r/humor • • 7h ago

Make it make sense

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44.1k Upvotes

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810

u/onioning 7h ago

I'm zero percent here to evangelize, cause I'm zero percent religious. Just sharing the theology.

Satan doesn't torture people. Hell is not fire and brimstone. It is the absence of God, which is supposedly the worst torture possible. And it's "fair" because the people in hell chose to not be with god.

Scare quotes because that is a million miles from informed consent. Just sharing the traditional theology.

18

u/SailorCredible 7h ago

I'm okay with no god because the god I grew up with is such a scary hypocrite. Meanwhile, Satan probably holds the best Lū'aus around!

11

u/stevendidntsay 7h ago

Bro how long did it take you to spell luau like that?

5

u/mallio 6h ago

On Android you just hold the u and you get all kinds of diacritics: ūüùûú (or 7)

6

u/LucasTheSchnauzer 6h ago

Probably .25 seconds. You just long hold over the u on your keyboard...

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u/yrthegood1staken 6h ago

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

12

u/LucasTheSchnauzer 6h ago

Haha that's fair. I only use reddit on mobile and forget others don't

7

u/yrthegood1staken 6h ago

I'm on mobile too, but I hope you got a good laugh out of it.

6

u/LucasTheSchnauzer 6h ago

I did lol Have a great day reddit stranger!

2

u/Ben_Thar 6h ago

Looks like something my cat typed out while sitting on my keyboard 

1

u/amnesiasoft 3h ago

Compose key is your friend. I always switch my keyboard layout to include the compose key. 

3

u/JoeyBagaDonutxz 6h ago

And gives a crazy blowjob

2

u/dngerszn13 5h ago

1

u/emtrigg013 5h ago

You might, depending on the craziness.

1

u/goodoldgrim 5h ago

Yeah it's so crazy you can come again and again.

1

u/No-Idea-5494 4h ago

Sure, just give me about twenty minutes

2

u/ogmoss 5h ago

It’s comments like these when scrolling through, that you just have to go back and see how the conversation got to this point lol.

2

u/Bluur 2h ago

If all the pedos are in heaven and all the gays are in hell, I mean sign me up for gay hell right now. Part of being an ally is preparing yourself for the parties in gay hell.

2

u/onioning 6h ago

I kinda like the theology of Satan as a Prometheus figure. He stole divinity from god and gave it to mankind, for which he is eternally punished. Satan as savior.

Which again, zero percent believe. Just like the idea.

4

u/Cissoid7 5h ago

I actually played in a D&D world sort of like this one time

The DM introduced the world to us as sort of being in the middle of a religious schism. Before we started playing we all had to collectively agree which faction we'd support, or just be mercenaries who didnt give a damn, so that we could be a cohesive group.

By the third session it finally clicked for all of us and someone yelled out "This is just if Adam and Eve started a cult to get back at god for kicking them out!"

It was a really fun world to play in. For the final battle against we killed the avatar of god (jesus if you will) and a serpent ate the concept of God. Wild stuff

3

u/irrelevantanonymous 5h ago

That’s kind of always how I viewed it. Because what do you MEAN my creator is holding me captive and tells me knowledge is evil?

1

u/Etchii 4h ago

Its the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Essentially foresight and the ability to make decisions, not just instinctual reactions and in the moment living.

Before you were hungry, saw fruit, ate fruit.

now you know of hunger, see fruit, pick and store fruit for later.

now you know of other's hunger, see fruit, pick and hide fruit from others.

1

u/Mazjerai 1h ago

come to think of it, how were adam and eve supposed to "choose" to obey god (by not eating the fruit) if they couldn't have the foresight to perceive wrong doing. seems god set them up to fail

3

u/boredporn 5h ago

I mean, in really broad strokes, that’s Gnosticism. 

Like, really really broad strokes. 

1

u/AffectionateCoat2133 4h ago

If you hold pathetic, self aggrandizing views like this, i am sorry to say you have never grown up.

0

u/omaewamoshindyru 4h ago

read quran , it'll clarify things up

0

u/opmt 3h ago

The devil ain’t cool.

0

u/Tyrannofelis 2h ago

Popular media depicts Satan like a CEO of Hell deciding what happens there, but he would be a prisoner like every other demon in Hell. Satan would like everyone to suffer like him, so he would try to tempt people to sin.