I think Rumi has gone off the deep end

Türk dizilerini bu konuda direkt pas geçiyorum. Adam karısını 14 kişiyle aldatır, mafya kurar, adam vurur, ikinci aile kurar, üç sezon boyunca her türlü rezilliği yapar sıkıntı yok ama eşcinsel karakter görünce bir anda RTÜK spawn oluyor. 🙃

Ama benim anlamadığım, bu yabancı film ve dizilere ne oluyor? Onların bu konuyu işleyişi de bazen bana acayip cahilce ve sığ geliyor.

Özellikle evli bir adam karısını başka bir erkekle aldattığı anda senaristlerin elinde sanki tek bir senaryo var:
— Karıcım, sana bir şey söylemem lazım…
— Ne oldu?
— Ben aslında gayim.
— 😱
— Evet… Bunu 25 yıldır kendimden bile saklıyordum. Bir de o adama âşığım. Boşanmamız lazım.

BİTTİ.

Yahu başka ihtimal yok mu? 😅
Adam biseksüel olamaz mı? Karısını gayet seviyor ama gidip bir erkekle kaçamak yapmış olamaz mı? Yaşadığı şey tek gecelik olamaz mı? Ertesi sabah “Ben ne yaptım lan?” deyip hayatına devam edemez mi?

İlla o erkekle göz göze geldikleri anda 20 yıllık evliliğini sorgulayıp gerçek benliğini keşfetmesi gerekiyor.

Bir de aldattığı erkek tipi acayip standart. 50 yaşındaki evli adam mı? Karşısına yine 45-50 yaşlarında, sakallı, erkeksi bir adam çıkarıyorlar. İkisi viski içerken bakışıyor, olaylar gelişiyor falan, aşırı klişe 😂

Gerçek hayatta insanların tercihleri çok daha çeşitli. 50 yaşındaki biseksüel bir adam kendisinden daha genç veya daha feminen bir erkeğe de ilgi duyabilir. Femboy tarzından hoşlanabilir mesela. Ama dizilerde sanki karakter yaratma ekranında sadece “orta yaşlı maskülen gay #2” seçeneği açık sadece 🤷🏻‍♂️

Biseksüel erkek konusunda da ayrı bir gariplik var.
Dizide çapkın bir erkek karakter görüyoruz. Adam önüne gelenle yatıyor. Garson, komşu, patronun kızı, eski sevgilisi, arkadaşının sevgilisi… Adamın libidosu Birleşmiş Milletler gibi, herkese açık.
Ama bir erkek?
Yok kardeşim, orada çizgimizi çekiyoruz. 🤫
Çünkü senaristin kafasında çapkın erkek = heteroseksüel.

Bir erkek hem kadınlara hem erkeklere ilgi duyuyorsa da çoğu zaman birkaç bölüm sonra “Aslında ben gaymişim” noktasına getiriliyor. Biseksüellik sanki karakterin kalıcı yönelimi değil de gay olduğunu anlamadan önce geçtiği tutorial bölümü gibi kullanılıyor.

Ben “gerçek hayatta her evli erkek gizlice erkeklerle yatıyor” demiyorum tabii. Söylemek istediğim tam tersi: Gerçek hayatta eşcinsel cinsellik bu kadar matematiksel değil. Bir erkek başka bir erkekle birlikte oldu diye otomatik olarak karısına karşı bütün hisleri sahte olmuyor, o erkeğe aşık olmak zorunda değil ve kendisini gay olarak tanımlamak zorunda da değil.

Ama film/dizi evreninde evli adam + erkekle aldatma gördüğüm anda sonunu tahmin edebiliyorum:
“Ben yıllardır kendime yalan söylüyormuşum…”
Tamam abi, anladık. Bir kere de biseksüel çık, bir kere de femboyla ol. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Bu arada keşke Türk dizilerine de eşcinsel karakterler düzgün bir şekilde girebilse. Ama öyle arka planda iki bölüm görünüp sonra buharlaşan karakterlerden değil, hikâyenin merkezinde olan, cinselliği heteroseksüel karakterler kadar doğal işlenen karakterlerden bahsediyorum.
Düşünsene: 50 yaşındaki karizmatik başrolün yolu 18’lik tatlı, feminen bir erkekle kesişiyor, diğer ilişkileri nasıl gösteriyorsa öyle gösteriyor 🤭

Reytingi de ayrı merak ederdim. 😂
Normalde “Türk dizisi mi? 2,5 saat bölüm mü izlenir abi?” diyen bazı erkeklerin:
— Karıcım bu akşam yeni bölüm vardı değil mi?👨🏻‍🦱
— Sen bu diziyi izlemiyordun ki ?👩‍🦰
— Ya denk geldi işte, sen aç. 👀
diye televizyonun karşısına kurulacağına dair ufak bir şüphem var. 🤭

A dolphin was found to be suffering from severe wounds after being cut free from a fishing net off Seven Mile Beach, the Department of Environment says.

Red Sail Sports dive staff found the animal entangled in the abandoned “ghost net” around 8.30am Wednesday, 30 Sept. They managed to cut the dolphin free from the net, which also held a dead shark.

Azim Mulla of Red Sail Sports told Compass TV, “We weren’t sure if [the dolphin] was alive or dead. We jumped into the water and cut off the lines and found it was alive.”

Alex Edwards, also of Red Sail, said it was a large net and the team had to move quickly to free the injured animal. “We had to get three jet skis out there. We all had to move pretty fast so the net would stay on top of the water and not catch on any rocks,” he said.

They informed the Department of Environment and the Coast Guard was also notified.

This screengrab from video shows the injured dolphin after being cut free from the fishing net. – Photo: Supplied

‘Severe wounds’

The department said the Coast Guard confirmed around 10am that the rough-toothed dolphin appeared to be suffering from several severe wounds.

“Photos and videos were sent to the DoE who consulted with an international marine mammal veterinarian, as well as the veterinarian from the local Dolphin facility,” the department said in a statement.

It said that it was advised that the nature of the dolphin’s injuries indicated that it would likely require six to 12 months of “dedicated, specialist rehabilitation”.

“Even if the animal survived the stress of capture, such a facility or the required expertise is not available in Cayman,” the department said.

The dolphin was seen about a mile offshore heading out to sea.

The Department of Environment said its officers continued to patrol the area up to two miles offshore on Wednesday but did not see any further signs of the animal.

“While injured wildlife is a concern to everyone, marine mammal rescue in particular is not a simple undertaking and without proper dedicated rehabilitation facilities and trained personnel, responding to marine mammal rescue incidents is not within on-island capacity,” the department said.

Ayer le marque a locatel para que me asesoren de mi Situación (se los vuelvo a resumir, no voy ala escuela pero NO ME MALTRATAN) y el que me atendió me dijo que aunque les diga que no quiera que me separen de mi familia ellos lo evalúan y que es una moneda al aire que nada me asegura que no lo hagan, y como he mencionado en todos mis post no sufro maltrato y me cuidan super bien

Y entonces tengo otras ideas en mente

Por ejemplo pedirle ayuda a los vecinos y que ellos hablen con mi mama y eso, y continuar sin el DIF

Porque también lo que estoy haciendo es que un amigo le esta mandando mensajes fingiendo ser un vecino y que el metió la queja, así que como ven banda? Y que otras ideas tienen en mente

Hi Baylor,
I'm helping organize a student challenge, like a hackathon at a tolling conference and wanted to send out to students. Amazing cash prizes, and a potential for recruitment for industry and networking. The program will culminate for the top three teams in Arlington at the IBTTA conference mid November. Sign up closes soon!

Any students can sign up as a team of 3-5 people. Engineering, marketing, CS, any majors!

Details below: https://www.ibtta.org/ramp-driving-future-mobility

First Place Team: $2500 and technology prize

Second: $1250

Third: $500

On-Ramp: Driving the Future of Mobility is a student-focused competition designed to introduce college students to the myriad careers in tolling while creating direct pathways into the industry. Students will work in teams to develop creative solutions to real-world transportation challenges and receive guidance from industry mentors and professionals. On-Ramp: Driving the Future of Mobility addresses a critical workforce risk, an aging workforce, limited career awareness, and gaps in succession planning, by building a visible, action-oriented talent pipeline that benefits students, member organizations, and IBTTA alike.

Is there no way to assign surplus budget to goals? I don't use up all my money for groceries, have $300 left over. I want to put that into my Savings goal. I can't, unless I make Savings a category and not a goal. This means I can't track progress on how much savings I am making per month.

Also is there no way to take out money set aside for goals in net-income? In other words, is there an easy way to see how much spending money I've been saving? (I don't want to create an off-line account with the physical savings)

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I have two Life Size Gears of War Lancers and a District 9 Arc Generator that I'm trying to sell. Any help is appreciated.

(TL;DR ganz am Ende)

Hallo zusammen!

Mein Partner (M28) steckt aktuell in einer schwierigen Phase. Er war zuvor ein ganzes Jahr im Burnout und hat erst diesen Monat wieder angefangen zu arbeiten. Nach seinen eigenen Erzählungen begleiten ihn solche Zyklen schon sein ganzes Leben: Es gibt Phasen, in denen alles gut ist, und dann wieder Phasen, in denen es ihm schlecht geht – das kann sich mal über Monate, mal über Wochen oder auch nur tageweise ziehen.

Das Belastende für mich (W/28) ist, dass diese Phasen oft urplötzlich kommen. Eben war noch alles gut, und von einem Tag auf den anderen vollzieht er einen extremen Rückzug: Sprechen fällt ihm schwer, jedes Wort „tut ihm weh“ und er zieht eine emotionale Mauer hoch. Von Therapie hält er leider nichts. Er war zwar mal kurz bei einer Therapeutin, ist aber überzeugt, dass nur er selbst sich heilen kann. Er ist sehr reflektiert und braucht oft einfach nur Zeit, um Dingen selbst auf den Grund zu gehen, aber er will das allein mit sich ausmachen.

Ich habe über die Zeit gemerkt, was unbewusst seine Dynamik in solchen Phasen ist:

- Er verlangt oder fordert nie explizit, dass ich bei ihm bin. Ich spüre aber ganz deutlich, dass ihm meine bloße physische Anwesenheit im Raum guttut. Ich bin in diesen Phasen sein unbewusster Anker und seine Sicherheit, während er mit sich selbst komplett überfordert ist.

- Zwischendurch gibt er mir trotz der emotionalen Kälte immer wieder ganz kurze, liebevolle Gesten – zum Beispiel, indem er kurz mein Bein streichelt oder morgens unbedingt den gewohnten Abschiedskuss möchte. Er braucht in diesen winzigen Momenten offenbar selbst die Rückversicherung, dass zwischen uns alles gut ist und ich noch da bin.

- Sein „Optimalfall“ wäre, wenn ich als stabile Konstante im Raum bin, seinen Abstand respektiere, aber selbst nicht traurig, verunsichert oder beleidigt reagiere – weil ihn das zusätzlich belasten würde.

Ich möchte eigentlich genau diese starke Partnerin für ihn sein und mir verinnerlichen, dass er seine eigenen Kämpfe kämpft. Wir sind auch noch nicht ewig zusammen (2 Jahre), und da er sein Leben lang niemanden hatte, auf den er sich verlassen konnte, möchte ich Rücksicht nehmen und Verständnis zeigen. Ich erwarte gar nicht, dass sich ein jahrzehntelanges Muster von heute auf morgen auflöst, nur weil ich jetzt da bin.

Mein großer Zwiespalt ist aber:
Wenn er so umschaltet, bin ich am Anfang logischerweise erst einmal irritiert. Mein erster Impuls ist, dass Verlustängste hochkommen und ich denke, es hat etwas mit unserer Beziehung zu tun. Wenn ich dann rational nachdenke, wird mir zwar schnell klar, dass es nur eine seiner Phasen ist – aber es enttäuscht mich einfach innerlich, dass wir immer noch an dem Punkt sind, an dem er sich mir nicht öffnet, sondern sich verschließt.

Ich fordere in diesen Momenten keine Gespräche oder Nähe ein. Wenn er mir sagt, dass es ihm nicht gut geht und er Raum braucht, gebe ich ihm diesen Raum sofort und halte mich selbst zurück. Aber es verletzt und verunsichert mich innerlich trotzdem.

Das Einzige, was ich mir von ihm als Mindestmaß wünschen würde, ist eine kurze Rückversicherung: „Mir geht es gerade nicht gut, ich brauche meinen Raum – aber zwischen uns ist alles gut.“

Ich stecke fest zwischen dem Wunsch, sein sicherer Hafen in diesen Zyklen zu sein, und der Realität, dass mich seine emotionale Unerreichbarkeit innerlich trotzdem sehr belastet.

Kennt ihr diese plötzlichen Phasen und die Rolle als „stiller Anker“ für einen überforderten Partner?

Erkennt ihr diese kurzen Gesten der Rückversicherung trotz emotionaler Distanz wieder?

Wie geht ihr damit um, wenn der Partner Therapie ablehnt und sich wegen alter Muster schwer öffnet?

Wie schafft ihr es mental, euch in den Tagen abzugrenzen und nicht selbst in Enttäuschung oder Verunsicherung zu kippen?

Wie zieht man gesunde Grenzen, ohne vom Partner Unmögliches zu erwarten?

Ich freue mich sehr auf eure Erfahrungen!

TL;DR:
Mein Partner (nach 1 Jahr Burnout frisch zurück im Job, lebenslange Zyklen) fällt urplötzlich in eiskalte „Shutdown-Phasen“, in denen ihm jedes Wort wehtut und er komplett dichtmacht. Er fordert nie Nähe, braucht aber unbewusst meine physische Anwesenheit im Raum als Anker und gibt mir zwischendurch ganz kurze Gesten der Rückversicherung (z. B. Abschiedskuss, Bein streicheln). Ich respektiere seinen Raum und dränge ihn zu nichts, aber die plötzliche Unerreichbarkeit verunsichert mich in den ersten Tagen extrem. Ich suche nach Erfahrungen von Angehörigen, wie man in dieser Rolle als „stiller Anker“ mental stabil bleibt und sich gesunde Grenzen setzt, ohne vor Verlustangst oder Enttäuschung zu zerbrechen.

Thursday, October 1sr, 2026 (Log) (Update) [11:44AM/PST]

So..I’ve been here at the Eugene’s Mission Shelter/Rehab facility for a week now..

I’ve decided to try out the program..and if I don’t like it..ill simply leave..

Apparently this place has a big reputation for helping others..We’ll see about that..

Iam not fooled by the overly nice people here..along with the lowkey military/government workers lurking around..

I have to be honest..It feels weird.. Feels like a rehab/prison.. with weird “mind control” games..which isn’t working on me..

I’ve been “moved upstairs” meaning- I have joined a program..and have to take a “class” a day..and if I don’t..I get kicked out the entire facility..

There is a routine\~

Daily. 1.) Wake up call. Beds must be made by 8am. Leave the dorm room. (if not don’t you are marked down) 2.) Sit in the big waiting room. (This is your free time) 3) Check in with navigator AND take the one class that’s mandatory. 4.) Must shower daily. 5.) Be back in dorm by 4pm. 6.) Must be back in the dorms by 7pm. 7.) Can’t go out except for medical appointments and jobs. 8.) There’s random volunteering (asked by staff)

I don’t know about this place..It wasn’t what I was expecting from the outside..These people were very good with their propaganda and signs painted outside their buildings..It still doesn’t fool me..not one bit..

I’m going to make this a game. See if they can actually give me what I want. I will be tested and I will test them too.

For now I rest.. the game doesn’t begin yet..

My mind is still on leaving. Possibly Back to Portland.

Ok my friends. I’ll keep you guys updated.
Peace be with you all.

~Serrot1

I am on Muzz for quiet sometime, but not able to click with anyone. I have three must requirements (Soft-spoken, driven, emotionally intelligent) apart from that just understanding and mindset needs to meet.

So, am not sure what I'm doing wrong from a perspective of Khi Girl.

I can share my whole profile here, but I'm not sure if Admin allows that.

(Deicided to remove the other 2 since it's sound awful)

Winslow Synth,

Filigrana Synth

Belgrave Synth

Edmund Synth

Alexis Wolfgang

Estrella WolfRayet

Osiris WolfRayet

Jack Wolfgang

.

Ps: all is full names,those 3 is the family name only one will be choosen tho.

I have previously filed for Sleep Apnea secondary to PTSD (MST). I gained significant weight from depressive symptoms, and sleep study showed mostly central apnea episodes from sleep/anxiety meds. It's been denied multiple times. But when going through DBQs, I found a positive opinion. Can I use this to reframe my claim at all?

Any insight is much appreciated.