer.

That said, avoid getting too caught up in the processing. That's also a recipe for putting yourself in a weird headspace for a while unnecessarily.

I learned each of those things the hard way.

[u/bigbadmon11 → u/zonutsthefirst]

Thank you! Other than work being bad, I’m in a good spot mentally right now and have lots of family coming to visit me the next couple months, which I’m excited about.

[u/roxinmyhead]

Probably 20 years ago, I was stopped at a traffic light with my then 10 yo in the front seat and younger 2 siblings in the back seat. Oldest asked me a question and I turned my head to answer her. When I looked back at the road, it was just in time to see that the light had turned green.... and there was a huge dirty white 4 door pickup truck barreling thru the intersection. If I had gone immediately when the light turned green, I have no doubt that the truck would have come crashing right into the drivers side of my minivan.... and I wouldnt be here to tell you that story.... I go thru that intersection almost every day. I'll never forget it.

[u/shatterhearts → u/roxinmyhead]

Something similar happened to me but I was in the car alone, driving home from work at night. The light turned green, I hesitated (which I never do; I'm usually zoned out during my commute because there's barely any traffic), and then a truck came barreling through the red light at around 40mph. That small moment of hesitation is the only reason I didn't get T-boned on the driver's side.

The best part of the near-miss (aside from the fact that I avoided what could have been a fatal accident) is that there was a cop following directly behind me. They must have seen the whole thing because they went after that truck so fast. I like to think the driver got into serious trouble.

[u/EmploymentOk1421]

It is amazing that you stopped for coffee. Expect to feel a little traumatized/ shell shocked for a few days. Recognizing your close encounter is bound to have an emotional impact. Wishing you peace.

[u/bigbadmon11 → u/EmploymentOk1421]

Thank you! I’ll see how I react in the coming days. Luckily, I already have a therapist so I’ll talk with her in a couple weeks

[u/JustALuckyName → u/bigbadmon11]

You should email her and let her know briefly what happened . Say you assume you’ll be ok to discuss in a few weeks, but just wanted to give. Heads up and and also ask you know what would be the process to book an appt sooner if emotions catch up to you. Might be doing her a favor to give her time to prepare for the session / not just lay it on her in person since it will be in the news,…and she would almost certainly make time if you end up a bit triggered unexpectedly. Also she might have reason to ask to see you sooner so she can track how it affects you … obviously would be up to you whether to accept that, but worth a short email so a baseline is set.

[u/plushsquirtles]

When I was in high school I went to pick up my best friend to go see a movie,he ended up forgetting his jacket upstairs then we left. I ended up being behind a car that was going straight just like me, another car flew through a red and slammed into her car. We got out I stayed with her until ambulances arrived and told the cops what I saw and we both gave them our info. The fucker tried to say it was her fault. If he hadn’t forgotten his jacket…

I’m so glad you’re okay♥️

[u/Kazbaha]

Your higher self redirected you.

[u/bigbadmon11 → u/Kazbaha]

I like that

[u/Nerd-of-all-trades]

Give yourself grace over the coming days to months. You will go through many "what ifs" and that is okay as long as you don't let yourself spiral. You ARE still here. Enjoy life. You were tangentially involved in a traumatic event. Let yourself feel, grieve, process, and allow others to enter into it with you. Don't try to do this alone. It will be okay. I'm glad you're okay.

And rest in peace to the victims. Hopefully the killer is brought to justice.

[u/witchspoon]

Tell your wife thank you and that you love her extra.

[u/CrimsonFluffball]

Not to give too many details away, but I had a similar thing happen. Was going to a fast food place, decided to not go last minute because they wouldn’t have the thing I wanted, long story short found out that there was a shooting in the drive thru right as I would have been there had I not changed my mind. Not everyone survived.

It’s a weird feeling and a part of you definitely feels guilty for it, maybe like you aren’t supposed to be there. I’m sorry you had to go through something like this but I’m happy you’re still here.

[u/Snark_247]

So glad you are okay. Life is good. I see the cute little dinosaur 🦖

[u/FaroshNaydraDinraal → u/Snark_247]

I think it's a dinosaur taco! So cute

[u/bigbadmon11 → u/FaroshNaydraDinraal]

It is! You can see the “tac” in tacosaurus lol

[u/Soft-Impression-163]

I’m so happy you’re actually okay, funny how a lot can just happen in minutes

[u/Quierta]

So glad you are OK!! That's such a heavy "what-if" to deal with; I'm glad you have a therapist and people to talk to about this. Maybe play some tetris just in case, to help distract your brain from replaying it so much :(

[u/Flipflopsfordays]

Oakbrook?

[u/bigbadmon11 → u/Flipflopsfordays]

Yeah. I parked at LL bean first but then drove around to Barnes and noble for coffee. I normally would’ve walked too, but my legs are sore from running

[u/Cute_Definition_6314]

Not today Satan. Not today. So glad your sixth sense was guiding you today whether you realized it or not.

Now go play the lottery and hug your wife extra tight tonight.

[u/Remarkable_Hair_788]

I feel you there, had something like that happen to me just a few months ago. Was at CSD with my friends and I plannend on staying late and partying but felt exhausted and something inside me told me to just go home and call it a day which I did. Two hours later a car drove into the crowd where over 30 people were injured and one killed.

I also needed a few days with extra kindness and big thank you to whatever force / angel / gut feeling told me to just go home that day. Survivors guilt is real and you are allowed to have and feel all the feelings in the next days. Give yourself grace.

[u/RosemaryCoffee]

Wow. Thank goodness you're alive. Trippy as.

I misread the title as 'Stopping coffee saved my life' and I'm all...you blaspheme. Take that back.

[u/BothTreacle7534]

hugs to you, but give also hugs to your wife, the both of you will probably need it

A situation like that can cause trauma, but people too often ignore that. Take time for yourself, go to a medical check up about the tiredness (can be as simple as missing e.g. vitamin D, but also something is missing or too much. Take it as a kick in the behind to look after you, but also to enjoy life (more?).

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[u/Own_Exchange_3247]

Wow!

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