r/Whatcouldgowrong • u/Three_Armed_Wrecker • 7d ago

Sometimes it's better to just stick to bike lanes

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14.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

469 comments sorted by

6.5k

u/clothanger 7d ago

The audacity to act like they have just survived something UNPREDICTABLE.

3.4k

u/Cicer 7d ago

Trains are renowned for leaving no tracks and jumping from behind blind corners. 

710

u/Fugaciouslee 7d ago

I wouldn't want to be on a train that leaves tracks. They need to stay on those.

169

u/DarthBen_in_Chicago 7d ago

The trains that I used to track all stayed on track.

116

u/squirrely-badger 7d ago

Kudos, being trained to track trains is tricky and, most people don't know, requires extensive training and a steadfast train of thought.

66

u/amedinab 7d ago

In fact, once the train has trained its eyesight on the track, it is very hard even for a track runner to outrun the train while traversing the tracks, no matter how trained they are on track track running. Tracking the train at that point is a trap, any cracks in your track trek plan are mostly likely a trick by the tram. 💀

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u/aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh 7d ago

How many tracks could a train track track if a train track could track tracks

5

u/BeneficiallyAwkward 7d ago

Thank you 😂🤣😂

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u/iconocrastinaor 7d ago

I can help you, I'm a train tracker trainer tracker.

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u/Electronic-Hair9385 6d ago

I'm a train wreck

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u/arbredespayschauds 7d ago

Thanks, my brain is satisfied 🫡

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u/maxington26 7d ago

That tracks

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u/habel69 7d ago

Hello avatar friend

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u/DarthBen_in_Chicago 7d ago

Hello! We are like twinsies!!!!

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u/KaMaFour 7d ago

Welcome to track renewal trains

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u/similaraleatorio 4d ago

THIS boy is leaving tracks ✌️😌

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u/No_Session6015 7d ago

Snowpiercer was an epic train! And it had smaller trains that could lay tracks ahead of it

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u/holyfire001202 6d ago

Well they are India's top predator.

Edit: I responded to the wrong comment

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u/Oneill5491 7d ago

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u/Dull-Credit-897 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/t9ctG5MZhyyU8

Damn that is funny,
Anybody know where it is from?

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u/Oneill5491 7d ago

Comes from the spoof comedy "Wrongfully Accused" https://youtu.be/MjbUnn32_zU?is=EE1Os9FM-bNN75Es

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u/Dull-Credit-897 7d ago

Thanks added it to my list of things to watch

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u/TD373 7d ago

Thanks for this! Reading some of the comments above made this scene come into my mind.

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u/PlasticCell8504 7d ago

Trains are really unpredictable. Even in the middle of a forest two rails can appear out of nowhere, and a 1.5-mile fully loaded coal drag, heading east out of the low-sulfur mines of the PRB, will be right on your ass the next moment.

I was doing laundry in my basement, and I tripped over a metal bar that wasn't there the moment before. I looked down: "Rail? WTF?" and then I saw concrete sleepers underneath and heard the rumbling.

Deafening railroad horn. I dumped my wife's pants, unfolded, and dove behind the water heater. It was a double-stacked Z train, headed east towards the fast single track of the BNSF Emporia Sub (Flint Hills). Majestic as hell: 75 mph, 6 units, distributed power: 4 ES44DC's pulling, and 2 Dash-9's pushing, all in run 8. Whole house smelled like diesel for a couple of hours!

Fact is, there is no way to discern which path a train will take, so you really have to be watchful. If only there were some way of knowing the routes trains travel; maybe some sort of marks on the ground, like twin iron bars running along the paths trains take. You could look for trains when you encounter the iron bars on the ground, and avoid these sorts of collisions. But such a measure would be extremely expensive. And how would one enforce a rule keeping the trains on those paths?

A big hole in homeland security is railway engineer screening and hijacking prevention. There is nothing to stop a rogue engineer, or an ISIS terrorist, from driving a train into the Pentagon, the White House or the Statue of Liberty, and our government has done fuck-all to prevent it.

12

u/Sam_The-Ham 7d ago

This is the kind of laugh I needed today. Thanks!

10

u/not-yet-ranga 7d ago

Love seeing this in the wild!

4

u/SpCommander 7d ago

this is the kind of quality shitposting that keeps me coming back to reddit.

3

u/BarskiPatzow 7d ago

damn those wild trains, I'm sorry for your wife's laundry.

3

u/iconocrastinaor 7d ago

For an early warning of this dire concern, be sure to read the gritty 1945 expose, Tootle by Gertrude Crampton.

2

u/SmellyFbuttface 7d ago

Much like Tommy Tuberville claiming there are numerous “furry” airline pilots, at least 70% of train engineers engage in BDSM. We need stricter hiring requirements!

2

u/iBeej 6d ago

I now have a new fear of trains. I also have my washer and dryer down in the basement, and it sounds like there is high probability of this happening? My water heater is also right next to the washer and dryer, but I replaced it with a wall mounted tankless, so there is nothing for me to jump behind. I have NO COVER AT ALL.

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u/15th_imp 6d ago

this guy trains

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u/SplendidAngharad 7d ago

Trains always ride single file to hide their numbers

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u/no-steppe 7d ago

They're experts at it, too. Even better than Sandpeople!

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u/Novel_Substance_ 7d ago

Love this comment 

24

u/Stranger1982 7d ago

Apex predators really.

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u/Arryu 7d ago

Is there a chance the track could bend?

20

u/HideThe-Sun 7d ago

Not on my life, my Hindu friend

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u/no-steppe 7d ago

Take my upvote, both of you monorail-pimping sales-studs!!

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u/GodisanAtheistOG 7d ago

Once they've tasted human blood they have to be put down otherwise they discover that they don't actually need the tracks at all...

5

u/Eric_the_Barbarian 7d ago

You can even look at the top surface of the track in the video. That is an active track.

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u/Toadcola 7d ago

Trains always ride in single file to hide their numbers.

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u/avidpenguinwatcher 7d ago

Are they acting like that?

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u/Strawbalicious 7d ago

What redditors think being outside must be like

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u/Drunken_Wizard23 7d ago

If it were me in that situation I wouldn't have reacted to narrowly avoiding death at all. I would have simply recognized the consequences of my actions and tipped my cap to the train out of respect. I'm just built different /s

12

u/whataboutcecilia 4d ago

Not really. The translation is

"If the train comes we're dead, you know?"

And then, when the train is approaching

"the train"

And while it passes

"My bike, do you think it hit it?"

So they were very aware of the train

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u/Cstott23 7d ago

Haha the other guy poking his head in the tunnel, just checking its actually a train 😂

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u/Strawbalicious 7d ago

Obviously checking to see if the bike left behind is intact.

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u/Cstott23 7d ago

Surely the best time to do this is when there isn't a train coming past?

There's a whole bunch of people who never had access to the Roald Dahl train safety book and it shows 😛😁

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u/speedisntfree 7d ago

As kids we could not stop laughing at this

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u/magiciansnephew 2d ago

I see where Hereditary got its inspiration.

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u/Icy_Fish_2154 7d ago

He was gauging if they could have stood against the wall. Nope, that's death...

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u/nuraHx 1d ago

I think he’s checking how much room they actually would have had between the wall and the train.

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u/addamee 7d ago

“tRaInS nEeD tO sHaRe ThE tRaCkS!”

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Coffeedemon 7d ago

They're like the people who look in the direction the train was going when they get to drive across a railway crossing once it passes. Hey, you never know!

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u/RangerBowBoy 6d ago

In their defense, who could have ever predicted a train might be coming along the train tracks?!? I mean, what am I expected twist!

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u/kylo-ren 4d ago

Well, the guy starts the video saying: "If the train shows up, we're dead"

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u/GuildensternLives 7d ago

“Wow, we barely survived getting crushed by that train! Lemme stick my head right next to the speeding train and this sliver of an opening.

898

u/HowardHessman 7d ago

He’s got his helmet on

335

u/cuntmong 7d ago

Coroner: "good news. There was no trauma detected on the decapitated head we found" 

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u/The-Unholy-Banana 7d ago

There was nothing to traumatize there

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u/PM-me-your-knees-pls 7d ago

Hope he’s adjusted the strap properly. It’s important to make sure it’s a snug fit.

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u/byzantine238 7d ago

Oh no worries then

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u/EishLekker 7d ago

Which in theory could make it worse. The risk of hitting the train increases slightly because his head plus helmet is bigger than just his head. And whatever hits him could cause the helmet to snag on it.

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u/lollipopp_guild 7d ago

Good point. I hit the top of my head all the time because I forget there’s extra head above my eyes. If I had a helmet on, that would increase the height of my unseen head, therefore, increasing the chances of me hitting it

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u/Successful-Day-3219 7d ago

Ah yes, the invincibility helmet 👍

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u/GarlicThread 7d ago

To protect his stupidity

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u/someotherguyinNH 7d ago

Clearly that dude has not seen any Reddit videos about what happens to people who get close to trains.

I have. I ain't never getting that close to a train unless it's to get on it and it's stationary.

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u/CompoteNext1955 7d ago

For some reason people are really bad at understanding how much force a train has. IDK how or why people can act nonchalantly around them when the smallest thing could go wrong and it's over before you know it

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u/Bizarrebazaars 7d ago

“Ain’t never” huh…… hm

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u/joshwaynegacy 7d ago

You ain't never heard no southerner speak before?

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u/someotherguyinNH 7d ago

I use y'all a lot too. It's such an awesome, convenient word. One of my best friends in law school was from Louisiana, I picked up a lot of his southern speak

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u/joshwaynegacy 7d ago

Idk how anyone gets by without using Y'all, it's so useful. "You's guys" just doesn't hit the same

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u/RedPanda7725 7d ago

"Wow would ya look at that, it's still coming!"

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u/snypre_fu_reddit 7d ago

I think he was trying to see if the other guys bike survived. Still stupid to not wait.

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u/sepaoon 6d ago

A bit more of "oh you left your bike? let me see if it's okay." Sticks head in the exact spot that if the bike did get caught it would be drug out of the tunnel at high speed and obliterate you...

https://giphy.com/gifs/WXmOOwhb6nU1sVs5f1

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u/Novel_Substance_ 7d ago

That was dumb doubling down on stupid

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u/fullraph 7d ago

I need to know if the bike made it!

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u/Three_Armed_Wrecker 7d ago

The bike made it. Infact they went back got thr bike and proceeded to the other side like nothing ever happenned

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u/Illustrious_Car344 7d ago

How did I guess they went right back in.

I mean I would guess another train wouldn't be too close behind to avoid collisions, and that doesn't sound wrong. But there's a difference between YOLO and suicide lol.

134

u/Everything80sFan 7d ago

I would guess another train wouldn't be too close behind to avoid collisions

I wouldn't be too sure of that

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u/Fearless-Poet-4669 7d ago

Lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao.

My first reply was too short apparently. Mods don't feel like one lmao conveys enough laughter.

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u/obscht-tea 7d ago

I don't know what the rules are there, but here, the train driver would have 100% definitely called the train dispatcher, the track would have been 100% completely closed, and the federal police would be looking for those two. Only after the police clear the track will a following train come along at a slow speed. And then people wonder why trains are late. These two morons here!

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u/exbiiuser02 7d ago

Ah , Germany.

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u/PsychologicalOne5416 7d ago

No one deserves to have to clear two morron's corpses out of the railing, and a train driver shouldn't have to see someone's brain splattered accross the windshield

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u/obscht-tea 7d ago

I think they're complete idiots. Still, they don't deserve to be run over — better a few years right to jail.

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u/robotsdottxt 4d ago

I think when you encounter a frightening situation that could end your lfie, it's very important that you repeat the situation as soon as possible, to avoid developing a phobia.

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u/shadowless007 7d ago

Omg what? Some people have the survival instinct of a wet towel

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u/TriforceTeching 7d ago

Are wet towels suicidal?

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u/NZpotatomash 7d ago

Safer to go in after a train than before

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u/August_Rodin666 7d ago

Almost wish there was a second train.

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u/aksdb 7d ago

A train never crosses the same spot twice ... or something.

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u/OmniaLoca 7d ago

I was going to say… counterintuitive but they would have had a higher chance of surviving if they tucked themselves into the lower corner of the tunnel ahead of their bikes. Good thing they ran quickly

Like they say- if you’re going to be stupid you need to be tough

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u/DookieShoez 7d ago

I hope it didn’t

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u/CzarDM 7d ago

I would've walked the bike home and apologized to it

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u/james-HIMself 7d ago

The best way to avoid these situations is to not put yourself in them

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u/Femcel_Bambi 7d ago

Cave diving

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u/Fugaciouslee 7d ago

Diving in general really. The YouTube algorithm keeps feeding me cave diving incident videos and honestly the majority of the deaths don't even seem related to the fact that they were in a cave. Someone's gauge is broken and doesn't read the correct amount of air, another just didn't bring the right type of gas for the dive, or maybe they just go up too fast. There were surprisingly few deaths related to someone getting lost or stuck. One guy survived for a couple of days in an air pocket after getting lost and was found alive to the surprise of rescue divers. The worst part is that so many deaths are experienced divers so that's not even the issue. Diving is just dangerous.

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u/FaithlessnessThick29 7d ago

Scary interesting YouTube channel has a great set of these stories. I like falling asleep to them

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u/Fugaciouslee 7d ago

Yeah, that's one of the channels. I've been working out with them on.

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u/twoscoop 7d ago

is the air pocket the ship crash?

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u/Fugaciouslee 7d ago

No, this was in a cave in I want to say Brazil. Group goes in, one guy gets turned around from the silt in the water and ends up in an air pocket. One of the divers called a diver friend in Florida if I remember correctly. He and a friend who are experienced rescue divers think it's already too late and reluctantly go expecting to be pulling a corpse out. To their surprise he's alive and they manage to lead him out.

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u/VincentPepper 7d ago

I imagine a lot of the cave "unrelated" deaths would still have been fine in open water.

Some of your attention being spent navigating a complex environment just means you have less attention to spend on identifying problems early. Then add that a lot of problems go from "the dive ends early" to "your life ends early" if they happen in a cave, and it's not that surprising to me.

Diving is dangerous. But not absurdly so. I found this comparison of risk for various activities interesting: https://chessintheair.com/the-risk-of-dying-doing-what-we-love/

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u/JackfruitIll6728 7d ago

I really like swimming and snorkeling, and even diving without any gear, but something about diving with full gear just creeps me out. Without any gear just casually watching fishes etc. you're usually pretty safe and even if you dive, you're not that deep that something bad would happen. I just couldn't trust the gear so much that I'd start diving deeper than I could without the gear.

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u/jimlahey2100 7d ago

Mr. Enlightened over here.

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u/RicTicTocs 7d ago

Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is a train

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u/cyb3rg0d5 7d ago

And then BAM! 💥

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u/vagabond_primate 7d ago

Came here for this comment. Leaving satisfied.

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u/Strikeronima 7d ago

And sometimes you dont see that light and it becomes hellfire.

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u/capnmax 7d ago

The first one anyway. 

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u/PrestigiousRoof5723 7d ago

And sometimes it's a cyclist. And sometimes it's both.

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u/im-a-loser- 23h ago

That's a Metallica lyric I believe...

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u/Kevadu 7d ago

If only there were some way to predict where a train might be

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u/Illustrious_Car344 7d ago

Trains actually follow a very subtle chemical trail, like ants. But it's virtually undetectable to humans. 

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u/Flyrpotacreepugmu 7d ago

Is steel a chemical? I've never thought of it that way before...

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u/-NotAnAstronaut- 7d ago

Well, yes it is.

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u/Proof-Highway1075 7d ago edited 7d ago

Technically, isn’t everything? Literally every substance known to man has a chemical formula consisting of a combination of different elements in a specific pattern, so if the criteria is “has a chemical formula” (and that effectively is the definition), the answer is yes.

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u/Kevadu 6d ago

If you really want to get technical, steel is an alloy. Which does not have a strict chemical formula. It's largely a combination of iron and carbon, yes, but the exact ratio can vary. The iron and carbon are not bonded in a strict lattice structure or anything.

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u/Illustrious_Car344 6d ago

Well met, you must be a train breeder. 

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u/TexturedTeflon 7d ago

They also are notorious for coming and going at times that are impossible to predict.

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u/qenis 6d ago

When we were kids we would touch the rails with our hands - one could feel the vibrations of a train coming from miles away.

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u/bicycle_jedi 7d ago edited 7d ago

This happened in Volta Redonda, state of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, in 2018.

"Hey, Felipe, if a train comes we're dead, you know that right?"

"Pedal, man!"

"Oh shit! There it is!"

"My bike! You think it got hit?"

Full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XABk9YxIqj0&t=107s

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u/SonofaBridge 7d ago

Amazing that the bike survived. I guess it was laying flat and just far enough from the train wheels.

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u/Sam_The-Ham 7d ago

Dude was literally gambling with his life there for a moment to make sure his bike wouldn't get crushed.

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u/mail_inspector 7d ago

And it's not like he could do anything about it at that point anyway.

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u/Rolen47 7d ago

It's crazy, he was only 2 seconds away from death. He fumbled around with that bike for way too long.

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u/DSonla 7d ago

So Felipe is the bad influence. Got it.

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u/bicycle_jedi 6d ago

"This is the last time I listen to you, Felipe!"

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u/Natural-Mountain3568 7d ago

I consider myself fairly stupid.

But I didn't know how much worse it could actually get.

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u/flipflopcuntflaps 7d ago

Have you ever lived in a small town?

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u/Bombdy 7d ago

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u/sphinxorosi 7d ago

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u/WhippingShitties 7d ago

Agh my legs! What an odd cluster of trains!

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u/GracieThunders 7d ago

ended too soon, I wanted to see gow badly the bikes were crushed

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u/Money-Editor-3992 7d ago

The bike survived

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u/ProfessionalFun2926 7d ago

Gotta admit sometimes it’s a shame that Darwin awards aren’t awarded,
https://giphy.com/gifs/lfJSEoiUxG66Q

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u/Mixma85 7d ago

They are.

But for some reason, the winners never show up to accept their award.

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u/PrestigiousRoof5723 7d ago

Sometimes they do. There are other ways to remove yourself from the gene pool than dying.

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u/xd_Shiro 7d ago

No way he sticked his head there after they barely survived that dumbfuck idea.

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u/ChanceConfection3 7d ago

I’m getting a sense that these guys may not be the smartest specimens.

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u/retardfull69 7d ago

Lucky the train slowed down for their stupid ass

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u/DrunkMonk138 7d ago

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u/icewalker42 7d ago

Scrolled too far for this reference. lol

https://giphy.com/gifs/BEsjSV496sDLy

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u/InebriousBarman 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/K88pemIqP0oMg

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u/R0n1n_76 7d ago

Yeah i was thinking, "what in the Wile E. Coyote are these idiots doing?"

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u/aninjacould 7d ago

Peaking around the corner was dumb. If his bike had been snagged by a train car …

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u/Anubis-Hound 7d ago

Go through the dark tunnel of misery and death or go up the sunny hill? Gosh that's a hard choice to make.

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u/Starchaser_WoF 7d ago

The light at the end of the tunnel is a train!

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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 7d ago

I wouldn't go ten feet into that tunnel without already having the published train routes/expected times for the region up on my phone.

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u/Claude-QC-777 7d ago

Classic train comming towards you in the tunnel scene be like:

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u/Tobbitus 7d ago

Honey, does Tide remove brown from black bike shorts?

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u/_Bon_Vivant_ 7d ago

They would've easily heard that, had they put their ear to the rail before entering the tunnel.

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u/Drak_is_Right 7d ago edited 7d ago

Yes. If trying something this stupid you have to check for vibrations. Heck, even if just walking an open track, occasionally check for vibrations. If the wind is blowing the wrong direction the train can get surprisingly close before you hear it

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u/PrestigiousRoof5723 7d ago

Extrapolating from their demonstration of perfect logic, it would end with the camera recording a nasty guillotine moment.

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u/Confident-Fold1456 7d ago

Well at least they know it's clear.

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u/LindyNet 7d ago

I think I've heard a metaphor like this

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u/Strong-Carrot-6021 7d ago

I was rooting for the train.

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u/Kelmor93 7d ago

Thought the guy on the left was a documented ghost sighting...

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u/BusyBit6542 7d ago

From what I remember about this tunnel is that its the only way unless you want to take some crazy ass route they add hoursss (I forget how many but it's a lot).

There's no safe place to stop in this tunnel as you can see.

I did something like this in Thailand but on a bridge to see a Buddha in a cave. Basically if a train can, you had to hang on he edge or fall 50+ feet. Locals assured us that no train would be coming while we were there. A lot of them were walking on it as it was a bridge to a parts of their town. Shit was scary but no trains came.

*attached a photo. Doesn't seem like it but it's a big fucking drop off this bridge

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u/575_Pilot 7d ago

Did the bike ask for a divorce when they got home??

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u/SteakDouble 7d ago

Sometimes you need to catch the train, sometimes the train catch you.

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u/CanuckTheClown 7d ago

Drivers get a lot of unwarranted criticism from cyclists for being dangerous on the roads. But every cyclist I’ve ever seen rides with this same level of concern for both their own, and anyone else’s safety. They’re the most dangerous people on the roads, by far.

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u/SierraRomeo 7d ago

Straight out of Looney Tunes

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u/jomigopdx 7d ago

I so was waiting for that bike to come shredding out of the tunnel

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u/No_Sides_To_A_Story 7d ago

The same thing happened to me in Red Dead Redemption 2 and my horse didn't make it.

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u/OddDig3966 7d ago

some people deserve to die

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u/nirvana249 7d ago

Apex predator!

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u/DJ_Vasquezz 7d ago

They were expecting one of you in the wreckage brothers

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u/Connect_You_5837 7d ago

Idiots on bikes

1

u/Flyin-Chancla 7d ago

“Can I get a pump bro?”

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u/magnidwarf1900 7d ago

Completely optional btw

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u/SonofaBridge 7d ago

The tunnel is so skinny because it’s almost like the builders knew exactly where the train would be and how perfectly it would stay in its lane. They don’t expect people to be stupid enough to go through it.

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u/Old_Engineer_9176 7d ago

They just missed out on the Darwin Award.

https://giphy.com/gifs/JWnXY237vWeX3zx64V

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u/PdxPhoenixActual 7d ago

Pro tip : If you cannot see the other end of the tunnel, DO NOT GO IN.

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u/PrestigiousRoof5723 7d ago

Pro tip 2: if the other end of the tunnel seems to be too shiny, it's not the other end of the tunnel.

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u/CU-L8terAaligator 7d ago

Now why on earth would he do that?! Smh

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u/Narrrz 7d ago

This is not helping my opinion of cyclists

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u/benfok 7d ago

Damn! Darwin missed them by THAT much.

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u/Odd-Bend1296 7d ago

At least this wasn't in India.

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u/Ceeti19 7d ago

Why not put your ear to track and listen?