my boyfriend wants to use hinge to make female friends

[u/Specific_Broccoli]

hi girls. tonight we're having drunken udon noodles with a dirty martini because my original dinner was a single olive in said martini and the mods quite reasonably informed me that this does not constitute food 💛 humiliating. anyway, i've acquired noodles. sadly they have done nothing for the boyfriend situation.

i've been with my boyfriend for about a year. a while ago he told me he was going out for drinks with a female friend i'd never heard of before. slightly odd, but fine. women are allowed to exist and i'm not asking for a register of every woman he's ever met.

then completely randomly i found out they'd actually met on hinge before we got together.

this was information he'd somehow neglected to include when describing her as “a friend”.

when i asked him about it, he insisted they'd never dated and had simply become friends. personally i'd consider “we originally matched on a dating app” fairly relevant supporting documentation when telling your girlfriend you're off for drinks with a woman she's never heard of, but perhaps i'm overly committed to administrative transparency.

also: HE arranged the drinks. and she apparently didn't properly know he had a girlfriend either. he'd vaguely mentioned seeing someone but somehow never managed the enormous linguistic undertaking of saying “i have a girlfriend”.

so: former hinge match, drinks he initiated, girlfriend doesn't know their history, hinge woman doesn't really know about girlfriend. extremely efficient system. nobody has the full information except him.

we obviously had a massive row.

and somehow his takeaway from this was to ask whether i'd be okay with him using hinge to find more female friends in the future.

hinge. for female friends.

apparently we're treating the dating app like a local knitting circle now.

he thinks i'm being controlling because he wouldn't be “looking for dates”. i think if you're opening hinge specifically to meet women, we may simply have reached the limits of the english language.

anyway, we're currently barely speaking and he's annoyed that i'm struggling to move past something he insists was completely innocent.

perhaps tomorrow i'll download deliveroo and use it to find a dentist.

am i being unreasonable or has this entire situation gone completely off the rails?

edit: for context, there was actually a whole period before the “hinge for female friends” suggestion where i just felt completely insane for being upset that he'd gone for drinks with a woman, told me basically nothing about her, and i only found out by accident later that they'd originally met on a dating app. i've had jealousy issues before, so i kept telling myself i was being insecure and needed to trust the man who'd always made me feel incredibly loved and secure. then he suggested using hinge to find more female friends and my remaining brain cell finally clocked in for work. apparently i'd overcorrected from “jealous girlfriend” all the way to unpaid defence counsel 💀

[u/Feeling-Response8810]

Tell him that you'll also download the app to look for guy friends.

[u/Usual-Mix-2909 → u/Feeling-Response8810]

And then break up with him and find a new bf on the dating app.

[u/Brief_Isopod_5959 → u/Usual-Mix-2909]

Both of these for sure.

[u/splicepark → u/Usual-Mix-2909]

No no, keep him around and lie to him about the nature of the relationship, how you met, what you’re going out to do!! (hopefully obvious I’m kidding)

[u/Twidollyn_Bowie → u/Feeling-Response8810]

Tell him this and watch him flip out for a few minutes. Then be like “Just kidding, I’m actually breaking up with you.”

[u/whipppitgod → u/Twidollyn_Bowie]

LOLLL YES!!! this is exactly what OP should do

[u/Feeling-Response8810 → u/Twidollyn_Bowie]

Literally don't dish what you can't take. Men BOYS* like this are fucking losers

[u/VeterinarianFun8587 → u/Twidollyn_Bowie]

you should do this OP

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/poopoutlaw → u/Twidollyn_Bowie]

Okay this is my favorite suggestion.

[u/unripeswan → u/Twidollyn_Bowie]

This is similar to what I did with my abusive cheating ex and boy did I get a good giggle, and it was mighty satisfying too. 10/10 recommend just so you can have a laugh at his expense.

[u/Mundane-Payment-7362 → u/Feeling-Response8810]

this is the only correct solution lol see how quickly he gets upset.. better yet, just download and meet a hot guy as a “friend”

[u/Feeling-Response8810 → u/Mundane-Payment-7362]

Literally this is the only solution lmao

[u/LL8844773 → u/Feeling-Response8810]

But also, she’s actually dating them… bc she’s broken up with this jerk and is now single

[u/Leather_Following381 → u/Feeling-Response8810]

This but don’t tell him, let the “friend dates” casually come up in conversation.

[u/BaytaDarell2022 → u/Feeling-Response8810]

This is exactly what you should do.
It is a great idea.
This guy is trash. And, statistically, not even the most appealing man can get half the offer any woman can get on dating apps. You will feel so full of life and new “friends” that you will see his true colors and it will not even hurt.

Edit: grammar

[u/Ok-Cartographer7616 → u/Feeling-Response8810]

This is the way!!!

[u/i_wanna_draw_that → u/Feeling-Response8810]

Show, don’t tell. Ask him to proofread your About section.

[u/CloselyWatch → u/Feeling-Response8810]

Yes!!! Genius

[u/BlueberryEagl → u/Feeling-Response8810]

Double standard 😂 I bet the bf wouldn’t like that tho

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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