r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/M_Waqar-uz-Zaman • 4h ago
Meme needing explanation What does it mean peter?
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u/stevehokierp 3h ago edited 3h ago
Redpill Peter here. I think this has to do with hypergamy/all that redpill dating stuff. Its the idea that most men are attracted to a wide number of women, but most women are only attracted to only the most attractive, wealthy, etc. - men.
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u/iffyClyro 3h ago
Thank fuck for you. I knew the joke but couldn’t work out how to explain it. I’ve now learned the term hypergamy.
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u/stevehokierp 3h ago
Right on. I think the technical meaning of hypergamy may be a little more detailed.
So there is monogamy - where you have one mate, basically forever.
Then there is polygamy - where multiple mates all over the place.
Then hypergamy is sort of in-between. The idea is that women say they are going to mate with someone (stable) for life. But they will sneak out to get the genes of an 'alpha/chad' type that they might be otherwise unable to nail down to a stable long term relationship. Then they go back to the stable guy to raise the kid.
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u/Informal-Zone-4085 3h ago
What you described is the dual mating strategy, not hypergamy. Hypergamy is simply the practice of seeking higher value mating partners (higher value relative to the seeker).
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u/Necromir92 3h ago
I’ll just die alone
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u/Carpe_deis 3h ago
you could, alternatively, become more valuable to human civilization to broaden the pool of potential applicants.
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u/billschu52 3h ago
That was the most friendly and etiquette way of saying “sounds like a skill issue”
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u/polkacat12321 2h ago
"You appear to be of a common variety, lacking in skill and refinement"
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u/Woutrou 3h ago
Being valueable to human civilization isn't how you apply for the pool of applicants. That's a very naive view of who gets rewarded for what in this world
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u/Secure-Pain-9735 2h ago
Uno reverse card: your comment is based off of a naive view of “valuable to human civilization.” Probably one than keeps you in check to continue donating your “value” upstream.
The doctor who fixed your hernia has a different value scale to the doctor who discovers a curative treatment for rectal cancer (and then Reddit magically disappears).
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u/amerovingian 1h ago
I know, why can't these people recognize how valuable robber-barons, tycoons and despots really are to civilization?
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u/TheoneNPC 3h ago
I vehemently believe that the right woman for me won't give a shit about some arbitrary "societal value"
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u/Algo_Muy_Obsceno 2h ago edited 2h ago
I don’t think any women gives a crap about whatever the fuck “social value” is. It’s just something redpillers made up to explain why nobody wants to fuck them.
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u/Erectylereptile 1h ago
Redpill motherfuckers are obnoxious, don't get me wrong. But come on... Men and women absolutely weigh socioeconomic status when selecting prospective mates from the dating pool. This isn't some vibe, it's documented human behavior. Women, in general, are more attracted men who can provide and be caretakers. There's nothing wrong with that.
I'll give an anecdote, Not that anyone cares. but my wife and I are very close and able to have honest discussions about this sort of topic and she is self aware enough to observe her physical attraction for me increasing as my passion for engineering (career) has grown and my physique has changed from exercising.
It's easy to convince yourself the opposite sex(men or women) doesn't care about these traits to avoid confronting uncomfortable truths, but unfortunately, humans are bound by hard coded biology.
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u/AngletonSpareHead 30m ago
Sure we (women) do. But the standard isn’t usually “millionaire,” unless priorities are skewed. The standard is steady gainful employment, which signals he’s mentally stable and independent. And he should be earning enough so that we won’t need to change social classes—downward OR upward.
Hear me out. Before I met my husband, I dated richer guys: a Harvard grad, a published author, various engineers, a pilot. A couple became boyfriends. They took me on fancy vacations, etc. But I found I didn’t enjoy the money that much. That fancy world is not where I’m comfortable. It was weird there. I didn’t know the rules. The people seemed kinda…anxious and intense. And being served by servants was frankly repellant.
(Big exception: I adored flying first class. It was the BEST omg.)
My husband is a steady guy, highly educated, very kind, funny and caring, who makes a little bit less than me. He’s nice looking and smells good, and we share values and interests. We’re middle class.
Money matters a LOT if a man’s earnings are below the baseline that will let us stay middle class. But above that, it becomes a lot less important, and above a certain point it’s even a deterrent.
I wanted a solid guy, not a lazy sponge who won’t wash his own clothes. I wanted a kind and funny guy, not a slick dude in a flashy car who closely monitors my weight.
I will happily fly economy for the rest of my life with my Mr. Right, so I guess that’s the standard.
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u/Feisty-Resource-1274 36m ago
That's great and all, but poor, ugly people still get married and have children
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u/Visible_Pair3017 3h ago
Based on hypergamy talking points, they could go from top 80% to top 30% with minimal effect
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u/Bright-Form-844 1h ago edited 1h ago
There’s a really interesting book called why women have better sex under socialism that in a nutshell posits that the gender pay gap and women’s labor in regards to children and the elderly not being valued economically and domestic labor that women do overwhelmingly also not being paid, does lead women through no fault of their own being forced to select men for their financial stability rather than for love.
I always say conservatives are great at recognizing a problem, but never at fixing a problem, and I think chuds have correctly identified that there is something off in regards to dating, but their limited mental tools sadly make it so they perpetuate their own problems. If they helped to liberate women they would be more easily able to find someone that loved them for who they are.
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u/Thrumboldtcounty420 2h ago
this shit is not real man, and it making you feel this way is exactly what redpilled manosphere dipshits want you to feel like.
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u/milkhotelbitches 2h ago
Exactly.
Feel like an unfuckable loser? Buy my high value alpha male course!
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u/Careful_Elk_8035 2h ago
or just don’t be a piece of shit and it’ll all work out. the vast majority of women aren’t like this.
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u/Magnolia-jjlnr 1h ago
This is usually the correct answer whenever we face an ugly reality of dating.
Like sure, humans are shallow to some extend, but that doesn't mean every human only functions on a shallow basis
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u/Fair_Hyena8554 2h ago
Aww, bubbykins. It’s not real. It’s just something men say online to reinforce the patriarchy and sell supplements and patreon subscriptions. You just literally have to exist in the world and find normal women attractive and not be a jerk.
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u/UnMeaningnessName 3h ago
So its just dating up?
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u/Unlikely_Shopping617 2h ago
An example of dual mating is having two people in a traditional relationship (marriage, someone to come home to, financial stability, etc.) so partner A gets that safe and stable feeling. Safe, stable, and permanent can sometimes be the opposite of fun so partner A goes out and finds short term relationships or flings with people in a dating up sense. Dating up for the thrills without leaving the stability of the safe relationship, in short cheating but not wanting to leave for the other person.
In short having two partners. One for a safe place and one for physical fun/thrills but usually they don't know about each other.
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u/MostExtremeHyperbole 3h ago
Very little evidence of it though, and when it does, it is only a very small portion of the population. Which, ironically, might be the sort of people that make going to the club and getting drunk, doing drugs might be. So all those street interviews outside of clubs might be actually true, but not indicative of the general population.
Dating apps also only represent 1% of the female population. The OKCupid study was heavily biased toward dating app users, but did show that even though women judge looks more harshly, they are way more likely to date and have sex with men who are not of their standards.
Men were not.
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u/Front_Ad_9390 3h ago
On dating apps its pretty apparent, numerous videos on signing up as a guy vs a woman. Irl is a different game, which is why I'd recommend guys avoid apps
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u/What_About_What 3h ago
I’ve heard guys using dating sites is like trying to find water in the desert, while women using them is like trying to find clean water in a swamp. They’re similar but different problems.
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u/Shdwrptr 2h ago
It depends what you’re using it for. Finding a woman as a man for anything on a dating app is very difficult but if you’re a woman just looking for a hookup it’s shooting fish in a barrel level of easy.
If you’re looking for a healthy, stable, long term relationship it can be like wading through a swamp though.
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u/ConsiderationTrue477 2h ago
The apps are a twofold problem. A) They're functionally video games designed to keep people swiping and B) they've monopolized the--for lack of a better word--"industry" of dating.
Basically the death of third places and increased social isolation means organically meeting people is significantly harder today than it was even just 20 years ago. So the apps are basically required. And as we all know, the apps themselves are garbage that go out of their way to dehumanize everyone and are algorithm'd to hell and back so that even if two people are perfect for each other they'll either never see each other or if they do have the deck stacked against them ever actually talking.
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u/MLeek 2h ago
Um... Yes and no. Those are real words, but not the ones you're looking for to complete this picture. Hypergamy could be practiced in either monogamy or polygamy. It's not an in-between or another relationship structure. Hypergamy just describes the relative status of two people in any sort of relationships struture.
The three words you're looking for are: Homogamy, hypergamy and hypogamy.
Homogamy is marriage or partnership between people who are similar in some socially significant way: social class, education, income, religion, ethnicity, age,... It's usually called assortative mating. AND OVERWHELMINGLY, THIS IS HOW WE ACTUALLY PARTNER, AND THESE MARRIAGES ARE USUALLY THE MOST SUCCESSFUL LONG TERM. This is how the vast, overwhelming number of human beings have partnered up: With partners from the same basic spheres/communities.
Hypergamy is marrying "up": partnering with someone of higher social status, wealth, caste, or education than oneself. Historically, the term was often used for women marrying men of higher standing... which makes sense if, historically, you prevent women from having any wealth or social status of their own, and assign them their husbands for the rest of their lives.
Hypogamy is the opposite: marrying "down," or partnering with someone of lower social status, wealth, caste, or education. Basically, this is what men did practice for several millennia, when they made it impossible for women to access social status, education or wealth, except via marriage to men.
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u/Andy_Pandy98 3h ago
Is hypergamy the taste of meat from really old deer?
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u/Anglofsffrng 3h ago
Honestly, hypergamy is a nonsense word you don't really need to know the meaning of. As long as you know the meaning of misogyny.
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u/Character_Event_6855 3h ago
It's crazy bc they made that tf up lol. I had a dude tell me "women only go for 9s and 10s" and I'm like "well so does everyone else bc it's subjective"
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u/MostExtremeHyperbole 3h ago
It is also from a study most people never even read. The OKCupid one, which showed that even though women judged men more harshly on their appearance, they were way more willing to date people who were not of their standards.
Because if they didn't, there wouldn't be any ugly people at all lmfao.
People who believe in hypergamy are literally too stupid to read.
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u/Sockoflegend 3h ago
It tells them a story where it's societies/women's fault they can't get laid and not their shit personality.
Not digging any further into the truth is a choice
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u/SmallAnimal5177 3h ago
Literally anything other than just having a bad personality, ANYTHING
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u/jimsmisc 2h ago
as a friend of mine once said, "if everyone's only banging 10s, where are all these ugly people coming from?"
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u/Money_Do_2 2h ago
I mean, its complicated by what 'hot' means. There are tons of traits that are desirable to one gender and not the other, and in a cruel twist of fate they are passed down all the same.
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u/Fit_Salamander_2814 3h ago
Well, maybe.
Thing is, that OKCupid thing was in 2010 or something? Back when app dating was still just a baby. I'm not sure that second part is still applicable anymore.
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u/ManlyOldMan 2h ago edited 2h ago
I'm pretty sure the second part is true tbh
As a (bi) woman, that has (limited) experience with online dating
Before i 'swipe right' i have my list of red flags of what could lead to an unwanted dickpic or insults and slurs.
This is in addition the bio that makes it seem like me and the person won't match based on values/personality.
This filters out about 80% of the people with a profile. Adding the people that also match with me leads to several people a week to chat with, if I spend 5 minutes a day on those apps (ignoring the time spend chatting with people)
That doesn't mean I wouldn't date a person I might have 'swiped left' on if I meet them irl and the vibes work.
It just means that if women don't filter they get a lot of unwanted sexual messages/images or insults thrown at them because they didn't react fast enough to a stranger
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u/10ebbor10 1h ago edited 1h ago
More recent material generally shows the same thing.
Both men and women date up slightly, with men dating up more strongly than women. This is a consequence of the fact that men tend to take the initiative more than woman. By responding, rather than being the person to send the first message, you are choosing from people who were aiming upwards at you.
Edit :
Looked up a study from 2025 :
In the Brno network, this difference is on average 0.03 for ties send by women, indicating that women tend to nominate on average slightly less desirable mates (by about 3% of the possible maximum). The situation is different for ties sent by male users, because the difference there is −0.16, indicating that men tend to send ties to women who are on average considerably more desirable than themselves.
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In the Prague network, the situation is rather similar with the difference for ties sent by women being 0.02, while reaching −0.08 for ties sent by men indicating slight dating “down” tendencies for women and aspirational tendencies among men.
So, women aim slightly lower than themselves, men aim considerably upwards. (but still far from the 90% go to 10% claimed by redpillers)
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u/WaltRumble 3h ago
Yeah. And those same dudes spend all day gooning to 9 and 10s.
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u/iffyClyro 3h ago
It’s a weird world out there.
Attractiveness is so subjective.
Not sure if this is relevant but I’ll share anyway.
I’d guess I’m probably average appearance wise but have always been the type that needs a genuine connection with someone to really fancy them.
When I was younger mates would slag me off for dating lassies that weren’t in my league or whatever saying I could do better but I just liked them for less superficial reasons.
Anyway fast forward and life had its ups and downs and I had brief albeit happy relationships with very attractive girls one after the other and all your mates start praising you for it but you’re miserable cause you don’t have the same connection.
I’m married now have been for a wee while, objectively speaking my wife is very attractive but for me it’s the fact she’s a doctor, we have deep conversations and all that which is the glue that held us together.
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u/I_Do_Too_Much 2h ago
That's what I was thinking too. I have so many single male friends who say shit like that and then also say "I'd never date a fat chick" or "a woman over x age" or "a career woman" or a "woman with short hair" and on and on.
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u/lenusniq 3h ago
"that most men are attracted to a wide number of women" which is evidenced by a fact that when you tell an average/below average guy who is complaining that he can't get a 10, to go for women of his same level of attractiveness, he is mortally offended. /s
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u/SweetBoiHole 2h ago
This, paired with schrodingers woman that must look like a pornstar while simultaneously having never touched a penis.
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u/SpiritJuice 2h ago
I too fantasize about 10/10 nuns that will leave God for me.
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u/Flimsy_Memory_22 2h ago
I have never, IRL, seen an average/below average man complain that he can't get a 10 or be offended at the idea that he cannot. I have also never seen anything to support the idea that women select a notably narrower set of potential dates than their male counterparts. The internet dating "reality" and the IRL dating reality are completely divorced from each other.
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u/jstndrn 1h ago
Yeah, this is my thing. I only see this shit online. Yes, shallow people exist in real life, but it's not everyone and it's all genders, not just women. I know men and women both who are dating way out of their league and doing just fine.
These dudes aren't out there in the real world, they're glued to their screens and stick to their weird, misogynistic chat rooms, reinforcing each other with stories about awful girls who rejected them for some trivial reason.
Once you have enough of them, those one or two stories they have become thousands and they confirm to themselves that women are the problem. Meanwhile, the rest of us take the rejection and move on with our lives. No one bats a thousand, get over it.
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u/BaronVonNes 3h ago edited 2h ago
Oh Jesus, I thought this was going to be about the reality that a small group of men repeatedly commit the majority of sexual assaults. Not sure which is worse, but I bet the group that believes in hypergamy has a high overlap with the SA group.
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u/were_only_human 3h ago
The idea that every woman at a party is getting equally hit on while only three men are getting the same is laughable. As if more "conventionally attractive" women aren't getting the attention of multiple men at a party, please. The night I met my wife she had three men ask her out.
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u/DotComCTO 1h ago
Ummm...maybe don't explain it quite that way to your wife. She may want to feel like she was/is the most beautiful woman at that party, and not just "conventionally attractive". 😂 😂 😂
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u/Samurai_Mac1 2h ago
If incels actually talked to women, they'd know that women aren't a monolith and have a variety of preferences.
But insecurity and a lack of self-esteem is a huge turnoff, not just for women, but for everyone.
But incels see that they are always rejected so they jump to the conclusion that it's not because they are the problem, it's that women only like rich fuck boys.
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u/RollerskatingFemboy 1h ago
See, like... It kills me sometimes that these people get so close to seeing why they're actually unhappy, and yet remain so far.
Incel: "Class division in this society has gotten out of hand; our fates are sealed so thoroughly the moment we're born that we can't even socialize normally outside of a razor-thin layer of socioeconomic class without getting ridiculed; the parasitic top level class is taking everything with zero regard for those below them, and it has to stop"
Karl Marx: "Hell ya brutha, so what you gotta do is-"
Incel: "AND THAT'S WHY I DON'T GET ANY BITCHES"
Karl Marx: "...... What?"
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u/CookiePrestigious239 3h ago
It's genuinely alarming how mainstream this has gotten. Pre-pandemic, I remember this was all hidden in a tiny corner of the internet that was exclusively inhabited by loser men. Now otherwise normal women are saying shit like "hypergamy"
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u/athosjesus 2h ago
It's funny because if something, what I generally see in my day to day experience are couples were the guy is literally the ugliest motherfucker in the world and the gal is a beauty.
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u/DoctorQuarex 2h ago
Yeah anyone who believes this has literally never taken five minutes to examine couples in the real world
A man I used to happily call "the ugliest man in the world" dated almost every woman I was interested in in high school. It took me a couple of years but I eventually did process "well wait a minute, rather than it meaning I am cursed, maybe it means looking good is merely one part of many in developing attraction???"
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u/Mistermike77 3h ago
Yeah, but here its reversed, right?
Which would be the scary part "for women".
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u/Pofwoffle 1h ago
Its the idea that most men are attracted to a wide number of women
Keep in mind this is coming from the same crowd that pitches a temper tantrum any time a video game includes a female character that isn't a supermodel in lingerie.
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u/laxrulz777 2h ago
Which is funny when you think about it. Girls are WAYYYYY broader in who they find attractive than guys IME. I've seen TONS of hot girls dating guys that I wouldn't find particularly attractive and money is rarely the reason. Otoh, how often do you see a really attractive man dating a woman that's below average.
Look at the weird flack Pierce Brosnan gets
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u/0rphu 2h ago
Remember the okcupid survey where women rated 80% of men as "below average" and men rated 80% of women as "above average"?
Incel types blow these situations way out of proportion, but the numbers do tend to support women being far pickier and there is well understood evolutionary basis for this (sperm are cheaper than eggs).
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u/laxrulz777 1h ago
That's only half of the survey. The other half is that their actual messaging activity (which says a lot more than their self- reported activity) was the exact opposite. Women chatted broadly while men focused 2/3rds of their attention on the top 1/3rd of women.
Also, you overstate the men. The men rated on a standard bell curve. Your numbers are right about the women, however. That's just a small piece of the puzzle though.
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u/Suddenfury 2h ago edited 2h ago
Only the top 10% black men gets all the twinks 😔
Or is it blue pillers only have a few of the same black friends?
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u/OrinocoHaram 2h ago
In my experience the truth is pretty different - women love nothing more than a medium ugly man who makes them laugh and men will pretty much bang anyone but are too scared of the 9s and 10s to approach.
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u/0202_tihssitidder 2h ago
10% of us guys are getting 100% of the women.
We feel sorry for you 90%, but we aint stopping!
🫳🏻🎤
PS: It is a Red Pill picture. Guys, you can always make healthy changes, be a better human, and find love (that lasts for 1-10 years).
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u/FlounderWonderful927 2h ago
I thought this was dating pool before and after dating app and social media, and it happened to both sexes
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u/Father_Prime_1989 2h ago
I mean, as someone who lost 110 lbs it got A LOT easier to get dates and meet women. I’m still the same big nerd personality-wise. All that changed was my now lack of obesity.
I’m married now. And I swear it’s my wife’s goal to make me fat so I can’t run away. That’s what I get for marrying a Latina lol
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u/You-Asked-Me 2h ago
Has he tried being gay? It's like the left side, but all the little people are blue, and there are a lot more lines between them.
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u/Pintau 2h ago
I mean the red pill shit is mostly bullshit but hypergamy is a proven reality within the human species. Female mating discrimination is exactly the reason you have twice as many female ancestors as male. All the data from generated from dating apps, over the last 10-15 years, only backs this up
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u/True-Ant1922 1h ago
Not quite. It’s the idea men generally date around their level (a 6 will go for a 7 to a 5) while women will only go after the highest value of man (a 4 will go for a 9) this doesn’t necessarily just mean looks but instead their whole value. So for example a 9 for a woman is generally handsome but also rich and very capable. So it’s more about unrealistic expectations than necessarily just what woman vs men want.
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u/Lockenhart 3h ago edited 3h ago
That seems to be some concept of "hypergamy" which I can't wrap my head around and which apparently is promulgated by the incel community or red pillers or some similar crowd
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u/Sweaty_Standard8186 3h ago
Incel community maybe 10 years ago, kids in every school believe in this now
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u/RoadRunner8195 3h ago
Kids in schools talk about hypergamy?
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u/Sweaty_Standard8186 3h ago
Yeah hypergamy memes have gone viral with 14yo boys
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u/Hausierer 2h ago
Just a few days ago I read about a Survey in my Country (Germany) they did with high Schoolers about what they are afraid in their future. Like 7% said hypergamy
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u/TheNathan 3h ago
Yup lol they sure do. I’m a student teacher and I have heard the word in 5th grade. Unrestricted internet access is terrible for children.
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u/no_talent_ass_clown 1h ago
I don't believe it is terrible for children. I think the issue is they are not taught how to think critically. How to evaluate a source.
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u/Antique_Garbage_4361 2h ago
My girlfriend's brother graduated secondary school last year and he talks about mewing. Something I read about on obscure lookism forums 12+ years ago when I was his age. Dude's the furthest thing from an incel
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u/BrightNooblar 3h ago edited 2h ago
To be fair, that makes sense. Remember that right wing and incel content often takes root in children, because it's content designed for people with minimal life experiences who also don't want to do any research or try to grasp nuance.
That applies to both dumb thirty year olds and not yet educated 15 year olds.
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u/The_Salacious_Zaand 2h ago
Epstein, Bannon, and the rest of the far right really got their money's worth creating Gamer Gate from thin air, broadcast it all over the chans, and still reaping the rewards over a decade later.
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u/DannyDanumba 1h ago
Gamergate was the singularity of shit. Literally the point where it all went wrong lol
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u/BrightNooblar 50m ago
EVERY time that gamergate comes up, I use bannons razor to explain which side is more credible. One said spawned Steve Bannon and Brietbart into the public conciousness, and the other side didn't. Ergo you can tell without wading through a bunch of four hour long youtube think pieces which one is actually operating in good faith.
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u/bacan_ 2h ago
Isn’t it true though? At least on dating apps
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u/jbland0909 2h ago edited 1h ago
It’s statistically observable on dating apps. The entire concept of hypergamy came from the fact that dating apps algorithmically rate peoples attractiveness, and studies can observe statistically that only the most attractive men find any kind of success.
The problem is that people attribute the unfair outcomes of dating apps, which are designed to be as frustrating, predatory, and anti-social as possible, to dating as a whole.
I feel like 95% of the angst and frustration people have with “modern dating” is just a direct result of these horrible dating apps becoming increasingly prevalent, and actually pro-social ways of meeting people are shrinking. Pre 2010s, the most common ways for people to meet their partners were mutual friends, social events like bars, or at work. Among Gen Z, bars and third spaces in general are dwindling, remote work is becoming the norm when it’s possible, and this comment would need to be 3x as long just to cover the harm social media has done to IRL friendships.
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u/Arcaris1313 2h ago
not that i care, but the problem with these arguments if you need to prove that dating apps aren't a significant part of dating culture which as far as i'm away is one of the largest sources of dating. So it's likely statistically significant (not that i'm going to waste my time proving it).
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u/jbland0909 1h ago edited 59m ago
That’s the thing, dating apps ARE a significant part of the dating culture. The majority of long couples right now met online.
My point is that dating doesn’t suck right now because women only want to date 6’5 rich handsome mega chads, and everyone else is going to die a virgin like at lot of redpill/incel adjacent rhetoric would argue.
Modern dating sucks because these predatory apps are becoming more prevalent than ever before because the other ways to meet people are slowly disappearing. The problem is big corporate greed exploiting men and our youth culture growing exponentially more anti-social, not random women being evil
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u/Sweaty_Standard8186 2h ago
On dating apps yeah but i think irl is more forgiving
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u/Soft_Brush_1082 2h ago
You know what is funny? The guy at work who really believed and preached that stuff somehow also complained that a chubby male colleague of our (no judgement, just relevant fact) got together with a fitness instructor. He said that he didn’t deserve her.
So in his mind, if women are attracted to someone better locking or more successful than him, then women are biased and that’s unfair. And if they are attracted to someone worse looking or less successfully then they are stupid and that unfair.
Always reminded me of my college MMO playing days. Where anyone who plays less and worse than you is a noob and anyone who plays more or better than you is a nerd.
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u/Low-Concentrate1055 2h ago
So in his mind, if women are attracted to someone better locking or more successful than him, then women are biased and that’s unfair. And if they are attracted to someone worse looking or less successfully then they are stupid and that unfair.
That's the point with these fucking idiots. It's sexist cognitive dissonance with a healthy dose of Fascism.
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u/FriendToPredators 3h ago
Anything to avoid admitting they have a problem they can solve. Most people looking for mates rate kindness really high. If you are a vapid, angry redpiller, congrats you’ve been manipulated into staying angry for someone else’s political benefit.
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u/AsstacularSpiderman 3h ago
Hell I just grew and groomed a beard and changed the game entirely.
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u/Sea_Worker_7935 3h ago
It's widely accepted by anthropologists and sociologists that hypergamy is in fact "practiced" by women. That is, choosing mates based on cultural relevant social factors which signal a high enough social position (equal or higher to that of themselves).
Basically, that women tend to prefer men who are more "successful" in the "real world" than they are. Why is it so shocking and 'red pill-incel' related? It's just a fact.
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u/bacan_ 2h ago
Why is it hard to understand?
Just look at dating apps for example. Some men get no matches at all and others can get as many as they want
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u/No-Assumption-4468 2h ago
These are facts and are not debatable:
1) Surveys and data from dating studies show that the average shortest man a woman is willing to date is around 5 feet 9 inches (68.9 inches)
2) 50% of men are under 5’9”.
Accounting for height alone, most women wouldn’t date 50% of men.
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u/Scary_Ad_1920 3h ago edited 3h ago
It’s not incel; it’s red pill
Edit: People below are conflating the two as if they’re the same. They are not.
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u/Numerous_Photograph9 3h ago
Incels, and many others, use red pill ideology to avoid accountability. It distances their own actions from societies reaction.
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u/mrstorydude 3h ago
Incels do not use red pill ideology to avoid accountability they use black pill ideology.
The red pill is oftentimes about taking accountability in things. It’s just those things are the most superficial ones you can think of. Shit like watching your physical health, making sure you flaunt your wealth properly, knowing how to convince a woman that it’s appropriate for you to be flirting with her, stuff like that.
The black pill is the one where you retire any accountability ever. It’s a derivative of the red pill but there’s a difference. The people who espouse the red pill think anyone can take it and become an amog, but the people who espouse the black pill think that there’s some people who no matter how much red pill work they do, can never succeed with it. Or with dating for that matter.
Hypergamy as a term comes from the black pill and states that the men who become amogs get all female romantic and sexual attraction permanently, and that the men who don’t take the red pill are, at the very best, backups, and at the very worst are not even recognized as viable partners among any woman ever.
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u/Jack071 1h ago
Its a summary of dating apps findings
We also have pretty accurate % for matching rates between ethnicities / racial groups. By now theres actual papers about it https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11129-010-9088-6
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u/software-enjoyer 1h ago
hypergamy is very simple, not sure what you fail to wrap your head around. i suppose incels may have popularized it (no idea tbh) but it isnt some weird theoretical/niche concept. it is historically observed and documented across anthropological and sociological sciences.
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u/NotMyMainLoLzy 3h ago
It means he isn’t getting sex now and he’s about to get a whole lot less sex in the future.
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u/Andrew_Black_23 3h ago
It's about some recent poll where hypergamy was revealed to be the most frightful aspect of the adult life for teens
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u/snoosh00 1h ago edited 43m ago
I mean, I don't agree with the whole redpill/manosphere thing on any level.
But this concept is truly unsettling for people entering (or re-entering) the dating pool. While women need to fear being attacked (in one way or another) they can generally get a date if they want one without much effort or time investment (relatively speaking)...
But for men, all the dating apps are "biased" against you unless you're a high performer (wealth, status or physique) and a feeling of impending doom and loneliness are natural endpoints to be scared of.
That said, there's no point in moping. Just do your best and be patient.
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u/anor_wondo 1h ago
As a 30+ I just find it weird and disgusting the way people dismiss these young kids' insecurities just because they're male
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u/ShackletonsVael 1h ago
You gotta remember that men just aren't worth anything in modern society. We are nothing more than cannon fodder for whatever conflicts happen around the world. Been that way for thousands of years, and will most likely continue in the future, nothing within society has shown that mentality would ever change at all.
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u/snoosh00 1h ago
That's blackpill incel bullshit.
There's grains of truth in the statement you're making, but there's a beach of other facts that disagree with your stance.
I think your bigger issue is with being part of an economic underclass and expecting the social media false reality of the 1% to be the life you are owed.
You can be correct in nothing that most combat deaths are male without blaming your penis for your working conditions or social life.
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u/Prismatic_Leviathan 6m ago
Wars are bad and we shouldn't be doing them, but would it be better if we also sent an equal number of women to die?
I get your point, when it comes time for someone to make a sacrifice it's probably gonna be a dude, but for war in particular it's so devastating and unnecessary for everyone involved that gendering the problem feels meaningless.
But also, the idea that men are worthless in modern society is an astonishingly stupid one. All the wealthiest and most celebrated people in America are dudes. Top musical artists, number of politicians, highest rated actors, most famous athletes, the list goes on. Now women just have an option between marriage or poverty, the only real change is that someone has to genuinely like you for you to have a relationship unless you're very good looking or wealthy.
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u/Obatala_ 46m ago
"Young men are insecure, because they believe that only 'Chads' can find dates, so they hate women."
Maybe the problem is the hating women part?
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u/SeaAdmiral 24m ago
You do realize that simply describing the majority of young males who likely don't hate women as such is just subjecting them to the Pygmalion effect until a large portion of them will, right?
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u/pink-ming 12m ago
hearing "young male insecurity" and immediately conflating that with misogyny is exactly why that demographic feels dismissed and ends up being vulnerable to fringe toxic masculinity content in the first place. Nasty little creeps until proven otherwise amirite?
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u/snoosh00 1h ago
That's a fair criticism.
I just think addressing men's issues on this specific topic gets dicey quick (Because the only "real solution" [one that directly addresses the perceived issue] is forced monogamy)
But when it comes to women's issues it's simply awareness campaigns about consent and enforcing existing laws.
I dunno, it's all complicated and tricky.
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u/ErectSpirit7 1h ago
As a 40+ I find it weird and disgusting the way people dismiss the vile misogyny of the incel community and focus on the problems of the young men exclusively, ignoring the violence and hatred they direct at women.
These incels are both victims and victimizers. They are victims of capitalist corporations who have commodified dating to the point where it's almost impossible to actually form meaningful relationships. That victimhood doesn't justify the vile misogyny that they espouse. That victimhood doesn't excuse their dehumanizing views of women.
One can oppose the alienation of youth from each other by profit-seeking corporations AND oppose violence and hatred against women at the same time. Just like I can walk and chew bubble gum.
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u/real_kerim 1h ago
I think the biggest problem in these discussions about these discrepancies in dating is that each "side" just wants to shit on the other and dismiss each other's points. There's no "oh yeah, maybe there's some truth to your point", it's all "NO YOU ARE A WHORE/INCEL!!!"
There's a reason why the rate of coupling is crashing around the world. Men and women increasingly fucking hate each other.
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u/Obatala_ 47m ago
Dating apps suck. If you're entering the dating pool, avoid them like the predatory shitty apps they are, and go meet women in interest groups. You'll have things in common.
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u/crake-extinction 1h ago
Really, I thought it was about the incel tendency to commit mass violence...
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u/Oploplou 3h ago
While this is all some red pill bullshit, I have to say it’s very well done. Like the presentation is very pleasing to the eye. Not co-signing the idea even slightly, but it’s pretty to look at.
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u/iwant2fuckstarscream 3h ago
Am I dumb or are the colors backward though? If pink is girl and blue is boy then it looks like it’s implying that men are attracted only to several women lol
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u/CitronHoliday3361 2h ago
also what gender does black correspond to?
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u/Raised_bi_Wolves 2h ago
Black men I think? All men would happily settle down with just one black man, But women reallly all just want like the three hottest Black men. I think the top ones are likely, Idris Elba, Michael B Jordan, Denzel Washington. Personally, I'm more of a Sam Richardson man because he's funny and I think he'd be really good with my kids.
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u/atheistunion 3h ago
It’s political coloring, not gender coloring. The joke is saying conservatives don’t have this problem; it’s supposedly a liberal/left thing.
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u/Jack071 1h ago
Here you go an actual written study, theres multiple by now about it https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11129-010-9088-6
Another interesting fact, on average in dating apps females care more about income than looks, with males its the opposite
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u/jointheredditarmy 3h ago
Holy shit this is even worse than the pickup artist shit from the 2000s
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u/clutchthepearls 2h ago
I mean, it's just a contination of that. Inceldom came directly from pickup artist culture.
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u/tall_specimen_69 3h ago edited 3h ago
So on the left side are male , they choose parters according like based on looks , on the right are girls preference based on looks like 80:20 rule. Like majority of girls want top 20 percent of males. Edit , it's a incel thing ,not real.
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u/dondegroovily 3h ago
That's what the graph is showing, yes. But it's incel bullshit, not reality
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u/Flimsy_Club3792 3h ago
I mean, there's some truth in it. However the incels are trying to push the fact that all woman are materialistic, etc when what is supposed to be conveyed is that
- Love is not for everyone
- This world doesn't guarantee a partner, and maybe it's for the best (a wrong partner can be very destructive)
- If possible, improve yourself. Not by gyms or good-looking (they are advantages, but there's a workaround) but rather doing the things you love and share it with utmost passion.
I know because it happens in front of my eyes and it's kinda hard to say the graph is wrong, there's some truth in it.
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u/the_zero 3h ago
Some good advice, but in reality there’s not that much truth to the concept.
Women date less attractive men than this represents. Quite a number of attractive women date men who are “average” or “below average” in the looks department.
I’m a bit older than most here, but the bit of advice that I would give to young men:
- Talk to women and treat them as normal people.
- Get to know women and become friends with them without the constant expectation to date, hook up, etc.
- Stop comparing yourself to other people. Stop comparing women IRL to Instagram/ TikTok models.
- Become an interesting person by doing things that you find interesting.
- Get a hobby. Find people with the same or similar hobbies.
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u/The_Gwami 2h ago
- 2. Are the major ones. People be trying to use strategies and treat it like it’s an RPG. “If I choose the right dialogue I’ll get her” or “her body language indicates.” Like those things are relevant but not as important to actually feeling the chemistry. And befriending women without trying to constantly get in their pants allows you to understand them more, and that sometimes leads to them jumping you.
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u/artsloikunstwet 2h ago
Also, a secret alpha bros won't tell you: if you meet interesting, funny and caring women and try to befriend them, and they become your friend, you end up having an interesting, fun and caring friend! It's a crazy lifehack!
Yes, it also helps you to learn to talk to women like they're normal human beings, understanding them better and thus being better at getting romantic interests going and being a better boyfriend.
But I never understood how you can be older than 15 and not see gaining a friend as a valid win in itself. The reason so many people can only imagine these relations a friendzone is that they only can think of friendships as a partly fake, second-class strategy to get into sex or a romantic relationship, never as a genuine attempt to be friends with a cool person you have things in common with.
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u/AsstacularSpiderman 2h ago
The graph also isn't quite based in reality as it's based on dating site info where dudes outnumber women 10:1 at the best of times.
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u/Salty_Expert5939 3h ago
It is a real statistical principle, the Pareto principle. It's basically a power law. 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes. But it is indeed applied wrong in the context of dating.
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u/Fickle-shn 3h ago
Complete bullshit lol. You always see attractive women with below average men. You are rarely going to see a below average woman with an attractive husband.
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u/atheistunion 3h ago
It’s political; not gender differentiated. The joke is saying conservatives don’t have this problem.
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u/Krazycrismore 2h ago
That image uses data pulled from dating apps about who swipes on who. I don't think it reflects reality, just shitty dating app culture. However, they are using real data.
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u/Professional-Help931 2h ago
Yes but the joke is that the colors are reversed so hes saying guys do it not girls.
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u/twentyonesideddie 3h ago
This is not directed at OP who was just asking about the image, but holy fuck is my feed full of red pill incel garbage this morning.
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u/thegreatshark 1h ago
For MONTHS I kept seeing fucking red pill posts in my personal feed. I NEVER read nor subscribed to that sub nor did I want to read that drivel. There was no way to remove it, the sub was just greyed out and un clickable. I only knew where I was based on the post title/texts.
I’m convinced reddit is trying to increase the amount of rage and alienation we feel to drive up engagement.
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u/DM-me-naughty-Cats 3h ago
And here I am thinking it was some kind of shitty neural network attempt.
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u/terrasparks 3h ago
The real reason it is the scariest costume is if you see it in person, you're finding yourself in the same room as a self-identified Elliot Rodger.
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u/OGablogian 3h ago
That's the picture incels use in their argument that women only want to fuck hot guys, and that even average looking guys dont stand a chance. The kid is dressed up as an incel. And that's scary, because nobody wants to be around incels.
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u/Fearless77_ 2h ago
Of course women only want to fuck hot guys, let’s not lie to ourselves
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u/NamelessCabbage 1h ago
Guys want to fuck hot girls. In addition, I've seen countless men call a beautiful celebrity woman "mid". Their brains are rotted from the inside out
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u/Fearless77_ 53m ago
That’s just them coping and rejecting them to boost their low self esteem. I mean would you not also agree men are just horny in general and would fuck most women.
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u/Intrepid_Anteater_47 3h ago
It means someone has been watching to.many hoe_math videos on you tube
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u/SandalsResort 3h ago
Peter, you know how Meg looks like Meg but she goes after boys who look better that what she can get while she ignores Neil despite being in her league. This costume is that.
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u/ThalesofMiletus-624 3h ago
This image (and ones like it) are commonly used in the incel/redpill community to illustrate the idea that the majority of women are attracted to/interested in a small proportion of men (frequently stated as claiming that 80% of women are attracted to only the top 20% of men).
The image on the left represents relationships as they "should" exist, with everyone dating people near their own level of attractiveness, and therefore most people having the potential for monogamous relationships. The image on the right represents relationships as these groups believe they exist: the most attractive (or otherwise "highest-value") men being pursued by the entire female population.
This concept is heavily tied into incel philosophies. Men in these communities argue that the majority of men have little to no potential for sex or romantic attachment, because all the women are pursuing a small fraction of men.
Calling this chart "the scariest Halloween costume" could be taken one of two ways. People who believe in the ideas represented by the chart might find the chart itself "scary". On the other hand, one could conclude that, by wearing that chart, the man is effectively dressing as an incel, and that is therefore seen as the scariest costume of all.
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u/Ecstatic_Ad695 19m ago
It means that lil buddy here is into some incel shit. Time to get him off the internet and into the community where he can learn to interact with people.
Hypergamy is the almost certainly fictitious assertion that women are uniquely unfaithful for reasons of bullshit evopsych... which is, itself, bullshit. It is an idea used to generate despair and misogyny in lonely men by convincing them that their circumstances are written into the laws of biology. This is what makes it popular within incel groups: It sounds "scientific" and removes the agency of people who buy into it- making them desperate for solutions to their loneliness (looks maxing, incel forums, or just good ol' hatred of women). It also makes them more bitter (which is evident in the humor of this costume) and self-pitying, which makes them great at reproducing the core messages.
For the record, the whole of evolutionary psychology is unscientific because it relies on after the fact guessing. "We observe bright colors for sexual competition in nature, therefore, humans must do directly or indirectly due to sexually selective pressures." It is pseudoscience. Add into it the very powerful (and almost universally felt) feeling of "often people I find attractive are not attracted to me," shake it around in the heads of lonely people in a fairly misogynistic world, and presto, the concept of hypergamy pops out. It's no good and the fact I have seen it twice this week in the context of school-aged kids is fucking alarming.
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u/qualityvote2 4h ago
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