582
u/Nearby-Sentence-2042 3h ago
Keep it and use the cash for tiny transactions. This will allow me to save/invest most of my income.
244
214
u/willynillee 2h ago edited 1h ago
This is the safest answer for the average person. As long as you aren’t buying big ticket items with paper trails, you should be good to go. You’d need to keep paying your normal bills (mortgage, etc..) out of your normal income though.
Need some much needed home improvement/repairs? Blue collar workers love doing work under the table in cash. Need a car wash and detailing? Cash. Gambler? Wash some of it in a casino. Lawn maintenance/pool care? That just got a lot easier. Groceries? Pay mostly in cash. The list goes on….
37
u/BLT_Trade_r 1h ago
Yep, and then just use the money that would have been used for purchases to invest in your retirement and other smart financial decisions. To the IRS you would look no different than a frugal person.
65
u/Maximum-Objective-39 2h ago edited 1h ago
Yeah, thanks to innexorable advance of inflation a 100 dollar bill isn't that noteworthy any longer just so long as you don't spend it in a big institution.
Also, buying shit off of local market places.
Edit - Joke - "Finally, I can afford one stick of DDR5 RAM!"
→ More replies (2)5
u/SaturdayNightStroll 1h ago
On the other hand, so many places don't accept cash now.
6
u/Rockeye4510 36m ago
The goal isn't to spend the money as fast as you can. You'd still need to have an income to pay things that are tracked by the IRS like mortgage, insurance, cars, etc. The cash would just be used when you can, like fast food/restaurants, handymen, babysitters, movies, toys, games, etc.
4
u/ZedsDeadZD 27m ago
And that is A LOT. Hell, going to the gas station twice a month is 200$ already. If you save that and groceries, you can easily out 500$ in savings each month.
5
13
u/Odd-Concept-8677 1h ago
Yeah. It’s super easy to use cash to buy a second hand car off of marketplace, as long as it’s owned outright. Sellers are usually willing to underwrite the what you paid to “help you out with taxes” on it when you transfer the title. You can buy a 20k car, they say you bought it for 5k (if randomly asked how it’s so cheap you just say the motor was blown up. They can’t prove it) and boom. My paper trail only says I got it for 5k. Works for boats, jet skis, ATVs, etc… I’ve heard.
4
u/willynillee 1h ago
I’d stay away from items that need paper trails like cars or building work that requires permits with the government. You’d still have to register the car, and they can see that you bought and car and start digging around for where that income came from. You’d have to prove where the $5k came from either way and if it wasn’t from a bank account you better have a good story.
→ More replies (1)11
u/PickleNicks 1h ago edited 41m ago
I’d be careful with everyday transactions that are usually covered by credit card or digital payments. If those transactions drop off completely it’s another fairly suspicious data point that could compel someone (IRS, etc) to look deeper. To cover the occasional grocery store trip or night on the town, absolutely.
4
u/RollTide16-18 1h ago edited 27m ago
Ehhhh a lot of people already pay for everyday items with cash-only.
If you're worried about it, slowly convert to using your own cash for groceries and other such daily expenses for a year or 2. Just pull out $500-$1000 a month, that would be evidence enough. That shows a pattern.
The ultimate point is that nobody is actually going to ask you about this unless you get audited. Most Americans never get audited, so just live your life like normal, cover yourself a bit by pulling out cash from the bank every month. Work in the cash a few hundred dollars a month (maybe a few thousand several decades from now) and you're covering some essential expenses easily. $750k isn't enough to cover the majority of Americans for the rest of their lives anyway, so this is basically a nest egg to keep you comfortable and secure as long as you are employed and don't overspend.
4
u/elebrin 1h ago
That's why you stick to your consumables: dinner out, movie theater, the bar, buying gas, that kind of thing.
You can also have a few bank accounts at different institutions and launder the money by withdrawing cash then re-depositing more cash every week. Start with six bank accounts and divide your direct deposit evenly. Withdraw an inconsistent amount from all but one bank account five days a week. From the last account, skip a day (and rotate the bank where you skip). At the end of the week, deposit inconsistent amounts in the accounts: more in some, less in others, but enough to add up to the amount you would have taken out across all of them. Then pay for as much as you can in cash. That way you are slowly filtering your money into your bank account, but actually tracking what money came from where becomes very difficult.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)2
u/PartyFeisty2929 1h ago
Who is looking deeper though? This person can see your transactions and watches them close enough already to notice a change and then also has the resources to get to the bottom of why somehow? All off of a hunch essentially?
3
u/willynillee 1h ago edited 1h ago
The IRS has the resources and authority to pretty much do whatever they want to find out if you aren’t paying taxes.
→ More replies (1)2
u/Decimuswasright 2h ago
Paying someone to detail your car with cash is not paying them "under the table." Business would pay an employee with cash for it to be "under the table" instead of through their payroll system.
64
u/Martiddy 2h ago
Small transactions, got it!... Comes next day with a new Lamborghini
55
u/jim9162 2h ago
10
4
u/GrumpyOldmanSr 2h ago
I understood this reference, and I think this is the best-placed GIF in the universe of placed GIFs. Please accept my humble prize.
11
→ More replies (1)2
u/Saint_of_Grey 21m ago
The reason lamborghinis are so infamous is because they will sell those to just about anyone who walks in.
Hell, the dealer will help you fudge your numbers a bit to get the financing to go through.
10
u/neddiddley 2h ago
I’d add, limit those transactions to places unlikely to have security cameras, which is getting harder and harder to do.
6
u/Less_Interview1713 2h ago edited 2h ago
Grocery shopping at a cash discount business like winco. You can easily wash $1000 a month like this. Pay cash for gas and work as an Uber driver.
→ More replies (1)14
u/destonomos 2h ago
Tiny my ass.
Ill have subcontractors that work on “cash is king” starting up the next week.
Inground pool and patio
Back yard new fence
New roof on house
New sauna area and firepit lounge area
All bills would be paid in cash at the location
All incidentals would be in cash from this point forward.Done.
28
u/willynillee 2h ago edited 2h ago
You can’t do upgrades that require them to pull permits. That’s a paper trail right there. That’s how they start asking where you got the money.
You’d also have to continue paying your normal bills out of your normal income. Otherwise, that is suspicious: “We noticed your mortgage payment hasn’t come out of your account in over a year. How are you paying that?”
Sorry, you’re already caught.
5
u/SquirrelyMcNutz 2h ago
And when the tax assessor comes around to update your property tax records and sees all that new shit? That bill goes up.
2
u/destonomos 1h ago
Tax assessor doesnt have access to my back yard let alone my front door.
Ive built my life where you have to know me and know how to contact me before you can even press your palm on my front door. You will have to break at minimum 2 laws to even knock on my front door physically.
My houses nickname which is on an iron plate next to my front door says,” welcome to the compound”.
→ More replies (4)3
u/Suburban--Dad 2h ago
Not everyone lives where permits are necessary or required.
→ More replies (1)2
u/Cotillion512 1h ago
Out of curiosity, where could you realistically live that wouldn't require any permits?
→ More replies (2)2
u/willynillee 1h ago
Afghanistan. South Sudan. Somalia. Syria. Brazilian slums. I’m just guessing, but those sound about right.
12
→ More replies (1)2
3
3
u/Mordecai3fngerBrown 2h ago
Smart. Every purchase made day to day could be cash. Food, gas, clothes etc.
→ More replies (4)2
u/RollTide16-18 1h ago edited 1h ago
Yeah IMO this is basically "pay for every bit of food and drink (unless it is a super high-end restaurant) for the rest of your life"
The IRS isn't tracking whether or not you go to the grocery store. People already use cash only at grocery stores anyway. I have a friend who uses cash for everything he can, he pulls out cash every month as a way to hard-cap his spending (plus he likes the feeling of cash in his hand).
Just avoid an audit and you're fine.
263
u/TheTrailrider 2h ago
Go to a motel and count/check every dollar for any tracking devices. If all good, dump into another bag and all good. I don't want any Mexican hitman with bowl haircut coming after me.
31
u/C4rdninj4 1h ago
The post says it's been sitting there a year. If there is anyone tracking it they're doing a terrible job.
19
7
u/ExcitedSoup 44m ago
It's been taken many times over the year, yet somehow always finds it way back to the brush in the same spot soon after.
19
16
11
6
u/Skoodge42 2h ago
would a tracking device still have power after a year?
→ More replies (1)12
u/TheTrailrider 2h ago
Possibly, and there are such devices that don't require constant power to work
6
u/abd53 2h ago
The ones that don't require power supply to work needs the receiver to be about 10cm away.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (3)2
122
u/Sasquatch_Sensei 3h ago edited 25m ago
In a safe, in my house, keep very quiet, make small deposits, buy my groceries with as much cash as I can.
Edit: guys its been fun. But im tired if repeating myself and im not signing up to walk you through every tiny step in making change and hiding money. Its a hypothetical scenario and you lack imagination. Good day.
151
u/kytheon 2h ago
Too obvious that you're not using your money.
I would use it for life improvements that aren't tracked. House cleaning, a new backyard, two chicks at the same time, and so on.
55
16
u/Sasquatch_Sensei 2h ago
So use your account for monthly bills like rent and utilities. If they still manage to track down that you payed for food in cash and thats how they catch you then you were on a list already
→ More replies (1)7
u/vermiliondragon 1h ago
Yeah, if they're already looking at your grocery purchase history then you're on their radar some other way.
4
u/evilinsane 1h ago
Who is checking my bank account to see if I'm spending my money on food?
I mean, unless you deposit tens of thousands every week, no one gives a fuck.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (2)6
u/Valuable_Strike8052 2h ago
I've got one even better, two DUDES at the same damn time
→ More replies (2)5
14
u/licheese 2h ago
But, sir, we noticed that you barely use your debit card anymore. How do you do your grocery shopping? If in cash, why were there no withdrawals?
→ More replies (7)51
u/Sasquatch_Sensei 2h ago
So make a few purchases with the debit card. If someone is watching your finances THAT hard you're probably on some kind of list.
24
u/TesterM0nkey 2h ago
Yeah seriously I got paid in food for a while because of circumstances and didn’t have anyone come knocking for not buying groceries for months
→ More replies (6)8
u/licheese 2h ago
If one day you get suspected of anything, that's the first thing they'll look. How do you spend it and were. They know how much per months you're spending in each sectors.
7
u/Sasquatch_Sensei 2h ago
Ok. Again its pretty easy. Use you bank account to still pay monthly bills and hey, I happe. To have a $50 for my savings this week. Use your imagination
→ More replies (2)2
u/TM761152 1h ago
It goes back to the argument "Who pays for a car wash with 50's?".
You can't buy everything with just hundreds all the time, it will raise suspicions. You may have to break up your shopping between different areas but even then someone may notice a pattern (this guy only ever pays with crisp hundgys)
3
u/RollTide16-18 1h ago
Honestly you probably need to "show" you're using cash for groceries and the like if you're ever audited. So just mix and match the cash usage. You need to pull some cash out of your bank account every month, just pull out some 20s and 50s.
2
u/Sasquatch_Sensei 1h ago
Just freaking make change somehow. Its not rocket science. Dude seriously people in this thread need to just ignore that suitcase.
→ More replies (2)
56
u/DLitch 2h ago
That cash goes to buying groceries and gas. No need to launder it when it'll be used for small purchases over a long period of time.
5
u/Crazy__Donkey 1h ago
Even with 1000 a month it will take a life time to use all of it, while in the meanwhill it will depreciate alot.
Best way is to buy a house . Its easier than you think
11
→ More replies (2)5
u/TM761152 1h ago
Imagine buying a house.. with cash.. from a suitcase full of 100's. Totally not suspicious.
33
u/No_Director_2570 3h ago
Buy pc hardware and pokemon cards. Sell pc hardware and Pokémon cards
11
→ More replies (1)4
u/Improving_Myself_ 1h ago
Related: You can get a surprising amount of good stuff from places like FB Marketplace and Craigslist, and none of those people are going to be concerned about checking the bills. They'll be happy you showed up on time and paid in cash.
2
u/No_Director_2570 1h ago
OR. You dress and behave like a normal person, walk into a shop, buy a bunch of hardware and go home where you slash 10% off and yoink that on ebay. Let's say 5k a month worth of stuff. Nobody will bat an eye. If taxes are due, pay em cash, god knows you have it.
25
93
u/BannedGoNext 2h ago
I got a cash bonus of 30k once, just stuck it in the closet and used it for groceries till it was gone. It's really just that simple.
31
u/Ok-Gur-349 2h ago
For real. Suddenly become a cash tipper, no one would think twice about why you always have a few hundreds on you. Just old fashioned.
10
u/BannedGoNext 2h ago
We actually JUST did groceries, that way our daily spending habbits didn't change, our monthly allowance from the budget to each of us stayed the same. It was just less spending and more savings since anything left over other than the emergency level goes into a savings account at the end of the month. Essentially this dribbled the money into savings.
Yea yea inb4 look at mr big shot with a savings account.
8
u/Observe_Report_ 2h ago
How long did that take?
24
u/BannedGoNext 2h ago
Sadly, not as long as you might think. I support a family of 6 on a single income, and had 4 teenagers in the house. Also, we are pretty thrifty but do spend money on quality food to make at home. We go out and eat on birthdays as a family, otherwise if anyone wants to eat out it's their own money to do that. It took about 2 years, our food budget then was like 200-300 a week. Now, it's fucking depressing, I don't even look at it, my wife does all of that.
3
u/Goodgoditsgrowing 1h ago
Man, that’s rough. But also maybe investigate if you’re dumping all that stress on your wife and straining your relationship by keeping your eyes completely off it.
4
u/akatherder 1h ago
Some people just don't care, especially with something that is a necessity (to some extent) like groceries. I compare prices and stress about saving a few bucks. Change and tweak recipes to avoid some things, go without some things, etc.
My wife just buys whatever she wants and there's literally no stress involved. If anything it's a bit of "retail therapy."
To your point though even if it works out like that, grocery shopping is still an errand/chore that takes time and can be stressful. Especially since you're planning meals to some extent to figure out what you need. Usually whoever shops ends up with more cooking too.
→ More replies (1)4
→ More replies (2)5
u/neddiddley 2h ago
The difference is, in that scenario, you know that it’s not likely anybody’s looking for that money, and I mean those specific bills.
In OP’s scenario, you have no clue whose money it is, where it came from, or who or how someone may be tracking it, nor what means they have available to do so.
→ More replies (8)
21
13
9
u/Practical-Sink-3987 2h ago
The key here is to offset transactions. You go to the store and spend 3-400 and you pay 200 of it in cash and the rest on the card. Same with restaurants. Pay in cash for things that aren’t really traceable by the IRS like your landscaper or if you get some work done on your house.
2
u/highminlo 2h ago
Or buy assets from people you can buy with cash, sell assets on traceable market. Boom, clean momey.
→ More replies (5)3
u/Practical-Sink-3987 2h ago
That too but this is only 750k. You could easily burn through this while saving the offset money.
10
14
u/aquabarron 2h ago edited 59m ago
Start a go fund me for something true. It can be as dumb as you want, just don’t make up a disease or something else that could get you hemmed up in court. Maybe something you’d intend to use the money for anyways: “help me afford to buy a home for me and my family” or something. Provide your address for donations from people who don’t have online banking or e-commerce set up.
Congrats, deposit/use the money as needed. If anyone asks, anonymous people have been mailing in donations in small amounts. You can’t tell who they came from and you can’t confirm (more importantly the IRS can’t prove) that any donations came from the same person
EDIT: bonus points if you leave envelopes for the mailman to mail in other people’s mailboxes, then you can establish a paper trail without showing yourself on camera dropping the letters off yourself
2
→ More replies (3)2
u/Narco_Bi_Polo 1h ago
GoFundMe doesn’t handle cash. The campaign’s owner can report “offline donations”, but there’s no verification and GoFundMe makes that very clear. It’s also very simple for them to delete any campaigns they’re suspicious of (their ToS is brutal) and then require proof from you before they’ll release any digital funds.
“GoFundMe can’t identify the donor” is not equivalent to “the government can’t establish where the money came from.” And they don’t have to. All they have to do is establish it’s not where you claim it’s from and now you’ve committed a crime. Proving your lie about small cash donations would be as easy as interviewing the mailman that services your route.
If this is the extent of your plan, you may as well just say “a stranger handed me the briefcase on the subway.”
2
u/aquabarron 52m ago
How could the government establish money is NOT where I claim its from when my claim is “idk where it came from but it’s probably an anonymous donation from my GoFundMe.”
no return address on envelopes delivered to me, why is the burned if proof on me to know where those letters came from?Why would interviewing the mailman prove anything? Unmarked mail is being delivered to your house in the scenario.
→ More replies (2)
8
7
u/BoopinSnoots24-7 1h ago
Buy the crappiest example of a classic car possible. One that would be worth a lot of money if it were perfectly restored. Pay a restoration shop in cash to restore it. Sell it.
Anyone asks, you restored it yourself. Leave a paper trail of legitimate purchases for parts. Labor is the expensive part, and every labor dollar is now clean money.
→ More replies (1)
25
u/AnnualReview2383 2h ago
I would absolutely do the right thing and report the $650k I found
15
15
14
3
u/TurtleSandwich0 2h ago
It is incredible. This man walked up to a police officer and handed him $500k of found money.
2
13
u/TurtleSandwich0 2h ago
Deposit it in the bank, pay appropriate taxes for the new income.
FBI will get their standard form from the bank for a large cash deposit over $10,000. But that wouldn't be a "red flag", they are looking for money laundering, not found money.
9
u/neddiddley 2h ago
No, but the serial numbers on the bills might trigger a red flag.
5
u/TurtleSandwich0 2h ago
You are right. If the goal is zero red flags then we must avoid all possible red flags. My solution is inadequate.
→ More replies (1)2
u/RollTide16-18 1h ago
That would only matter if the serial numbers were cataloged prior. Like if it were a bank robbery.
→ More replies (5)4
→ More replies (1)4
u/BoopinSnoots24-7 2h ago
Most banks AML/KYC will flag this. And how do you categorize the income you're reporting to the IRS? You still have to account for the origin of the money.
→ More replies (4)6
u/TurtleSandwich0 1h ago
Ordinary income, as determined by Cesarini v. United States. Found money needs to be reported as income in the year that you found it.
12
u/Bengal_From_Temu 3h ago
Viva Las Vegas.
11
u/Emergency-Douche 2h ago
Yeah I'd be tempted to do something like this. Take out a loan for as much as I possibly could, to explain where the cash I was gambling came from. Go to Vegas and spend some. Report the remainder as gambling winnings and pay off the loan.
2
u/RepresentativeCat553 52m ago
Casinos are required to report large winnings and certain suspicious gambling patterns.
If those amounts don’t match you’re caught
8
6
14
u/Expensive-Notice-509 2h ago
clean the money thru gambling in small increments. you need at least 2 people to bet the opposite side of an even money bet. Baccarat is the perfect game for this. You bet $5k on banker and the other person bets $5k on player. banker pays even money minus 5% commission. Player wins has no commission. so the expected loss is about 2.5% of the $750k. Now the money is clean. Pay taxes on the winnings and you can spend the money however you want.
4
u/Astramancer_ 2h ago
Wouldn't odds/evens/red/black on roulette be about the same, but without having to involve a 2nd person?
→ More replies (1)4
u/Expensive-Notice-509 2h ago
this is just general example of doing it. In reality, this happens everyday and it has to be more sophisticated because the pit boss are actively looking for these type of schemes. You'll need more than 2 people and spread out the betting patterns over many hands/spins.
6
u/Maximum_Overdrive 2h ago
You would lose half if only one bets wins and one bet loses per hand.
4
u/Expensive-Notice-509 2h ago
one guy bets heads on coin flip and the other bets tails. it'd be net 0 if the 2 are working together. The winner will be logged in and paid by the casino with clean, circulated money.
2
15
6
u/james_a_hetfield 2h ago
Not hard. Old houses used to have safes in the walls and floors for this reason.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/TheSmokingHorse 2h ago edited 2h ago
I’d find a guy who sells luxury jewellery items and pay him $750k in cash for something he’s trying to sell me for a million dollars. The idea being that instead of me paying in finance, I am literally handing him a briefcase of cash, so he might settle that as a deal. I’d then take that million dollar watch and wear it on my wrist while I go to the airport and take a flight to Dubai. I’d then find a guy who sells luxury properties who also collects watches. I’d find a property valued at $1.2 million and offer the guy the rare million dollar watch instead. In order to avoid unwanted legal and tax issues, he’d just accept the watch as a gift and give the property to me as a gift, saying I was a good family friend. I’d then sell that luxury property for $1.2 million dollars legitimately, collect my earnings, pay my taxes and call it a day.
→ More replies (4)3
5
u/RollTide16-18 1h ago edited 49m ago
The easy answer is that you can just pay for groceries/dinner/drinks for the rest of your life with the cash.
The IRS isn't likely to audit you because they don't see grocery bills or eating out charges. You'll save hundreds to thousands of dollars a month.
You just need to avoid being audited. If you're worried about that then here's a simple solution:
Say you expect to spend $1000 a month on groceries and eating/drinking out. So of the $750k, you set aside $1000.
Pull out $500 from your bank account, ostensibly to pay for food for the month if anyone asks. That should be enough for someone to sustain themselves eating at home. These bills should be a mix of $20 and $50.
So now you have $1500 to spend in cash every month. Mix the usage of your bills, never only $100s, and occasionally pay for a portion of your food and groceries with your debit card or credit card. Always tip in cash.
Now what you've done is you've cut your food/groceries bill a significant amount, and whatever you have left over gets pocketed for small to medium-level purchases that can be made in cash. Think small-level home/lawn improvements, sports/movie/concert/event tickets you can buy in cash from a box office or scalper, computer parts, low-level jewelry and designer goods.
You're never going to be able to pay off your mortgage or any bills with this illegal money. But suddenly you can live a lot more comfortably. You will have to spend your left-over monthly mixed cash, but that should be easy for basically anyone.
3
5
u/taway9925881 2h ago
Do not confide in anyone and I mean anyone. Don't make any big purchases. Don't get drunk and run your mouth. Stay low profile.
4
u/T0m0king 2h ago
You can launder money pretty effectively buying and selling art , used cars , antiques , boats and bulk goods.
3
u/BoopinSnoots24-7 1h ago
This is a common misconception, if the idea is "buy with dirty cash and sell for clean cash". You still have $750k in your bank account with no way to account for it's origin. "I sold a painting" Ok, how did you pay for that painting in the first place?
There certainly are ways to use art, cars, etc to launder money, but it's really not as straightforward as people think, and those approaches can be used with a much wider range of assets that don't have a reputation for money laundering.
7
u/OG_Internet_User 2h ago
it’s extremely easy to spend cash. I’m already debt free so I would just put all my money into the market and use this money for the majority of my spending.
→ More replies (4)
3
u/Designer_Ear9180 2h ago
The hardest part would be acting normal after finding that much money
→ More replies (2)
3
3
u/Vonplinkplonk 2h ago
I would start my post with the word “hypothetically”, just to throw off the feds.
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/Snacks75 1h ago
No idea, but if I also found a shot up guy asking for water, I'd maybe give him water, maybe not. But I would not go back to where I found the bag.
3
u/Asluckwouldnthaveit 42m ago
You don't have to prove where you got cash if it's under 10k. Basically you'll just pay for everything you can by cash (which in Canada is a bit odd but whatever) and they rest through your regular source of income.
7
u/Leroyp331 2h ago
Find a podunk town with a shit police force. Report the money found. I believe the unclaimed property rule is 6months.
Since you are falsely reporting finding it in the wrong town ideally far away from where you found it. No one will be able to prove it's theirs and it will default back to finder
25
19
u/archercc81 2h ago
LOL that would be stupid. They would just claim its suspicious money and seize it under civil forfeiture.
→ More replies (7)
2
u/HomeBoggan 2h ago
Honestly? Only spend like 1,000 a month and maybe once every couple of years do 2,000 a month for one month. Most people and government agencies won't notice an extra tick up of a thousand. For most middle class people it creates a nice cushion for food / rent / medical. And don't break out any more than that until something comes up that becomes a weight risk such as life saving surgery / danger of it coming to light.
2
u/fortis_99 2h ago
Borrow money from bank to start a cash bussiness, like strip club or streetstall. Put cash in as revenue, slowly.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Sevenlord777 2h ago
I’d move it a little bit at a time. Wouldn’t do anything fancy because I don’t give a damn and don’t want to make it hot.
2
u/DAMON5280 2h ago
I would make a Reddit post about it. Throw em off the scent.
https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY
2
u/Chester_Warfield 1h ago
Don't ever say a word to anyone about it. Literally no one.
I'd go find a rest area or someplace without people and go through it carefully and make sure it's clean, no paint packs or tags or a bomb or fingers or drugs. Likely leave the bag in a dumpster. This is a little under 20lbs of bills that can fit into a backpack, so not a crazy amount to hide in your car. Then find a way to make sure it's real and not fake.
Just don't make any bank deposits, no gifting it away, or buying big ticket items. Like anything over a grand could look off to me just to be insanely careful. The serial numbers could raise a red flag so you have to be very careful. No paying court fines or anything, no casinos or places where a lot of money is transacted and recorded.
Groceries, gas, resturants, clothes, tools, you can spend that much over a decade.
2
u/ValitoryBank 1h ago
Use it on normal groceries and basic stuff. My actual work money can go to bills
2
2
u/lastgateway 1h ago
Gas, groceries, restaurants, anything you can pay cash at. You can pay most of your household bills through check cashing places with cash. You could deposit some in your savings and checking, just don't exceed 10k at a time and be careful on that one.
Then you take your reported income into investments, retirement etc.
2
u/matty_nice 1h ago
Home improvement. Most tradesmen and laborers will accept cash. Can ultimately sell the house for legal income. Buy a bigger house.
2
4
u/Inevitable-Squash163 2h ago
in a safe.
increase 401k to max, and reduce all card expenses to the minimal living expenses.
dont change lifestyle, but any expenses beyond "need" is done in cash.
2
u/HighSeasArchivist 1h ago
I'd max out all retirement accounts, 401k, 457, MERP, all IRAs, and then sprinkle that into daily life to "live on."
If it was $750Million the government wouldn't give a shit as long as you cut them in.
1
1
1
u/gapipkin 2h ago
Landscapers and home improvement guys would have my house voted best on the block. Inside I’d have a finished basement with a home theater, game room, new floors and a walk in shower.
1
u/Observe_Report_ 2h ago
Groceries, gas, restaurants, cash deposit into checking account once in a while
1
u/Next-Street-7859 2h ago
Too big of an amount to not arouse suspicion even if you knew it was there for at least a year...How do they know the timeframe, though? Did they see it a year ago then go back to find it's still in the same spot or was there a dated piece of paper inside? Lol
This is an oddly specific and descriptive question, even for Reddit 😂
1
1
1
u/Avid_Reader87 2h ago
Fly to Vegas a couple times and then deposit money while I’m there into my bank account.
Pay taxes, transfer a bunch to my brokerage and gamble on there, if I win, pay taxes and repeat.
Start paying down extra on my mortgage.
1
u/Restposten 2h ago
I've watched no country for old men. So I would give that 700k USD to the police.
1
1
1
1
1
u/AbaloneIron 2h ago
Cash for gas and groceries. Then slowly build a business where you are flipping used items on various apps.
1
1
u/Illustrious_Back_441 2h ago
slowly add it to my bank account as though I have a second job that pays well, then I'll pretend like I got fired from it after depositing my last amount in
1
u/Idontfeelold-much 2h ago
The golden rule, if it comes in as cash it has to go out in cash. Start an LLC as a business front and start the laundry.
1
u/Competitive-Read1543 2h ago
If you have good credit, get a mortgage and use the cash to pay off your mortgage. Even better if it's a rental property since it won't draw suspicion if you go and pay the mortgage in cash at the teller
•
u/AutoModerator 3h ago
Hey /u/OpenComet_, thank you for posting to r/SipsTea! Make sure to follow all the subreddit rules.
Make sure to join our brand new Discord Server to chat with friends!
We have recently changed how posts work. Unless you are a VIP poster, your post will be queued for approval.. To become a VIP, post great engaging content. If we like it, you will be added! More information available here!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.