That sounded suspiciously like one of those "hint" things

[u/Farranor]

[u/crazytanker]

I had one where I needed to get into the storage room under the mezzanine and I didn't know what word to use, so I told the Tool Crib attendent (an attractive woman a bit younger than myself) that I need to the key to get under the mezzanine.

She responded back, "Anything else you need to get under? Like my desk?"

I had no idea what the fuck to say so I said nothing.

Edit: As far as I knew, she had a boyfriend at the time of this conversation.

[u/Zanven1 → u/crazytanker]

That's when you bring out the old reliable (though ineffective) finger guns

[u/Professional_Flicker → u/Zanven1]

You've possibly just saved me from a lifetime of awkward moments.

[u/Bitter-Value-1872 → u/Professional_Flicker]

👉🏻👉🏻

[u/Quirinus84 → u/Bitter-Value-1872]

HR has asked you to stop finger-gunning the support group for school shooting survivors.

[u/The_Mosephus → u/Quirinus84]

You got it boss 👈👈

[u/ManKilledToDeath → u/The_Mosephus]

This thread will be responsible for my wife's confusion when she suddenly receives finger gun emojis on the regular.

[u/obeytheturtles → u/Zanven1]

Wanna guess what my pinkie smells like?

[u/LeftoverDishes → u/crazytanker]

To be fair that is insanely aggressive lol

[u/Billsrealaccount → u/LeftoverDishes]

And if i know blue collar people it was most likely off color humor

[u/AmputeeHandModel → u/Billsrealaccount]

Still worth a flirty reply if she's cute, you never know.

[u/crazytanker → u/AmputeeHandModel]

As far as I'm aware, she was actively dating someone else at the time.
She is cute though

[u/Critical_Concert_689 → u/LeftoverDishes]

It also might have been literal.

Or sarcasm.

Could translate to: "I'm busy. Thanks for the interruption. Do you want to interrupt me MORE, friend?"

Could also translate to: "Since I'm getting up, do everything now. Do you need to handle anything under my desk, so you don't interrupt me later"

[u/obeytheturtles → u/LeftoverDishes]

It's a trap is what it is. You gotta be real hungry to eat where you shit.

[u/TemporaryTradition79 → u/crazytanker]

bro got handed the easiest setup imaginable and still chose silence

[u/OkMirror2691 → u/TemporaryTradition79]

While I agree I don't think I would have any idea what to say in this situation lol.

[u/Xortun → u/OkMirror2691]

"Why, is there a leak I should check?"

[u/CaptnUchiha → u/Xortun]

https://giphy.com/gifs/1F4WlAZehXf8s

[u/kodiak931156 → u/CaptnUchiha]

. . . I do my own plumbing

[u/Different_Ask3163 → u/Xortun]

https://giphy.com/gifs/f0lS4lOcrGGaAVpxT8

[u/iceagewalnut → u/Xortun]

You totally came up with that in the shower

[u/Xortun → u/iceagewalnut]

Nah. I am good in bad flirting.

I am just really bad at good flirting with real women.

[u/throwaway4353485823 → u/Xortun]

Damn how do you get good at flirting

[u/Xortun → u/throwaway4353485823]

Idk. I can't flirt with women.

[u/tapirus-indicus → u/OkMirror2691]

"ma'am that's inappropriate"

[u/dj92wa → u/tapirus-indicus]

No I mean like…if you take care of my pipes, I can take care of your…pipe…

Ma’am, I do my own plumbing

[u/KingHunter150 → u/OkMirror2691]

Simply making this motion to indicate she should make all further advances but you're ready for all of them would probably work.

https://giphy.com/gifs/dToqL9LZbVKAO1wlul

[u/Bowman_van_Oort → u/OkMirror2691]

"Why yes m'lady I would be elated to cunnilingate you"

[u/WipingAllOut → u/Bowman_van_Oort]

Gets em everytime!

[u/DrossChat → u/Bowman_van_Oort]

This guy closes

[u/ducon__lajoie → u/OkMirror2691]

"ok, let's fuck ?" or idk it never happened to me.

[u/Rouxman → u/OkMirror2691]

“W-why, is there an earthquake coming?? WHAT DO YOU KNOW”

[u/No_Material4122 → u/OkMirror2691]

https://giphy.com/gifs/SSEBolYD6NfKOT7VRj

[u/xdoble7x → u/OkMirror2691]

"Looks a bit small but i'm sure i will fit in"

[u/Plane-Education4750 → u/TemporaryTradition79]

OP inside: fuck I really need to get this shit done while I am focused on it and now I'm struggling to remember the words and I'm gonna look stupid and incompetent in front of my coworker

Coworker: "Let's fuck right now"

I honestly don't think I'd know what to say either OP

[u/Its_NEX123 → u/TemporaryTradition79]

he didn’t wanna lose his job

[u/rips_n_chel → u/Its_NEX123]

Seriously. When I was 19 working at Walmart, I had this same-rank-but-in-charge coworker who took great pleasure in making me blush. I got hired for a store remodel, so we were working directly alongside each other most of the day. She was a merciless flirt, the likes of which my innocent 19 year old self had never seen. Beyond the looks and comments, she constantly parked her boobs strategically next to or behind me so I'd turn and bump into them. Never knowing when I might be witnessed or recorded, I made sure to be like "Whoops, sorry bout that!" every time it happened. She usually replied "It's okay I liked it," and give me the eyes...

Sounds fun and all, but not really when you're a 19 year old kid at his first grown-up job with customers and cameras and HR and all that, and you're being relentlessly hit on by your effective manager, 13 years your senior, who happens to be married to the automotive manager, but cheats on him with the inventory manager, and flirts with all of us.

It stops being fun and gets frustrating surprisingly quick, cause ain't no way I'm getting involved in a mess like that.

[u/counters14 → u/rips_n_chel]

Only with the wisdom of time do you come to realize that the bullshit stocking job you had as a teenager at Walmart was not something to have held so sacred at the time. Of course the morality of sleeping with someone who is married is another hurdle that one may not be willing to jump..

[u/rips_n_chel → u/counters14]

You nailed it on both counts, tbh. In time I learned to say yes to more things and life got a lot more enjoyable, but I also pat myself on the back for trusting my gut back then. That scenario wasn't a good one to jump into. Married coworker, whose spouse is also a coworker, and she's already boning another coworker, and I know for a fact she shows off dick pics from both to anyone who cares to look... That situation is radioactive lmao, no thank you.

[u/ThunderSpanker → u/rips_n_chel]

I had the classic tradesman set up where I was working on this young rich lady’s house and she answers the door in nothing but a towel and I’m like “lady… I’m here to work, fucking don’t”

[u/IndianaGeoff → u/TemporaryTradition79]

Best you can hope for is rejection. Most probably you get fired and she gets a big check from the company.

https://giphy.com/gifs/9PAIhJvcQ35hdZPUir

[u/Mr31edudtibboh → u/TemporaryTradition79]

Silence is much safer. 

[u/midwestia → u/TemporaryTradition79]

usually not a good a idea to bang the intern

[u/mbergman42 → u/crazytanker]

Plot twist: she had a crush, wanted to say something, a leg on her desk is loose and she just blurted out the “under my desk” thing to try to keep the conversation going.

She still remembers this at 3am and cringes.

[u/ducon__lajoie → u/crazytanker]

How many times per month, does this memory resurface ?

[u/brokenwiener → u/crazytanker]

I get it, as much of a pervert I am; when I’m at work first thing i think in this type of situation is “if Im wrong, this will be awkward in HR”

OH i also have a moment like this but more direct. A coworker was bend over, working on something on the floor. I come back to my desk next to her. We’re cramped in this corner management put us in, so we sit should and shoulder and she has her butt facing my chair. So as I pull my chair by her, not sure why she said this, she said “fuck me” but kinda frustrated. Turn to face her and say “what? What was that?” Then she stands up (short 4f10 woman clearly upset) now face to face with me and closes her eyes to shout in this quiet filled office but packed with people “I SAID I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME ANON!” My face must’ve been beet red because my friend sitting next to me was laughing her ass off when she saw me. Then two of my bosses stood from their desk to ONLY see me because she went back down as if nothing happened.

This was one of 3 moments i had with her, less significant but still notable, like the time she drew her vagina and handed it to me. But that was about it.

(Edit: I was going to change the phrasing for "she drew her vagina", but I enjoyed all the comments about how I worded that. Yall are hilarious.)

Also yes, I did ask her outside of work if she wanted to get drinks, she said she doesnt hookup with guys at work. Fair, but confusing. I guess Hr spoke with her before I could.

[u/WillemDafoesHugeCock → u/brokenwiener]

This was one of 3 moments i had with her, less significant but still notable, like the time she drew her vagina and handed it to me. But that was about it.

I need to go back to bed because for a solid half minute I thought you meant "drew" in the same way you'd draw a weapon, like she just pulled her queefer out and put it in your hand.

[u/Vast-Ad1915 → u/WillemDafoesHugeCock]

"I cast Bigby's Grasping Vag on my coworker"

[u/GRV01 → u/WillemDafoesHugeCock]

Hopefully it wasnt loaded

[u/No_Material4122 → u/crazytanker]

I picture her to be....

https://giphy.com/gifs/mcn3AIwj9X5eM

[u/uberiffic → u/crazytanker]

"Is that an invitation?" is the only correct response. Come on man.

[u/hypercosm_dot_net → u/uberiffic]

Too serious and straight on.

Needs to be playful.

[u/Klo_Was_Taken → u/crazytanker]

Key to HRs office

[u/sgettios737 → u/crazytanker]

This has happened to me a few times and I usually say nothing. Even if it feels “safe” with that particular lady, one can never be sure in the workplace so just don’t.

[u/orio_sling → u/crazytanker]

Legit prolly would have said "oh are the keys under there? Seems like a weird place to keep em but whatever"

[u/UmbraofDeath → u/crazytanker]

That's when you say "And what will I find there?" Just as coyly as her though.

[u/DexSybaris]

Nah. Don't read into it and you won't ever remember this moment 👍

[u/HungryYeastStarter → u/DexSybaris]

Especially not at 3am in 4 years.

[u/TalkFormal704 → u/HungryYeastStarter]

10 years going strong boys

[u/scrotalsac69 → u/TalkFormal704]

20+ so far. It's not going away

[u/Ok-Library-1253 → u/scrotalsac69]

25 years here.

Having changed majors I had to take a 1 first year class while in my 4th year. So I sat with the good looking coeds and aced the class as it was easy. At this point I had lived in residence for several years in my own apartment and had a pretty large friend group but it was fun being friendly with a fresh group and we formed a fun and flirty little group.

Even so I was somewhat shocked when an 18 year old doe eyed good looking girl from the group asked one afternoon if I wanted to come over to her house tonight for “a movie for just the two of us.” As I paused in surprise she added “my parents won’t be home.” She had such a look of hope and dare I say longing.

I had a girlfriend. I’m not that kinda guy. It’s been 25 years and I still ponder it.

[u/LetsBeHonestBoutIt → u/scrotalsac69]

Shes waiting for you, scrotalsac69

[u/Null_Cypher_ → u/LetsBeHonestBoutIt]

Thank you for giving me a second chance to notice that username 🤣🤣

[u/North-Function995 → u/TalkFormal704]

I just lost the game. Thanks

[u/Loveable_Hemorrhoid → u/DexSybaris]

She was clearly joking cause she jokingly said it (as a joke)

[u/Diligent_Matter1186 → u/Loveable_Hemorrhoid]

Unless.....no, it can't be........unless........

[u/Robo_Patton → u/DexSybaris]

https://giphy.com/gifs/UCSIkkFXSeg3hugqGf
You’ll never feel like this. Promise.

[u/Tecotaco636 → u/DexSybaris]

One time in hs my class had a meetup to prepare for some event coming up, i went to buy some snack and this one girl noticed and tag along. We were holding hands and giggles about shits and all i could think about was the cotton candy.

Been 3 years and still thinking about it sometimes

[u/SoilRound1911 → u/Tecotaco636]

The cotton candy?

[u/Strict_Savings4405 → u/SoilRound1911]

The cotton candy

[u/Diego_not_DIO_Brando → u/DexSybaris]

Tbf I had something very similar to this and it didn't work out

[u/VikingMonkey123 → u/Diego_not_DIO_Brando]

It may not work out in the end but was the path there filled with some snu snu filled days?

[u/Diego_not_DIO_Brando → u/VikingMonkey123]

Nah, we are friends though.

[u/rex5k → u/Diego_not_DIO_Brando]

Nothing has ever worked out for me, but I hear sometimes it works out for other people.

[u/Professional-Mix1771]

https://giphy.com/gifs/f3foFwyuZGWHMtyA8s

OP SHE'S JUST BEING FRIENDLY, DON'T READ TOO MUCH INTO IT! OP!!!

[u/gracekk24PL → u/Professional-Mix1771]

I'm never falling for that. Ever. Ever fucking again. Never.

[u/ThomasVetRecruiter → u/Professional-Mix1771]

I don't know, maybe she's Canadian.

[u/medullah]

I delivered pizza one summer. Dropped a pizza off and the girl who answered the door asked if I wanted to come in and hang out and have a slice with her. I told her I had other deliveries to make so I couldn't. She said "Oh, what time do you get off then?". I say "10:00. Have a good night!"

That was like 30 years ago and I still punch myself when I think about it.

Edit - Since a lot of people are posting it was likely a trap, this was in the 90s, we were both 18ish - I was just a kid driving a cool car. Before apps this is how people met. :D

[u/mercuriokazooie → u/medullah]

On the plus side you WEREN'T kidnapped and eaten that day

[u/Always-_-Sarcastic → u/mercuriokazooie]

This is exactly why they're upset.

[u/medullah → u/mercuriokazooie]

Most likely outcome tbf

[u/ReturnToCarcosa → u/mercuriokazooie]

You're telling me this lady could eat a large pepperoni AND an entire person?

What an appetite.

[u/Bubbles_sunken_ship → u/mercuriokazooie]

Legit get nightmares about that one image of "the witches den" where a bunch of attractive women were luring men into a basement where they sacrificed them. You can't trust a stranger, no matter how big you are in comparison; if you're in their territory, who knows what they could have planned for you.

[u/reddithooknitup → u/Bubbles_sunken_ship]

This is definitely the most likely outcome.

[u/CyberNinja23 → u/Bubbles_sunken_ship]

I wonder how many victims were saved by their density.

[u/TyeDieKid → u/medullah]

Delivered food once and the hot girl who awnsered said “ my boyfriend isn’t home right now” I left thinking “ what a dumbass random thing to say”

[u/fruitpunchsamurai619 → u/TyeDieKid]

She would have stolen your kidneys bro. He was behind the bathroom door.

[u/Chocolate_Rain420 → u/TyeDieKid]

Glad you didn't notice, she's for the streets

[u/Manaze85 → u/medullah]

https://giphy.com/gifs/WxDZ77xhPXf3i

[u/Initial-Candy-2759 → u/medullah]

Yall underestimate how bad some women can be. Stranger danger bruh

[u/rex5k → u/Initial-Candy-2759]

Being fat and ugly has hidden advantages.

[u/interesseret → u/rex5k]

Being fat and ugly won't save you from the boyfriend behind the door, wielding a tool, ready to rob you.

In fact, it'd probably make you a good target. Being a delivery driver is a surprisingly dangerous job. Look it up.

[u/rex5k → u/interesseret]

Nah we know something's up when a girl randomly starts inviting us in and shit. We know it don't work that way for us lol.

But yeah delivery driver is a super dangerous job regardless of the effectiveness of honey traps.

[u/awesomedan24 → u/medullah]

30 years later she regrets not being able to harvest your organs

[u/Cryogenicist → u/medullah]

I’m actually subtly teaching my sons to be aware of this stuff so they don’t fumble their way through life like I did…

[u/Successful-Trash-752 → u/Cryogenicist]

Be prepared to donate a kidney

[u/monsieur_asshat]

C. Can't tell

[u/NotGoodISwear → u/monsieur_asshat]

Ahh, a man of culture, I see

[u/SignificanceFlat1460 → u/NotGoodISwear]

May she is from Canada

[u/alex_inzo]

I was asked once "to fix computer" by neighbour girl next door. i came, fixed and left. She was in bathrobe. Only bathrobe i think. I still can't forgive myself...

[u/Different_Peanut_742 → u/alex_inzo]

I had nearly the exact same thing happen with a school mate. There was nothing wrong with the computer and I was irritated that I had driven all the way there. She had wine, put on music, and started dancing. Elder Scrolls Oblivion had just come out so I was rushing to fix it and leave.

[u/possumdal → u/Different_Peanut_742]

What I've learned from all these "missed opportunities" moments is that men need to stop taking everything at face value and learn to imagine what others are thinking and feeling; and women need to be more direct and clear about what they want instead of dropping hints. There is no flirt-hint on earth guaranteed to break through to a guy without fully flipping the vibe around to some kind of panic.

[u/almodsz → u/possumdal]

By imagining what someone else is thinking or feeling, you're still just projecting your own assumptions onto them. There's no substitute for clear communication.

[u/RogueSeb → u/possumdal]

My now wife has literally sat on my lap in the cowgirl position naked and still had to tell me that she was on my lap naked for me to get the hint.

Tbf, I was not used to having enjoyable sex/being in an actually physical relationship that wasn't an attempt to cover up her (my ex, not my wife) infidelity, I was in the middle of rambling about PUBG and this wasn't even 10 minutes into me walking into her apartment.

But still, we men are clueless.

[u/Tederator → u/RogueSeb]

I came home from work early one day and thought I'd surprise my wife. So I stripped down, wrapped myself up in saran wrap and lay down on the table just as she was coming in. She takes one look and says, "Leftovers again?"

[u/Untagged3219 → u/Different_Peanut_742]

I mean it sounds like you had your priorities in line. Oblivion was amazing!

[u/Sinking_Mass → u/alex_inzo]

I installed the Sims 3 in is entirety disc by disc for a girl who I knew had a crush on me, but I had a boyfriend at the time. She was so flirty and I knew it but I was like "concentrate on the task and leave" 😅 I am bi, and she was very pretty

[u/Duke_Zordrak → u/Sinking_Mass]

You did the right thing 🙂‍↕️

[u/47Lecht → u/alex_inzo]

This is a difficult one. When you do a move you’re a creep. It can go both ways.

[u/Between3and20carctr → u/alex_inzo]

Unless there’s more context and the computer didnt actually need fixing Im not sure how a neighbour wearing a bathrobe in their own home really means they were wanting something else

[u/Wise-Dust3700]

I remember me and my friend went on a double date with two very attractive women. We went to see a new horror movie, went really well!

When we were getting the train back I had a moment where I asked my mate if he thought she was into me and he leaned in conspiratorially and said, "She'd been talking about her blowjob technique for the last 30minutes to you, I think you're good."

[u/readdator2 → u/Wise-Dust3700]

please tell us you're married now

[u/LuizFelipe1906 → u/Wise-Dust3700]

Is that a good thing? Talking about your sex activities with people usually means you aren't into them

[u/PrimarisMeatbag]

It's a trap, she's an undercover HR agent

[u/lnTheGrimDarkness]

Rookie. You NEVER talk about commutes with coworkers. The "oh but you pass basically under my house, would you mind picking me up/giving me a lift there?" is ALWAYS behind the corner.

[u/WordsOfWisdom16]

be careful

[u/lia-delrey]

Me and a guy I liked were one last people standing at an afters.

He was like "damn looks like everybody is asleep"

I was like "Well I'm not tired at all"

He was like "You're a super hero" and proceeded to fall asleep sitting up lol

Ofc I left and went to bed only to wake up a couple hours later to like nine missed calls and some texts like "wait did you wanna do something??"

Bless him 🫶🏻

[u/Prestigious-Speed-29 → u/lia-delrey]

Only a couple of hours?? Dude's quick off the mark. Typical for me id a couple of years...

[u/ForcedEntry420 → u/lia-delrey]

https://giphy.com/gifs/YTGFXjZHgxNev09j8I

[u/Financial_Hold6620 → u/lia-delrey]

I’m not tired ≠ let’s hook up

[u/_l8ly → u/lia-delrey]

If only there was a different way to clearly communicate your intentions like an adult. Maybe things could’ve gone differently. Who’s to say?

[u/MegaSmegmaSwagLord]

https://giphy.com/gifs/GwRBmXyEOvFtK

[u/DivingforDemocracy]

As a man, we don't pick up on hints tyvm. "Im cold" and we build a fire then sit across from you.

[u/TwoDot → u/DivingforDemocracy]

If you build a man a fire, you keep him warm for the night.
Set a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.

• Terry Pratchett

[u/Aggravated-alien]

It’s just a silly little jape. It doesn’t make this meme hit different or anything. 

I miss you Jessica. So fckg much. 

[u/Joboide → u/Aggravated-alien]

You made me chuckle. Keep suffering please

[u/Acceptable-Two5692 → u/Aggravated-alien]

Don't worry bro, Jessica told me say hi to you

[u/Zackattack1170 → u/Aggravated-alien]

This your Jessica?

https://giphy.com/gifs/H55DIlRhf0kfz8bKU6

[u/PuzzleheadedFlow1274]

OP you aint getting jackshit in this sub lmao

[u/Ronarest]

I remember the time I was failing in class in college. Then the professor asked me if I wanted to do a 1 on 1 in her private room instead that night. I thought she was giving me an innocent smile back then. I declined. I'm still wondering 10 years later what would have happened if I said yes.

[u/jofra6 → u/Ronarest]

You would have passed!

[u/Professional_Fan_788]

I was staying with a friend of the opposite gender. She took a shower and was walking around in a towel. I jokingly told her that it would’ve been funny if I threw something at her so the towel would have dropped. She gave me something to throw, said to try it, and then I just laughed.

I was so stupid and young :/

[u/LouVelosa5 → u/Professional_Fan_788]

Not judging, I just noticed the hint (5 mins after I read your comment)

[u/awetsasquatch]

Never dip your pen in the company ink my guy

https://giphy.com/gifs/kd9h44W2CpZBLH7QpA

[u/elocmj → u/awetsasquatch]

Too true! Whether she's joking or flirting, if she's a coworker then it's best to keep her at arm's length.

Get her number though. Just in case.

[u/malyszkush → u/elocmj]

I collect them like infinity stones, unlike Thanos i dont utilize them.

[u/hey_you_too_buckaroo → u/awetsasquatch]

lol, a huge number of people in this world have gotten married by dipping their pen in their company's ink. It's the people who couldn't maintain their relationship that are pushing this advice.

[u/LetsBeHonestBoutIt → u/hey_you_too_buckaroo]

Yeah but thats because some relationships should come to an end. I've dipped, dove, ducked, and dodged in the company ink and its never been worth it for me.

I did however end up in a wonderful relationship with a customer from the bakery I worked at, and we have a beautiful child.... and thats kinda like dipping it in the ink.... so i guess I cant really talk.

[u/rex5k → u/awetsasquatch]

Nah fuck that. You can always get another job.

[u/Bargadiel]

"i can make a mean BBQ" even if you have no clue how to BBQ

[u/Jerry_Hat-Trick → u/Bargadiel]

“This isn’t anything special”

I told you it was average.

[u/DiceNinja]

My daughter asked a young lady at the grocery store if she wanted to come home and have ice cream with us. She replied, “That’s up to your dad”.

My brain just locked up. I said something about explaining that to your mom and kept moving. 😂

[u/krausser666]

When I was in high school, there was this girl that was a year higher than me, but we'd commonly hang out a few blocks down for a cig, alongside like 30 other people. Very tomboyish, very blunt, everyone just kind of suspected she was a lesbian at the time. 

We got introduced one time and the following day was some sort of mandatory attendance speech with the rest of the day off, and we were smoking, talking as people do during the break, and after everyone started leaving she hands me her number and tells me to come to her place an hour ahead of the speech to pick her up. I skipped the school that day for one reason or another(probably just stupid laziness, I had to take a train on a tight schedule, since the school wasn't in my city). She refused to talk to me after that for the next two years we were in that school together. 

It's been 15 years and I'm still dying inside because of it. 

[u/51onions → u/krausser666]

Tbh I'd be pissed off with you if I had reasonable grounds to expect that you would be picking me up, and you no-showed. Even if I didn't want to have sex with you.

[u/Squidking1000]

At 35 years and counting and still thinking what "come upstairs for Coffee" could have meant.

[u/-Zonko-]

Non native english speaker here: what is a commute?

[u/PyroarRanger → u/-Zonko-]

it normally refers to the time it takes to travel between work and home (often on a motor vehicle of some kind, but people do walk to work)

[u/-Zonko- → u/PyroarRanger]

thx

[u/here-because-i-hafta → u/PyroarRanger]

They might know what the word means, but are instead asking why the hell americans have to drive so fucking much.

[u/Hopeful-Newspaper → u/-Zonko-]

non native too, but what I understand is travelling from home to work, usually long hours, including taking bus/public transport

[u/nellyfullauto → u/Hopeful-Newspaper]

As another said, it doesn’t have to be long, but the average American commute for those who drive themselves to work is about 28 minutes, and for the very few who use public transportation, it’s closer to 48 minutes each way.

Those are averages though. Millions of us travel well over 60 minutes each direction every day.  

[u/Electrical-Lead5993 → u/-Zonko-]

The drive back and forth to work

[u/Critical_Concert_689]

mfw two weeks later: "HR! HR!"

...Don't shit where you eat.

[u/joshieIZfresh]

What's that one song?

🎵 ~Don't fuck your coworkers, DON'T.~ 🎵

[u/vksdann]

The real problem is if you make the joke at your boss and she replies like this.
Don't ask for the source. I'm still trying not to get fired and commuting 1 extra hour to make sure of that... I would love to find another job right now tbh...

[u/geosub20 → u/vksdann]

I joked to my boss about his boat he owns but never invites us in, he offered to invite us back in summer. Probably think it was with good intentions.

[u/aniket121999]

Happened to me once honestly. I was in a relationship So I said I prefer teams meeting jokingly. Still proud for handling it properly without making anything awkward between us.

[u/s3v3red_cnc]

"No. Save yourself the commute, my place is closer."

[u/-lRexl-]

She's probably Canadian so you can't tell

[u/ashadashh]

Is this why anytime I flirt with a guy or give them a hint it doesn’t go anywhere? lol

Edit: to add, I don’t flirt with anyone at my job, I’m talking about out on the town, giving someone my number, etc

[u/PastanagaPlatano → u/ashadashh]

We are too scared to read it wrong and be inappropriate?

It could ruin your life. Specially in HR contexts.

[u/Fancy-Information757 → u/ashadashh]

Yeah sometimes also we’re worried that it will harm a friend ship or be yelled at for taking it wrong.

[u/HUNT3DHUNT3R → u/ashadashh]

yes, we are all kids at heart so give us a note with a winky face so we know its legit

[u/GearsFC3S → u/ashadashh]

Yeah, sorry. Some of us are dumb. For multiple reasons.

[u/HUNT3DHUNT3R → u/GearsFC3S]

yeah head trauma from every sentence that started off with "I bet you can't-"

[u/petrvalasek → u/ashadashh]

I wouldn't say everytime, but...yes, it's probably everytime.

[u/Ardalev]

Just joke back with "Hey, if you've got any good tea, I'm down!"

Doesn't matter if you are a tea drinker or not, a lot of people aren't, but it is a safe joke answer with which to gauge her reaction and/or keep the convo going in a light tone (since it's a bit unexpected thing to say)

[u/Mistuv]

https://giphy.com/gifs/H7MiQUWewsxPM2McZd

[u/XlikeX666]

Gamble
getting laid or laid off

[u/Darklight645]

Play along

[u/A_RAVENOUS_BEAST]

I think the social script for men has changed in the last few years. We've spent a long time basically teaching men that women don't want anything to do with them and they shouldn't approach women because they'll freak them out.

As a consequence, most men are afraid to flirt or dare to interpret being flirted with as being flirted with, because they can't read the room and are worried about being cancelled. At the same time, many women have been raised with the concept that it's the man that makes the first move. This is nobody's fault.

I think many women need to learn to be a lot more direct with what they want when they approach men, and this is how we will see the dating scene change in the next decade.

[u/small_Jar_of_Pickles]

Well... I'm currently dating our former intern. Other than some funny lines by coworkers, i had no bad consequences from it. 

[u/trampled_empire → u/small_Jar_of_Pickles]

Started a new office job earlier in the year and met this super cute woman who had a great sense of humor who I pegged as being in her early 30s. Took a week of low-stakes flirting for me to think to ask how long she'd been with the company. Turns out she was a student intern who was about a decade younger than I had guessed :(

[u/Zeph_SAS]

When I made a small purchase I told the cute girl at the vape store I was going to have come back in a few weeks to buy something when I could afford it. She said Oh no please don't come back, that would be the worst (as a joke). Didn't click till a week later but by the time I could afford to go back in six months time she was gone.

[u/Shadow9378]

do NOT "visit" the intern

[u/happyvoxod]

I was working few months with an intern and she was handing me over the project before leaving. Before leaving,
she said, You can have my whatsapp number if you want to ask me anything about the project in the future.
I said, No thanks. I can contact you via linkedin if needed. Don't need your number.
Took me few months to realise what happened. But in my defence, I was and still am happily married. Also, I am extremely thick when it comes to women matter. My wife practically danced around like bird to get my attention before we dated.

[u/hypercosm_dot_net]

Buddy, she was trying to land that job.

[u/ru_oc]

I was at home chilling while in college and my friend called to ask if I could walk a girl from his course home from the bar because she was alone. I was high at the time, and when she invited me in for tea and toast I told her I wasn’t hungry. Still kicking myself

[u/Whatchulooking_at]

"Haha, only if you ask me directly. I'm not good with hints" you answer half jockingly and if she's really interested eventually she'll ask

[u/BuySharp7973]

That's not a hint, that's a neon sign with a marching band. My guy, she just handed you a map with her address circled in red.

[u/aleksandronix]

Don't. A girl from work invited me as her +1 on a family wedding, and joked about "maybe we'll go on a vacation together". When I attempted to "go further" she broke off all contact with me.

[u/Illustrious-Bus2077]

HR would like to have a word with you

https://giphy.com/gifs/RodyInaeK9W3EZNaoB

[u/losteye_enthusiast]

Nah. I’d let it pass.

If she meant it, she’s free to follow up more clearly. They’re just an intern and I’ve seen that kind of impulsive stuff backfire on employees before.

Keep the workplace solid first. If she makes it very clear that she wants to see you, any potential workplace fallout is less likely to go against you.

[u/Dj_B_S]

With English not my first language, I honestly don't get the joke?

[u/Sachin951]

Next you know, you wake up next morning in a landfill and your most organs are missing

[u/MerTheGamer]

Never initiate something with someone you share place with on regular basis. If it does not work out, you have to either keep uncomfortably interacting with them or stop going to that place. It applies to work, school classes, clubs, hobby groups and so on.

[u/_-PassingThrough-_]

Once had a guy I met at a group event talk to his friend to the left of me by putting his hand on my leg and leaning on it (He was to my right).

I was pretty new to the idea of dating, but even I knew that was the equivalent of setting off a nuclear bomb instead of a flare to get someone's attention. Still, I froze like a deer in headlights. He was pretty cute, I wonder how life is going for him.

[u/gnarad_]

It's all fun and games until the tables turn on us, gents. Lmao

[u/spartanEZE]

I, 33M(single), had an intern, 24F, offer to have me over for dinner which was "wet noodles". I never took her up on the offer. I kinda regret it.

[u/TanneAndTheTits → u/spartanEZE]

Naaaaa you dodged a bullet there. Especially with an intern

[u/Othersideofthemirror]

Never shit on your own doorstep.

I don't even go within 1m of a colleague.

No innuendos, dirty jokes, never talk sex, religion or politics.

Megacorps need you to be boring.

Wish I knew this when I started out..

[u/StaticSystemShock]

The blink happened 2 years later when you realize what she meant...

[u/Scythe-Guy]

Yikes. Good luck on your upcoming job hunt OP!

[u/Stay-Classy-Reddit]

Believe it or not, jail. Right away.

[u/PassengerConfident32]

I had that coworker, that was sitting next to me. Whenever i commented something, she also gave such confusing answers. When i stretched and closed my eyes during the work, she gave me a fist bumb. Which i took lightly but confused.

On a warmer day i said that the heat in the room was unbearable and that i had to take off my hoodie (had a shirt beneath it). She agreed and then asked me straight while looking at me, whether she should take off her bra. First in a jokingly tone, than the last words sounded more serious. Said no need and had an embarrassing silence for a minute.

But it didn't get awkward between us afterwards.

[u/Hartmallen]

I love how most of the comments here are so US.

Being scared of losing one's job for thinking somebody is flirting is so insane it's funny.

[u/kViatu1]

You guys think this is funny but I had such situation, with VERY obvious hints at work, and it was super uncomfortable.

[u/Rhyett]

my dumbass will miss the hint then think about it 5years later an hate myself before bed haha

[u/cherrysweetxoxo]

Easy set up 😂