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u/gjboomer 1h ago
Had a woman come up to me sitting at the bar. Started to talk, she was VERY forward. I showed her my ring and she said, “I saw it, it doesn’t matter to me if it doesn’t matter to you.”
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u/Dafish55 29m ago
Once I get married, I'm hoping I can have at least one situation where this happens to me and I can hit them with, "Oh I'm sorry, but my husband is the bi one."
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u/lizzyote 2h ago
Between the "forbidden fruit" and the whole "a woman has already vetted this guy as Safe", it not surprising that a wedding ring causes more interactions with the opposite sex. Unfortunately, men have a bit of a history of not seeing the difference between the two lol
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u/Tyfyter2002 1h ago
a woman has already vetted this guy as Safe
There are plenty of people with absolutely terrible judgement, why would you trust that someone is safe because someone who might be one of them thought so?
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u/lizzyote 1h ago
Because there are more people that dont have terrible judgement. If I avoided everything that had the potential to be dangerous, I'd have to never leave my home...and even that isnt entirely safe either. And women that treat all men like theyre potentially dangerous aren't treated very kindly for being that level of cautious.
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u/Tyfyter2002 1h ago
I'm not saying you need to avoid everything that might be dangerous, just that specifically trusting the judgement of the one person who did marry him isn't doing much for your safety
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u/lizzyote 1h ago
The alternative is to treat all men like they're potentially dangerous then.
Its not about fully trusting a man based on the judgement of a single stranger. Trust isnt a black/white, either/or topic. It's a sliding scale. It's typically a safe bet that a married man isnt going to attack you in public but that doesnt mean you should let him lead you into a dark, secluded alley lol. The odds of a married man attacking you is a lot lower than a non-married man.
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u/nissen1502 1h ago
Because people are stupid and irrational. I agree with you, it makes no sense to assume someone is a good person just because they're married. Absolute scum have gotten married for as long as marriage has been a thing.
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u/lizzyote 1h ago
You dont have to be a good person to be labeled as safe to interact with in public.
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u/Mindshare-Feather729 1h ago
He proved that exact point by jumping straight from "paying attention to me" to "hitting on a married man".
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u/Remote-Bus-5567 3h ago
Or they just feel like they can talk to him without him being a creep because he's married.
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u/unicornlocostacos 2h ago
This was my first thought (and certainly part of it), but I do think there’s some relevance in the meme.
I remember the change when the ring went on. I was getting hit on constantly. When I asked women friends about it, they would tell me it’s because I’m seen as someone who can commit. Ok…but if I fuck them, that kind of unravels that whole commitment thing, right?
Maybe it’s all a conspiracy of women working together to test husbands. While that level of global coordination seems unlikely, it would at least make sense.
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u/Turbulent-Ad8391 2h ago
More than some, After I got married I was hit on at least once a week and straight up offered it on a platter. Lost my ring about a year ago now and not once has it happened. I liked my ring and don’t want to replace it, I know the general area of my yard that I lost it and have spent countless hours trying to find it :(
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u/gattzu20 1h ago
Use a metal detector? Can get one pretty cheap
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u/Turbulent-Ad8391 42m ago
I have one but my land used to be a junk yard a long time ago so every shovel full has a good amount of metal
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u/Annanymuss 1h ago
In that case scenario you are seen by those as someone who can commit AND "they" are the "exception"
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u/throwawaydisposable 1h ago
but if I fuck them, that kind of unravels that whole commitment thing, right?
I've heard that it is more that you have been "vetted" by another woman.
Also, some people like forbidden fruit. It is validating to feel like you're so hot that a person will ruin their life/marriage because of how hot you are.
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u/_Featherstone_ 46m ago
//vetted//
If someone vetted him and he's a cheater, I'm not doing much with her judgement.
(For clarity: not blaming the victim, just saying any 'vetting' gets overruled by someone being a scumbag).
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u/throwawaydisposable 34m ago
They are not being "vetted" for loyalty. The implication is that they aren't a bum, and there is something about them worthwhile enough that another woman wanted it for the rest of her life. The belief being that most men suck - even if they don't cheat on you.
I am not saying this is a healthy mindset, I am explaining an unhealthy mindset. Yeah, you aren't doing much with their judgement because you're probably trying to live a healthier life than that.
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u/PaxEthenica 2h ago
There's no conspiracy; you can commit to a relationship, so you're free/safe to flirt with in a friendly way. Like, they don't want to tempt you, necessarily, more like they want to be safe having fun in the ways that EVERYTHING IN THEIR LIFE taught them how to have fun as a woman... that somehow just so happens to signal sexual & emotional availability. ... It's a mystery why that is. 🫠
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u/Harbinger2nd 1h ago
Nah, this is a real phenomenon. Its called preselection, another woman already went through the hard part of making sure he's a good partner so he becomes more attractive to other women because he's already passed "the test".
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u/DocThel 59m ago
Can you explain what you're trying to claim?
Do you think that women can't have fun doing anything else beyond engage in sexuality? No surprise this misogynist garbage is being upvoted.
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u/PaxEthenica 14m ago
You don't know me any more than you can read; that isn't what I said.
Guy above me made a corroborating observation with thread OP, along with a relatively easy to make assumption regarding the potential of women violating social norms now that he's married. I pointed out that, given the patriarchal nature of common society, combined with the nature of human learning & behavior, that comfortable, flirty vibes aren't necessarily a temptation to infidelity. Rather, coming back to the patriarchy, as children, girls are taught behaviors - regardless of individual intent - that signal sexual/emotional availability is what is done when comfortable/ready to have fun. And that I think that isn't exactly the greatest state of things, as indicated by the melty-smile-this-is-fine emoji.
Don't white knight me until you learn how to read.
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u/Vendidurt 1h ago
I think it speaks less about an ability to commit, and more about the fact that you are "pre-approved". OBVIOUSLY you were doing something right in order to attract that first woman, right? Well, now you are intriguing.
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u/No_Internal9345 17m ago
The ring shows you've already been vetted as husband material.
Easier to steal a husband than find one in the wild.
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u/Saint_of_Grey 9m ago
You've passed the great filter. You got another woman to agree to marry you.
So they'd rather try to pawn you instead of deal with the general dating pool.
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u/smolpeensadboy 5m ago
Were you asking women that hit on married men? If not then they're also just guessing. From what I've seen, these are just flirty women that can now flirt with someone without that someone pushing for sex, hopefully.
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u/thekyledavid 1h ago
Because anyone delusional enough to seek out a committed relationship with a married person thinks they are different and nobody would ever cheat on them
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u/HypocriteHere 52m ago
Maybe some. But, many specifically flock when they think you're taken. I've experienced it a million times over. It's gross.
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u/beardingmesoftly 1h ago
I'm married, and my wife says I'm handsome but who knows. I definitely started getting hit on more once the ring went on. It's basically a seal of approval, and there are many, many women out there who only want to take a vetted man from somebody who already did the vetting. It's a thing.
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u/D_Luffy_32 2h ago
I wish that were true
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u/josebolt 47m ago
maybe? I am a stay at home dad and when the kids were little I of course would take them grocery shopping with me. Plenty of times women would ask me for help with stuff on their own volition. All ages too. Something about a dad with his kids. I mean being a good dad doesn't exclude me from being a creep, but they just assumed I wasn't.
I don't thinks its out of the realm of possibility that some women would see a married man, especially an older guy and think its a safer bet. Misguided as it may be.
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u/reportedbymom 1h ago
Well... i wish that would be the reason but the wedding ring trick makes getting laid in your 30's and 40's so frekin easy. Say what you say about morality of it but like the op's ss says, i am not the one hitting married man.
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u/deadinsidelol69 48m ago
This is it. I’m a gal in construction and will absolutely stick to the guys who wear rings. I’m not interested, I just know they’re way less likely to harass me.
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u/thotfullawful 1h ago
That’s literally it. I mean I’ve met guys who think basic interactions are flirting so that tracks.
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u/Impossible-Yam-9613 43m ago
yeah that probably makes a big difference too people tend to relax more when they feel there’s no weird pressure involved
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u/Existing_Home_5635 27m ago
Same sentiment towards the ladies who say, “men will have a whole wife and kid but be staring at me.”
No sweetheart I’m staring/scanning/observing everyone in my vicinity to ensure my family’s safety.
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u/TheLuminary 1h ago
Yup, this is my theory.
Most men think that anything other than running away kicking and screaming, is some type of flirting/interest.
Women are going to take a chance on a neutral conversation with a married man because there is a smaller chance that he will proposition her. They are likely not "hitting" on him. He just has no idea.
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u/Peaurxnanski 2h ago
Maybe I'm just an idiot but my take on this is that men often mistake women being nice and paying attention to you as her being "interested".
As a result, women tend to be more reserved around single men than married men, because they perceive married men as less of a threat of the conversation devolving into him misreading the situation and shooting his shot.
Once you have a wedding ring, she probably feels more empowered to interact with you and men continue to misread that as interest.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are a number of women who have a "forbidden fruit" kink, but I doubt it's anywhere near as substantial as many commenters and the OP are suggesting.
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u/ostapenkoed2007 1h ago
both that and in reverse. some get flirted with and think it is nice. some assume it is flirt when she's just being ncie.
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u/Peaurxnanski 51m ago
Yeah that too. Women could be a bit more assertive, but the reason they aren't is mostly societal because a woman that says what she wants is a slut.
So we're simultaneously saying "tell us what you want" at the same time as saying "if you're assertive and say what you want you're an immodest whore".
Bud I am very glad I'm not a woman, let's put it that way.
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u/TasteCicles 33m ago
Perhaps as a society we should just stop calling women sluts and whores then.
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u/Peaurxnanski 29m ago
Yes, that's exactly my point.
We've created a situation where women are essentially forced to communicate cryptically, and then complain about it.
The solution certainly isn't to insist you know what they want. It is to develop a rapport to where they become comfortable with being able to tell you what they want.
But that takes effort and many men aren't interested in that.
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u/TheBestHater 1h ago
Pretty much this. If they mistake kindness for flirtation then they get angry if they are rejected and blame us. When a dude is taken we can relax and he's basically just one of the girls.
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u/Peaurxnanski 1h ago
The funny thing is that all of these misunderstandings would so easily be avoided if men would just fucking listen instead of insisting that they know her real motivations and insist they "know" what's really going on.
I'm a 46 year old straight dude that likes to screw just as much as the next guy, and it blows my mind how any of these guys even get laid, ever. They've spent their entire lives insisting that they know what women "really want" but the reality is that women have been telling them their entire lives but they're too fucking stupid to listen.
Develop a relationship and a rapport. Don't just start the conversation with a quick introduction and "so hey you wanna fuck or what?" That's what she's trying to avoid. That's why she's reserved around you until you're either established as "not a threat" or as someone she would like to fuck.
It can be either of those reasons that she opens up to you, and if you're wearing a wedding band, chances are extremely high that it's the former (you're not a threat) rather than the latter.
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u/HTD-Vintage 1h ago
Until you have a few drinks and start trying to take my clothes off. Then suddenly I'm the asshole for rejecting you.
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u/Peaurxnanski 46m ago
I'm not sure what you mean with this statement? Like I said I'm an idiot... are you saying the married man is doing this?
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u/HTD-Vintage 38m ago
No, I'm saying that sometimes when men feel safe in this situation because they have a partner but also have a group of female friends ("one of the girls"), that boundaries get crossed the other way too because she felt "safe" with you. Not to mention all the other ways people try to take advantage of each other under the guise of friendship.
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u/alwayssunnyinskyrim 2h ago
I bet 99% of the time it’s just women being normal and friendly, and men interpret that as sexual interest. All that really happens when men get married is that women don’t put as much effort into actively avoiding casual interactions with them, because they feel safer about not being aggressively hit on. Most women stay pretty guarded around single men.
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u/Bana_berry 1h ago
This. I immediately avoid any interaction with men that seems like it could morph into an attempt to sleep with me. I’m generally more cordial with married men because I can let my guard down a bit since the odds that having casual conversation will result in them wanting to sleep with me are drastically decreased.
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u/SucksUnlimited 1h ago
Idk, maybe instead of that you should believe the very common lived experience of men when they tell you about it. Or just make up your own phantasm, your choice.
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u/Puffywiggles64 34m ago
If wearing a ring genuinely attracted women, you'd see tons of single guys actually doing it.
But they don't, which leads me to believe it does fuck all.
And now that I think about it more, it definitely hurts your chances overall. Even if it does attract a few women of dubious morality, your fake ring is gonna turn away any remotely normal woman.
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u/alwayssunnyinskyrim 32m ago
I completely believe that it does result in more attention from women; for the exact reason I said. They’re just being normal now and having casual conversations like they would with anyone else. All these men are experiencing is women not avoiding them for the first time in their lives, and they’re so delusional they think it means every woman who interacts with them wants to sleep with them. Which is basically the reason why women avoid single men so much in the first place.
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u/Puffywiggles64 26m ago
Single guys should start setting up dating profiles and set their status to "Married". According to the atrocious logic on display itt, they should start getting more matches than ever.
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u/alwayssunnyinskyrim 24m ago
The married men in this thread should start suggesting a hookup to the women casually chatting with them, if they’re so sure women want them so bad. And then come back and report how it went.
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u/LarianDivinityBG3 1h ago
Men think basic friendliness is flirting, it isn't.
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u/Dull-Jelly8193 45m ago
"What are you doing tonight? Is your wife here?"
Man, those sure are some friendly women
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u/alwayssunnyinskyrim 41m ago
Both very normal casual conversation questions that women ask any friend or friendly acquaintance of any gender. This is exactly what I mean about men mistaking normal friendliness for sexual interest.
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u/Dull-Jelly8193 40m ago
At a bar? Coming over and sitting right next to you? Like, thighs touching?
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u/alwayssunnyinskyrim 36m ago
You seem desperate to convince yourself that any women chatting with you are hitting on you. “Being at a bar” and “sitting next to you” are just like… normal things that happen to people who exist. All that’s really happening is that once you’re married, women don’t feel the need to actively avoid you any more. You seem safer to make casual conversation with. The way they act with you now is how they act almost all the time, to most people.
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u/Dull-Jelly8193 29m ago
I'm sorry but if you're trying to dismiss a woman walking up to a guy who's alone at a bar, sitting right next to him and making sure there's physical contact between them, who eventually asks if he has plans that night and checking whether his wife is there with him, then you're the one who's absolutely desperate to convince themselves it's just a friendly chat.
You do understand that "men don't know when women are flirting with them" is just a stereotype, right? You are aware there's a lot of men who have no problem telling the difference? Especially men who grew around women?
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u/alwayssunnyinskyrim 26m ago
This entire thread proves that it’s not just a stereotype. Go ahead and read from the top, it’s absolutely packed full of delusional men who are completely certain than women who just… talk to them normally, are definitely sexually interested in them. It’s embarrassing and pathetic. All they’re really proving is that women should avoid married men just as much as we avoid single men, because they’re not actually capable of seeing us as human beings or socializing normally.
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u/Dull-Jelly8193 20m ago
Sure buddy, all these men (and some women) they're all just lying and/or delusional. But you, who's never experienced what these people are talking about, you're the one who's right and who knows better.
Keep burying your head in the sand and pretend 50+% of the population are all too dumb to understand social interactions. I'm done here.
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u/alwayssunnyinskyrim 1h ago
They think that because most of them would never be kind or friendly to a woman they’re not attracted to.
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u/Harbinger2nd 1h ago
because they're starved for attention their entire lives they can't tell the difference between flirting and friendliness.
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u/alwayssunnyinskyrim 43m ago
They’re starved for attention because any mild friendliness is aggressively misinterpreted as sexual interest, so women learn pretty damn quickly that it’s not safe to pay attention to men at all.
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u/MsOvernight1013 22m ago
I speak differently with married men than I do with unmarried men because I am under the assumption that marriage is monogamous, therefore being friendly shouldn’t give the wrong impression.
Now I wonder how many people were assuming flirtation.
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u/smolpeensadboy 3m ago
Which is crazy because unless these women are directly saying "let's fuck" these "I'm not a mind reader" men shouldn't be assuming shit.
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u/micre8tive 1h ago
I was with him at first because I’m a stickler for objectivity and consequences…but then I noticed…
…he’s saying Women paying attention to him = Hitting on him 🤔. Makes the whole fake sm post, justice-fantasy scenario fall apart 😔
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u/merchillio 2h ago
I think there are a few things being mixed here.
1- some women do prefer to go after married men, “forbidden fruit” and all that, and they are bad people
2- many men confuse friendliness from women for flirting, and a man being open about being married will seem safer to be friendly with
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u/NRMusicProject 1h ago
With every other comment saying it's either one or the other, you're really the one who nails it by basically saying not everyone has the same exact reason to do something.
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u/latenerd 1h ago
When males say this, I never know if they're noticing women actually flirting with them? Or if the woman feel like, yes, it's safe to be friendly to this guy now bc he won't think I'm coming on to him... and then he thinks she's coming on to him.
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u/Lisshopops 1h ago
Nah women do tend to approach married men more there’s dozens of credible statistical research on it
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u/Pofwoffle 1h ago
All I've been able to find are a few with very low smaple sizes, and some that find that women often rate married men as more attractive, but not that they'd be more likely to actually approach married men. Which makes sense, since a man being married means he's got at least one person vouching for his worth as a partner, and women in general don't tend to focus quite as much on physical attractiveness.
If you've got a study with a reasonable sample size that actually found a way to directly measure people actively approaching married vs. unmarried men I'd love to see it.
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u/helsinkirocks 1h ago
No, it's real. When I was married the number of women who were actively in my dms wanting to hook up or try to talk dirty or whatever was crazy. Having been divorced 5 years now, it hasn't happened a single time lol
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u/O0OIlIO0OlIl0O0lIl 25m ago
If you’re just trying to bang, now is the time. Divorced women put out easily, especially if they were in a “sexless” marriage. But I don’t have randoms sneaking in my dm anymore either (but I’ve also been off of social media for 4 years now)
This has been my experience since I’ve been divorced for the past 6 years.
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u/Ok-Idea-306 1h ago
This what I figure is happening. I was guilty of it too when I was younger. Not being hit while being married, I mean misinterpreting being friendly for genuine attraction.
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u/g-row460 1h ago
That's probably a factor. I get hit on occasionally. I lost my ring like three years ago. I think it's confirmation bias. I've seen no significant difference in frequency whether or not I'm wearing a ring.
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u/DontTryToFindMe1 18m ago
I definitely think it is the second option, as that has been my exact thought process being friendly with men I am not attracted to, who happen to be wearing a wedding ring lol
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u/winterbird 3h ago
Or women are talking to him like a normal person more because if he's married then maybe he won't openly be a creep toward them, and he's being a creep anyways and taking normal interactions the way a creep would take it.
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u/Mattbl 2h ago
This has happened to me many times in my life - I am a safe spot for women to talk to b/c I'm not weird or creepy, so they often have gravitated towards me in certain situations. It's pretty obvious when it's happening, as there is a drastic difference between a woman in that scenario hitting on you or just wanting to have a normal conversation with a normal person.
I'm sure there is the opposite of this happening, too, though. But it's not a monolith, either way.
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u/DefiantStarFormation 2h ago
It's pretty obvious when it's happening, as there is a drastic difference between a woman in that scenario hitting on you or just wanting to have a normal conversation with a normal person.
I'm guessing this is also part of the reason women see you as a safe space, bc in my experience there are a shocking amount of men for whom this is not obvious.
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u/D_Luffy_32 2h ago
Can confirm the opposite. I've known multiple women who hit on/flirted with men who are in a relationship. It's close to what you're saying though. Women trust other women. If a man is trusted by a woman enough to date/marry him then other women will view that man as more attractive.
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u/winterbird 2h ago
As a woman, not just someone who has "known women"... no.
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u/D_Luffy_32 1h ago
I'm not asking about you personally though. I'm talking about my friends who have done this.
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u/Kwaku-Anansi 19m ago
Tbf how many of your friends are attempted homewreckers? Not exactly a fair cross-section of the female population. Maybe your friend group just leans more sexually immoral.
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u/Dull-Jelly8193 13m ago
Not OP, I know at least 3 women who have explicitly said they prefer sleeping with married men. They're not friends by any means, but I absolutely know they exist.
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u/Kwaku-Anansi 4m ago
Similar question: what context do you know them in? I have met far more than three men that freely shared they were cheaters, but usually in situations that made clear they were outliers (drunk creeps in bars, douchey guys in parties, etc.).
Just seems these posts lead to (not-so-subtle) generalizations about women as a whole while simultaneously being anecdotes about the exact subset of the population that are likely to relish being a side piece
That is like extrapolating all redditors as being weirdos based on experiences in a degenerate subreddit.
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u/D_Luffy_32 12m ago
About 6 for sure that I know of. But the biggest evidence for this being the case is my own experience. I'm a more feminine guy. And I've had women be more comfortable around me when they thought I was gay. But upon finding out that actually have a girlfriend, they then change to a flirtatious behavior. I've had to distance myself from female coworkers because of.
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u/Explicitstate 1h ago
Dudes cutting out all the genuine women he could be dating instead he’s getting attention from people who are willing to cheat… I’m sure that’ll be great for relationships. Lol
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u/pilgrim_pastry 1h ago
It’s also possible that they’re just being friendly around him because they believe their friendliness won’t be mistaken for romantic interest if he’s off limits. Which, if true, he’s kind of proving to be a good choice.
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u/jhusapple 1h ago
I dont think its what he thinks it is. If I know a man is married I can be freely friendly without leading him on. Its SAFE to be ourselves.
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u/thomaspatrickmorgan 57m ago
Pretending to be married when you're not is far less unethical than the reverse!
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u/poeticentropy 54m ago
I noticed a big difference too but more often than not its because they feel like they can interact with you without coming off like they're flirting with you. In other words you're safe to talk to because you're taken. So cool those jets bro
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u/aaron_adams 1h ago
Sad, but undeniable this attitude does indeed exist in some people. Forbidden fruit and all that. Additionally, some people feel as if they got something to prove by trying to show themselves and everyone else that they can take someone who is with someone else.
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u/BlackberryMacaron 1h ago
Yep, before my now husband and I got together , women never noticed him, which is crazy because he’s such a cool person and quite a hottie if I do say so myself! Now they’re all over him. It’s embarrassing to watch them shoot their shot but also kind of funny 😄.
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u/Fun-Grab-9337 1h ago
According to every other woman on this thread they are not shooting their shot and just being friendly and treating your husband as a "real person" now lol.
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u/BlackberryMacaron 37m ago
Yeah and I agree with them 99% of the time. My husband has even talked to me about how hanging up our wedding photos in his office at work has helped the relationships he has with his women co-workers. But there is always that 1% of people of all genders that are secretly insecure, manipulative, and want what they can’t have.
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u/parkz88 1h ago
Do you think it has anything to due the easier vetting of a guy? If he is married he must have some redeeming qualities, a job, probably good sexual health. Idk
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u/xBeerBaronx 1h ago
"Preselection", yes. There is even a subsection called "The Wedding Ring Effect".
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u/RustedMauss 2h ago
I feel like I get more attention at 40 being married, with kids, having a house, and being a dog whisperer. I enjoy it, but my internal 19 year old is like WTF.
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u/jcillc 1h ago
Wear the ring for awhile, long enough to leave the ring indent, then go out without it. I often take my ring off when I'm performing (otherwise I fiddle with it onstage) and that's the only times I get hit on after a show. ("I noticed you're not wearing your ring anymore more... Can I buy you a drink?") *I've never acted on this; my wife is aware and things it's cute that I get hit on after 24 years of marriage.
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u/LaniusCruiser 1h ago
Honestly? I don't think pretending to be married is unethical. Like maybe if you were going so far as to invent a fictional person for tax benefits related to being married, that would be unethical, but just wearing a ring is totally fine.
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u/Harbinger2nd 59m ago
You're not gonna find good partners like this, but if your intentions are short term 🤷
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u/xStealthxUk 1h ago
I disagree. since I turned 38 and am now married, I get hit on way less that I did in my 20's...... oooh wait I see whats happening, never mind
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u/Lisshopops 1h ago
Yall clearly haven’t been in this position before in these comments, the fact is women tend to go for married men more than men tend to go for married women. Strangers coming up to you and floating interactions or friendliness especially when you’re in a relationship isn’t right and it’s important to read into people’s behavior.
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u/I_SHIT_IN_A_BAG 1h ago
you don't even have to be married. just dating a woman will have others looking at you. if shes out of the picture, the scent is gone
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u/Thegn-Hrothgar 1h ago
I'm thinking you might have to be slightly good looking for this to have an effect.
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u/evilweps 55m ago
I had a friend who did the same, his opener was “ever had sex with a married man” while he was showing the ring
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u/CitizenHuman 33m ago
Scrubs had a whole episode about this, but it was the opposite I believe. Carla was invisible with the ring on, hit in constantly with it off.
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u/jevlajevuljevlasme 23m ago
After my divorce I used to go to hotel bars and just sit and have a beer alone wearing my wedding ring. Was so easy picking up married women on business trips that only wanted a little adventure. The wedding ring gives the unspoken rule that we should act discreet and that both of us are only after something temporary.
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u/DizzyMine4964 14m ago
He thinks any woman who was polite to him is hitting on him. He is as wrong as it is possible to be.
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u/Mini6cakes 11m ago
So alternate theory. Women are more talkative with this man because he is wearing a wedding ring and safe to talk to. Less likely to make it sexual, hopefully less likely to be creepy because a woman has willingly married him etc. but this dude being the brilliant bro he is sees this ‘attention’ as sexual. He is still the problem.
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u/masteraybe 3m ago
I think it’s because women feel slightly more comfortable around married men because of the assumption that he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.
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u/FickleOwl47 2m ago
Need more context.
Paying more attention can mean many things. Openly hitting on? Being more conversational?
Friendlier and more conversational may just be because since they think he’s married they’re not worried about their actions being interpreted as interest.
If they’re offering to have fun in the bathroom stall, that’s different.
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u/psylockecolossusfan 1m ago
I also think some women feel more relaxed when a guy is taken because they think he might not creep on them. Safe to be goofy and nice without someone taking it as romance
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u/Pretend-Wealth-6988 32m ago
It’s like HR. They don’t want to hire you unless you already have a job.
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u/Far_Balance_3117 2h ago
Forbidden fruit is the sweetest.
I have seen this myself personally.